Things stoners say

MJ smokers: oh but its all natural!

Me: it’s natural to the planet, but it’s not natural to your lungs you stupid fucking hippy. Poison oak grows in the wild. It’s all natural! Why dont you smoke that?


Marijuana smokers: it’s not as bad as alchohol!

Me: its same thing. It makes you stupid, makes you slow, makes you smell like shit. Plus 82% of all pedophiles have smoked marijuana before. Not a coincidence!


Mj smokers: it’s good for you!

Me: it causes schizophrenia and low sperm count. And makes you smell like shit.

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Mj smokers: a little weed never hurt anyone!

Me: false. Many accidents happen every year due to impairment. My cousin earl smoked a doob and wrecked his car. Then went to jail and got raped!

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MJ smokers: OP is a faggot.

Everyone else: OP is a faggot.



Mj smokers: it’s not addictive!

Me: yeah. A lot of people will risk great jobs and opportunities because they cant quit the wacky tobacci.


Statistically speaking cheeseburgers and soda are far, far more dangerous.

Objectively speaking, smoking weed is a gateway drug to cheeseburgers and soda and powdered sugar donuts.

Personally speaking, I am very successful and I smoke weed and drink beer and eat cheeseburgers, but I dont drink soda or eat sweets.

I want a fucking cheeseburger now. Dammit, Kirik_Jr why you make me hungry all the time.


i aint against thc, but i am against smoking anything


Because I love you and want you to have a full tummy all the time! This ain’t Ethiopia! Eat!

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Mj smokers: it’s becoming more and more legal!

Me: yeah, in places filled with debauchery and crime and liberals!

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Mj smokers: it’s a personal choice!

Me: So is homosexuality. All of you dont deserve to choose anything because you choose so poorly!

… …

Mj smokers: lots of successful people smoke weed!

Me: true. Guys like Billy Clinton, Jared Fogle, Jeffrey Epstien and Rae Carruth are all known marijuana smokers!

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I think marijuana is great.

I hate stoners though.

If getting high is the most remarkable part of your life, your life isn’t doing so great.


At least in the 90s they would talk about how high they got on such and such occasion and how big the joint was. “Petey rolled an 11 paper joint on Saturday and we smoked it in Fred’s garage. I was sooo red, man!”



Everything in moderation.

The hand says someone is short and fat.

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