Sorry guys I’m a little all over the place, quick cap, been lurking for about 7yrs, take around 1500 milligrams of RSO daily and have a lot of the same things I see him going through, luckily I was forced to be more street smart and powered through to be a man (mostly!)
Our son has always been different, from birth. My wife was a teacher for 10yrs (dont hold it against her) so she noticed things and got him in Early Steps, speech therapy and whatever else she could get him in, helped but never quite enough. Mean time we are trying whatever we can but he doesnt like regular toys, no playing cars not even make them fly, no action figures, blocks, legos, Fuckin nothing. I’m thinking how did I fuck up, he is my son and I cant even play a simple game of cars. So years of trying to figure it out, of course now he is crawling out of his skin, cannot enjoy anything in life, we saw it most during the pandemic and knew we HAD to do something. So gutted, we agreed to pharmaceuticals, seriously killed me, but was reacting pretty good at first. Started with ADHD meds, eased into them, yeah ok seems to be a positive change, LOWEST doses as possible. Well his moods are kind of all over now, hitting puberty young as I did, so we’re hesitant. Well you guessed it we needed to give him something for anxiety. First one made him go cry by himself during recess for about 2 weeks until a teacher saw and told us. Next one tarted off fantastic! Amazing, running through 300pg books in a day, truly breathtaking! For about 3 weeks, then he’s falling back again, emotional all over the place.
One day a friend is over they have electric scooters and we got him an electric 4 wheeler hoping to get him out more, it worked! Unfortunately he came in a little hot one day and smashed the back of his friends scooter. (We have a rental around the corner I’m working on, and wife was inside tending to the smaller one) His friend rides up to me on a different one than his own, and his look says it all! I said what happened, he explained the accident and I asked if anyone was hurt and I could tell he didnt know how to answer, so I fucking book it home, 1min away, come up and my son is hysterical but calming a little, forehead RED and SWOLLEN, shaking. Finally his friend said well he hit it, broke the fender but then started punching himself in the head as hard as he could and when that hurt too much he started slamming it into anything he could find, his friend tried consoling but my son just said he should just die, commit suicide, better off if he was dead, and I just fucking crumbled truly. I couldn’ t hug him hard enough, tell him how beautiful he is inside and out, and this world would 1000% be a worse place off for he not it, I’m fucking sobbing now FUCK.
Dr says to up his meds for now because shortly after that he stopped eating for a week, makes him deathly ill, vomiting, headache, leaves room for tub then back to room. Fuck this I know what works for me and now he’s on it……
Total Fucking Difference, we could not be any happier with his path going forward, for this part (another thread tbd)