truth about porn .. very interstin

This has some graphic language but nothing we dont see on the OG and it is in a context that is fitting and not for titilating purposes.

I have often said that the internet has had more effect on the sexuality of humanity than any other thing ever. And unfortunately it gets younger and younger. Children are carrying a suitcase that will deform their mental back for the rest of their life.

By Naomi Wolf
At a benefit the other night, I saw Andrea Dworkin, the anti-porn activist most famous in the eighties for her conviction that opening the floodgates of pornography would lead men to see real women in sexually debased ways. If we did not limit pornography, she argued--before Internet technology made that prospect a technical impossibility--most men would come to objectify women as they objectified porn stars, and treat them accordingly. In a kind of domino theory, she predicted, rape and other kinds of sexual mayhem would surely follow.

The feminist warrior looked gentle and almost frail. The world she had, Cassandra-like, warned us about so passionately was truly here: Porn is, as David Amsden says, the "wallpaper" of our lives now. So was she right or wrong?

She was right about the warning, wrong about the outcome. As she foretold, pornography did breach the dike that separated a marginal, adult, private pursuit from the mainstream public arena. The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training--and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as "porn-worthy." Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can?t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman?with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond ?More, more, you big stud!?)?possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer?s least specification?

For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images? power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.

For two decades, I have watched young women experience the continual ?mission creep? of how pornography?and now Internet pornography?has lowered their sense of their own sexual value and their actual sexual value. When I came of age in the seventies, it was still pretty cool to be able to offer a young man the actual presence of a naked, willing young woman. There were more young men who wanted to be with naked women than there were naked women on the market. If there was nothing actively alarming about you, you could get a pretty enthusiastic response by just showing up. Your boyfriend may have seen Playboy, but hey, you could move, you were warm, you were real. Thirty years ago, simple lovemaking was considered erotic in the pornography that entered mainstream consciousness: When Behind the Green Door first opened, clumsy, earnest, missionary-position intercourse was still considered to be a huge turn-on.

Well, I am 40, and mine is the last female generation to experience that sense of sexual confidence and security in what we had to offer. Our younger sisters had to compete with video porn in the eighties and nineties, when intercourse was not hot enough. Now you have to offer?or flirtatiously suggest?the lesbian scene, the ejaculate-in-the-face scene. Being naked is not enough; you have to be buff, be tan with no tan lines, have the surgically hoisted breasts and the Brazilian bikini wax?just like porn stars. (In my gym, the 40-year-old women have adult pubic hair; the twentysomethings have all been trimmed and styled.) Pornography is addictive; the baseline gets ratcheted up. By the new millennium, a vagina?which, by the way, used to have a pretty high ?exchange value,? as Marxist economists would say?wasn?t enough; it barely registered on the thrill scale. All mainstream porn?and certainly the Internet?made routine use of all available female orifices.

The porn loop is de rigueur, no longer outside the pale; starlets in tabloids boast of learning to strip from professionals; the ?cool girls? go with guys to the strip clubs, and even ask for lap dances; college girls are expected to tease guys at keg parties with lesbian kisses ? la Britney and Madonna.

But does all this sexual imagery in the air mean that sex has been liberated?or is it the case that the relationship between the multi-billion-dollar porn industry, compulsiveness, and sexual appetite has become like the relationship between agribusiness, processed foods, supersize portions, and obesity? If your appetite is stimulated and fed by poor-quality material, it takes more junk to fill you up. People are not closer because of porn but further apart; people are not more turned on in their daily lives but less so.

The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don?t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.

So Dworkin was right that pornography is compulsive, but she was wrong in thinking it would make men more rapacious. A whole generation of men are less able to connect erotically to women?and ultimately less libidinous.

The reason to turn off the porn might become, to thoughtful people, not a moral one but, in a way, a physical- and emotional-health one; you might want to rethink your constant access to porn in the same way that, if you want to be an athlete, you rethink your smoking. The evidence is in: Greater supply of the stimulant equals diminished capacity.

After all, pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it.

Other cultures know this. I am not advocating a return to the days of hiding female sexuality, but I am noting that the power and charge of sex are maintained when there is some sacredness to it, when it is not on tap all the time. In many more traditional cultures, it is not prudery that leads them to discourage men from looking at pornography. It is, rather, because these cultures understand male sexuality and what it takes to keep men and women turned on to one another over time?to help men, in particular, to, as the Old Testament puts it, ?rejoice with the wife of thy youth; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times.? These cultures urge men not to look at porn because they know that a powerful erotic bond between parents is a key element of a strong family.

