things you hate in judo.

i was just replying to the kesa gatame thread and figured that since i expressed my "id rather puke in my mouth" distate for kesa gatame, that i'd kinda like to continue with the things i hate about judo and see if any of you feel the same.

btw.. its 730pm and i am still at school-- parent conferences. ive been in this building for 12 straight hours now.

tiotoshi. this is the ultimate suck. im talking jenna jameson and peter north-- that bad. i have an extreme hatred and envy for anybody with any ability to use this throw. i can even do the spilts and cant get this to work for me even a little bit. i'd break my own kid's leg with this if i had to use it. and i had swain as a coach for 8 years. that makes it even worse.

uchimata. i can handle the fact that im not good at it, but what i hate is how people who can use it get a free pass on false attacks. they dont have to even try to throw, just hope their stupid little foot in a bit and then fall forward and its okay becuase i had to do the "doggy pee-pee stance" which means he had kuzushi. biggest load of lazy-garbage throw to ever exist and i hate everybody with any aptitude with this throw because they are all lazy by nature. try a real throw, one that makes you turn your back for real, seionage is a man's throw.

ouchigari. becuase i am naturally right handed/footed and was forced by injury to become lefty i never became any good at this throw-- the only moron ive ever thrown with it was shozo fukuda-- and he should've committed sepukku for that. whats worse, is every single champion judoka who uses uchimata ive ever seen was good at this throw-- right there is another reason why i think ouchi gari sould be removed from judo.

timing. i know it sounds weird. but i hate people who have good timing. people like our own Bret "punk dobby"-- who can do judo with socks on and footsweep you without falling himself-- really piss me off. conversely, people like josh peterson-- who has no timing at all but footsweeps as if his toes are miniature baseball bats-- suck ever worse.

mind you, i hate timing people becuase while i have rythm and can dance my white boy arse off (i do miss tuesday nights at the edge in palo alto), having timing in judo and rythm are nto at all mutually cohesive. chuck jefferson is proof to that.

skinny strong people. yes. i hate these people. they are 5'7 to 5'8 and 60kg or 6'1 to 6'3 and 66 or 73 kg yet they can grab you from across the mat and, for some damn reason, their skinny foreams have a better hold on my gi than a pimp to his hookers. youve got a better chance of shaking the white out of rice than breaking this guys grip.

US Senior Nationals. this tournament is the suck of suckville. if there was a giant robot baby this tournament would be the nuclear power plant boob that he calls "mama." there was one year from 1997 to 2004 that i went into this tournament healthy and only 4 times i could even go at all. i fought for multiple medals at every single North American event i went to, but only made it past the quarterfinals here once and only the one time sniffed the "oh sorry, no soup for you" dust of a bronze medal. and even then my tailbone was firmly patted by the door on my way out of that match.

in the 5 entire times i fought at the nationals i came home with.... 2 broken noses, 1 removal of an infected big toe nail, 1 broken wrist, 1 emergency room drainage of a swollen testicle, 1 horse kick uchimata to the testicles that results in peeing blood for a week, 1 blown MCL, and several wonderful concussions.

it is the ultimate of suckage in the entire judo world. id never even want to go watch this tournament, the odds on my plane crashing in flight are astronimically good.

thats about it for now, but ill be sure to let you know what else sucks. it is now 8:10pm. parent conferences are over and im going home. today, sucked.

judoka with scraggy hair :)

I am new to judo (3 years) but here's the main thing that I dislike:

Turning to your stomach in newaza and how this has become so accepted a defense which takes the sport completely away from it's combative origins

Everything else is pretty cool so far.

Josh, I actually have a photo from your college days..Errr, does Right Said Fred ring a bell? San Jose Live when it was the shit! waits for $50 hush money in Paypal accout

anything i did at san jose live! should've died with the place. email me the pic jon-- gotta see that one. lol.

Tiny, white belts who won't work out with me because I weigh 300 pounds. Even though I know more than they do.

I second the stinky guys who don't wash their gi, and the skinny strong guys. Also, I hate long jagged toe nails. Keep those suckers short!

1) when i wasn't a judo BB yet and mostly training in a rec club, the visiting BBs that scraped their gis deliberately across my face in newaza ... esp if i was kicking their ass beforehand. absoloutely B/S ... and most of them were bigger/heavier than me. one of the few times i felt like going MMA on some sh*theads.

2) refs that that have no clue or patience for groundwork. what's with matte calls a split second before armbarring someone?

3) closed minded judoka that have never cross trained wrestling or BJJ

4) having to learn ground techniques that are obviously bad or wrong and if you visited a BJJ club would get you tapped

5) bjj guys that criticize judo w/o practicing it

6) knee or shoulder injuries

7) randori with people with poor control but some technique, esp orange, green or blue belts

8) losing. period.

Black belts about my age that do not randori against the college and high school young men...I do, and lose sometimes (uh....a lot)...but at least I have a go with the young lions...

And what really, really bugs me is when I get thrown by one of them, the black belts tell me what I did wrong...from the fricken sidelines...

End of rant...



Josh, its a 35mm print(thats how old it is), If i can find a scanner i will send it. I can describe it in 2 words: gold, spandex.....:)

My sensei has the kids training with us all at the same time. I hate it when some kids think that they can actually throw me when I'm only being nice. Even though I have a 25-30 kilo advantage and could crush like worms.

I also hate when I give them some tips like fall correctly don't cling on to me, because I could fall with you and break you and still don't obey. They rather learn the hard way with injuries.

The unwashed gis were my biggest beef.

You sweat a lot in Judo.

Yet some peeps just hang them up to use the next time.

[Barfs a little in mouth and swallows it]

BTW - why the hate for Jenna Jameson?

Back in the day, she looked pretty cute and gobbled up jizz like it was Cristal.

its not hate for Ms. Jenna. its just a recognition of her profession. =)

jon. scan that if you can. i know Ai would love it and never let me live it down.

The flying headbutt version of Kouchi-gari.

I've had black eyes from this twice at the last place I trained at.

people's ego out of control (yes my own ego too).

My own personal hate is the people who refuse to recognize that I countered their tai otoshi or attempted uchi mata with uki waza. Yes, dipshit, there is a reason that I am on my left side while your ass went flying seven feet across the fucking mat. No, it is not because I am bigger than you. It is not because of any other reason than I fucking knew you were doing that move, and used your own momentum against you.

Even worse were refs who saw it the same way. It's why I don't do this move any more unless I totally stop the guy, stand there for three seconds to make sure the ref, the crowd, and my opponent's momma realizes he doesn't have kuzushi to throw me, and then I go for the throw.

i hate the gi. i did no-gi jujitsu for a long time before doing judo, & i still don't feel comfortable in the thing. i can actually throw much better without it.

LOL@Mr Shatner. So very true. Forgot to mention the form you have to sign in triplicate before you perform the technique

I disliked the time I hit a flying juji-gatame, match is stopped, and I think I've won. I stand up and the ref tells me I did waki-gatame, and am being hansomake'd for an illegal manuver. My opponent even helped me try to convince the ref he was wrong. (He had beat me in the 1st match and wanted the 3rd to happen).