Weird people in martial arts...stories

My first one comes from when I trained and competed in amature kickboxing and boxing. I was at the time a delivery driver installing and delivering appliances. I got partnered for a while with a fat bearded slob that clearly had never trained but would insist through no instigation that he knew a death touch. (Ugh)

There was also a blackbelt at the place I trained kickboxing (it was a karate studio as well) who actually believed he could change the laws of physics and make himself heavier. He didn't claim he would FEEL heavier. He really thought he WAS heavier. (Turned out later to be a pedophile...go figure)

I have more for sure but I am interested in your stories about people in or around martial arts that were bizarre. Phone Post 3.0

We had a guy that had a skid mark on his gi. We called him Skidz. Phone Post 3.0

He was also a know-it-all prick who would get subbed rolling with a mannequin Phone Post 3.0

If been doing bjj for about a year (this is around 2001) in a club where most of is were about the same experience give or take a few months. Really cool crowd and some of the best training times I ever had.

A guy came in who was in his late 30's at the time. He claimed to have done 20 years of choy li fat, and that he couldn't be taken down as he could control his weight and balance, making him immovable.

By the end of that night, everyone in the class (even a 15 year old kid that was 2 weeks into training) has taken this guy down.

We all expected him to leave, but he didn't. Instead, to all of our surprise, he became a regular member and picked it up. He recently got his black belt and runs his own school. Phone Post 3.0

Side note, the guy who ran the school and who was a really talented purple belt at the time, is now on parole for house breaking/drug matters/assaults etc etc Phone Post 3.0

I used to train kickboxing with a full blown alcoholic. But he was in awesome shape trained for years and was one of the better ones there. He must have just had a little bit to keep him on top before he came to class. Phone Post 3.0

Early 20's kid, skinny as a rail, 1970's cheezy pron mustache and wore old sweatpants with the elastic ankles. Claimed he was going to be sent to Mexico by the DEA to take care of that whole cartel thing and wanted to learn MMA/BJJ so that he could handle his shit down there if things went mano-e-mano. Picture an even more unathletic Kiplin Dynamite. As the instructor would demonstrate the day's technique this kid would get on all fours and crawl up to within a couple of feet of the demonstration, and then move around so he could soak it all in from different angles. He'd been there a couple of weeks and his schtick was starting to wear thin...particularly with the instructors (although I enjoyed him because I liked to watch the uncomfortable reactions of "normal" people to his quirkiness). We had 3 or 4 folks from the gym were fighting in a Muay Thai event one night and the instructor was real traditional...and had incense and fruit offerings at the front desk for the fighter's safety/protection/whatever the heck it's for. Ol' Kiplin comes beeboppin' in off the street just as the Kru is going over ceremonial procedures with the fighters. Kiplin starts picking through the fruit bowl like he's in his mom's kitchen and grabs himself a nice big apple and takes a bite. F'ing Kru goes nuts and has to be restrained...I guess Kiplin killed the fruit mojo or something. That was the last we ever saw of him. I guess he figured he soaked up enough deadliness and was probably more scared of the Kru than any Mexican drug lord.

Until one day I'm watching CNN and they're talking about some gringo who had singlehandedly taken control of the Zeta Cartel with his mad martial arts skills... Ok, that part's a lie. The rest, true story.

In Phone Post

Lost it on a parent of wierd kid that had chocolate muffin spread 10 foot diameter at tkd tournament.He was laying down in a group of people standing swearing muffin on himself and the floor. He was prob 12 his mother was sitting right in front of him she had no problem with the mess I could see other people looking at it as their kids were stepping in crumbs with bare feet. She looked like a deer in the headlights when I handed her a broom and told her to clean her kids mess up in a not so nice way. Phone Post 3.0

This guy came in and explained that he had "experience" on the ground and standing and named some obscure tma. Instructor put him with me when it comes time to roll. He ignores every single thing from the previous hour of class and and insist on doing his own thing, which gets him swept, tapped, and dominated. At one point he tells me "this wouldn't happen in real life because I would be using hammer fists on you the whole time" (i had him in closed guard at the time).