And feminists have misunderstood many of these prohibitions

I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. ?Can?t I even see your hair?? I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. ?No,? she demurred quietly. ?Only my husband,? she said with a calm sexual confidence, ?ever gets to see my hair.?

When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband?the kids are not allowed?the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day?in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman?s hair.

She must feel, I thought, so hot.

Compare that steaminess with a conversation I had at Northwestern, after I had talked about the effect of porn on relationships. ?Why have sex right away?? a boy with tousled hair and Bambi eyes was explaining. ?Things are always a little tense and uncomfortable when you just start seeing someone,? he said. ?I prefer to have sex right away just to get it over with. You know it?s going to happen anyway, and it gets rid of the tension.?

?Isn?t the tension kind of fun?? I asked. ?Doesn?t that also get rid of the mystery??

?Mystery?? He looked at me blankly. And then, without hesitating, he replied: ?I don?t know what you?re talking about. Sex has no mystery

on a personal level, this is why I dont frequent porn. It just messes with your sense of real life intimacy with your wife. Looking at pretty women even naked women is a natural urge but delving into porn on a regular basis is only setting yourself up for the opposite of what you originally wanted. More Sex.

that was a good article, thanks

rev

Zealot66,

Great post! The reason why I liked your post is that you really made an excellent point about how porn has twisted the male's sense of sex and sensuality and how porn has made women, in some shape or form, try to conform to that twisted image/fantasy.

I agree in that I hate porn's idea of both sex and sexiness.

I am attracted to "naturalness" I like what a woman naturally brings to the table. In other words like natural breast, natural feminine body shape, natural everything.

In my opinion the more natural appearing a Female is the more appealing she is to me. I also like sensuality in the more relational sense, if you know what I mean. There is something powerful and magically about touching and kissing a woman whom you really love and truly desire to be one with.

mg does that mean you like unshaved armpits and legs and no makeup? just wondering how natural you like it. I like semi natural, a bit of make up, and some shaving in public regions is to be applauded

rev

haha. I just posted this for you guys that dont have ex porn star strippers wives like me. I live in paradise. Born again strippers who will cook clean and take care of kids have been a dime a dozen for me but I finally found one who has natural breasts and neither wears nor needs any makeup. Dont hate the player, hate the game. Gonna head into the living room now for a lap dance. bye.

Great article. Its interesting that the Jews had a mandated period of abstinence every month. Anybody who is married knows that a conscious period of abstaining increases the drive exponentially.

Zealot,

Do you have a url for that?

See the OG for copious examples of men ruined by pornography.

ridge, it was on planetpreterist.com front page

Rev,

You said: "mg does that mean you like unshaved armpits and legs and no makeup? just wondering how natural you like it. I like semi natural, a bit of make up, and some shaving in public regions is to be applauded."

Well...I should say "natural" within limits. I certainly ain't going for unshaven legs and armpits...eewwww. Like you said "semi-natural" is good. Make-up is good as long as it isn't overdone. I mean I can't stand the heavy eyeliner, ruby red lipstick and pancake foundation. I actually like make-up which brings out the natural beauty of a female and not overwhelm it.

I also agree that some shaving in public regions is good ALTHOUGH in Europe women DON'T shave their armpits which speaks to their taste.

Anyway I am turn off by anything fake or I should say anything "obviously" fake...from breast, to nails, hair etc.

"Oh come on Ridgeback, they aren't ruined by it. They can stop spending
8 hours a day watching it anytime they want. It's not their fault their
women are so boring they have to resort to midget porn to get aroused, is
it?"

BAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Its all empty garbage. I wish I never got started with it as a kid.

Ones you lose your innocence towards a subject, it can never be regained.

It's just another thing which needs to be let go. If porn can take over your life then so can gambling, drinking, drugs, prostitutes, affairs, violence, and even religion. I don't think that prohibition of porn is the answer. Its already out there. It is up to individuals to change themselves so that they no longer desire it.

Yes Chance but the United states is inundated with porn. Its not like you can just choose not to view it and stay clear because it is shoved down everybody's collective throat in myriad ways. A lot of the article above is about porn creep. It has been legal for a long time but it used to be relegated to a very private world of adults. Now the entire society is permeated with it. There is a big difference between porn on the margins and in the background of a culture and porn as a central and defining force of culture.