Tony, fighting when angry?

Realstudent,

The 3-D arsenal stands for Three Dimensional arsenal.

The Emotional, Psychological, and Physical arsenals.

TCMS Maxim:

"The way you feel affects the way you think. The way you think affects the way you feel. They both affect the way you move." - Tony Blauer


Let me know if this helps or if you have further questions.

Tony Torres

Va Beach, VA

Eric/Tony/Phil:

Is "3-D arsenal" shorthand for Detect, Defuse, Defend?
Or did you mean something else?

Thanks in advance,

RS

Hi Tony. A quick question for you about restraint and performing when angry. I happen to be a HUGE animal lover, and the other evening I was out with some friends and their friends etc. Well, one guy I didn't know started on about his distaste for cats and dogs, and that whenever he sees a one he tries to catch it so he can kill/torture it. Now I have a cat, and absolutely love the guy, not to mention that cruelty to animals is something I can't tolerate. So I obviously told the guy I thought he was a sick bastard and that I would like to torture him to see how he likes it. He then starts to get smart with me and i find myself starting to lose control(something I haven't done in years). Fortunately, my good friends intervened and took me away from the guy but my evening was ruined and I was consumed with rage. What bothers me most though was that I was sooo angry at his statements that I didn't think about performing a clean preemptive hook punch and putting him to sleep, I thought about grabbing him by the throat and strangling him and gouging him. I felt like I had no control. Is this a common feeling when you're enraged; to abandon years of clinical training and experience and go caveman on the guy? Are there any training methods, be them physical or psychological, that can help when you're angry?

Menapace:

You asked some great questions and made some very insightful observations in your post. What you've noticed, and now asked about, is really the cornerstone of what Tony has researched, developed and teaches - that behavioral realities most often overrule and outstrip "clinically-developed" cognitive choices under high levels of stress and aggression. You wrote:

"What bothers me most though was that I was sooo angry at his statements that I didn't think about performing a clean preemptive hook punch and putting him to sleep, I thought about grabbing him by the throat and strangling him and gouging him. I felt like I had no control. Is this a common feeling when you're enraged; to abandon years of clinical training and experience and go caveman on the guy?"

Years ago, at one of my first live sessions with Tony, he had us do what he calls an emotional motion drill. He had us visualize a scenario very vividly in order to create an adrenaline dump, then we started "taking it out" on a heavy bag. After we were really uptight and aggresively screaming at the bag, shoving, etc Tony yells out "Rear leg roundhouse(a complex motor skill that requires distance and timing), Now!" Of the 12-13 guys in the drill, not a single kick hit the bag sooner than about 2 seconds from the command. What we all felt instinctively was that the tactic was incongrous with what was happening internally, thus we were slow to react and move... Then we reset, restarted and he yells "Headbutt! (a close quarters, gross motor tactic)" - a 1/2 second at most and all 13 bags were rocking... This was a big epiphany for me - understanding that behavior, aggression, stress, and anger all influence tactics - to believe otherwise is nonsense. You've experienced this viscerally now so I assume this makes sense.

Are there things that you can do to change/channel/control it? Yes. But, before you start trying to change a genetically-inspired response, you might want to be very clear on why and in what circumstances you would want to do so. Remember the Blauer maxim:

The scenario dictates everything.

Aggression and rage can function as a tactical directive in the appropriate circumstance and you want to be able to embrace it as a motivating force and learn the tactics that those emotions intrinsically create. This gives you greater "range" in your responses as the good guy and also will teach you much about the tactics that real, motivated, aggressive bad guys will intuitively try to use.

I am sure that Tony and others can add more thoughts to this to flesh out the concepts.

Good post.

Eric

Thanks for responding Eric. I think the thing that bothered me the most about that evening(besides the asshole's comments about animals) was that I have been in several altercations before in my life and I have always managed to perform very well, with good control, and as I stated before, a great preemptive hook punch that has helped me on many occassions. In those prior altercations I always felt the adrenaline rush before and after the incident but still managed to perform quite well. Normally, I never got angry, I just performed. But this was different. I was feeling adrenaline PLUS anger, and I thought about killing the guy, NOT simply hitting him a few times then getting the hell out of there. It was a scary feeling to feel as though you're going to lose control like that. I'm sure that if I had to get physical, my preemptive shot would have(hopefully) done the job, but instead I wanted to sink my teeth into his neck and tear and rip etc. which would have most likely meant I would be responding to this post in prison. Like I said...scary.

M:

I understand what you are talking about as I too have had confrontations on both ends of the spectrum. What I wanted to bring out in my previous post was that in training we all need to find our "hot spots" and then make the tactical connections to our behavioural choices. Obviously, we would all prefer the preemptive move for a variety of reasons. BUT, we also have to learn in training how to manage and fight when we are off-balance emotionally, psychologically and physically. When I'm working with people, I always try to pick up on things that I think will push their buttons when doing verbal engagements in any BMF, simulation, etc so that they can work in a variety of emotional arenas.

The message of your, mine and everyone's experience is the message that Tony's been preaching for 20+ years: have a 3-D arsenal that has been "acid-tested" in training as much as possible if you want real-world confidence - survival tactics vs. superman tactics...

I hope this thread will provoke some other comments and insights as its vital info...

Thanks,
Eric

Great post!