It's time for a little boxing. Once again, instructor puts him with me. It's hammer time. He raises his fists in front of him and holds them with the bottoms facing me. When he jabs or punches it's a Weird horizontal hammer fist strike, which reduces his striking range by about half. I repeatedly offer advice, he not oonly ignores it, but actually keeps trying to hammer fist me as I'm trying to help. Instructor comes over and tells me to spar and stop messing around it's pointless. Guy gets a bloody nose and literally never lands a punch but never waivers from his hammer fist zombie walk stance. He never returned to class.

Couldabeen - If been doing bjj for about a year (this is around 2001) in a club where most of is were about the same experience give or take a few months. Really cool crowd and some of the best training times I ever had.

A guy came in who was in his late 30's at the time. He claimed to have done 20 years of choy li fat, and that he couldn't be taken down as he could control his weight and balance, making him immovable.

By the end of that night, everyone in the class (even a 15 year old kid that was 2 weeks into training) has taken this guy down.

We all expected him to leave, but he didn't. Instead, to all of our surprise, he became a regular member and picked it up. He recently got his black belt and runs his own school. Phone Post 3.0
That is a really cool story actually. Did he ever say anything afterward about his ridiculous claims? Phone Post 3.0

other than having one trainer from thailand that would hold pads for you with a cig in his mouth and beer for "Water breaks"

 

typical thai stuff reallky

Not a weird story but a cool one.

When I was 12 I used to take GoJu Ryu karate and our head instructor Sensei Larry (think of a 6'5" bearded, biker gang looking, big, 60 year old, white Mr Miyagi) had been in the military and training in Okinawa was watching the instructing black belt teach us some basic katas.

We stop the training for a minute to adjust our gis and wipe the sweat from our faces. So we are just standing there at attention. Sensei Larry is sitting on a wooden bench to our right observing us (it always made us nervous when he was there, we never wanted to disappoint him).

Anyway, out of the corner of my eye, I see Sensei Larry throws a lightening fast, front snap kick with his left leg. I start thinking what the fuck is his just randomly kicking the air for? The black belt that was instructing us walked over to see what was going on and I see him looking down at the ground. He then calls us students over (there were maybe 6 of us that night). On the ground, in front of Sensei Larry's left leg was a fly. He kicked a fucking fly mid air and killed it. Lol. Phone Post 3.0

Jessy Ringquist -
Couldabeen - If been doing bjj for about a year (this is around 2001) in a club where most of is were about the same experience give or take a few months. Really cool crowd and some of the best training times I ever had.

A guy came in who was in his late 30's at the time. He claimed to have done 20 years of choy li fat, and that he couldn't be taken down as he could control his weight and balance, making him immovable.

By the end of that night, everyone in the class (even a 15 year old kid that was 2 weeks into training) has taken this guy down.

We all expected him to leave, but he didn't. Instead, to all of our surprise, he became a regular member and picked it up. He recently got his black belt and runs his own school. Phone Post 3.0
That is a really cool story actually. Did he ever say anything afterward about his ridiculous claims? Phone Post 3.0
Bro, shen posts here all the time. Phone Post 3.0

Have seen plenty of mystical shit over the years, but all are pretty similar to some on here.

When I was an ammy boxer, I'd just fought a bloke from another gym (inter gym fight night). After fucking each other up adequately, we sat next to each other and proceeded to watch the next fight.

The girl from my gym was a toughie, and stepped in. Her opponent was one of the hottest, prissyiest/girliest blondes you can imagine. Blood squirted from my nose as I chuckled with my opponent about how she was gonna get destroyed.

Half way into the first round, this hot feminazi had already planted the other girl's nose across her face (literally). She TKO'd her before the end of the round.

To this day I imagine her destroying any guy who dares to fuck with her, and doing so in the manliest fashion.

We had a guy that any time he was about to start hurting the focus mitts he would make a light saber noise. Every strike would be to the sound of a lasers beam. Phone Post 3.0

Ashida Kim

Introduction

Local Winter Haven Man Leads Way In Selling Mail Order Black Belt Certificates


Chad Sloman had heard the rumors before. For years in the martial arts community there have been whispers. "Want to impress some guilible potential students with your martial arts skills, but don't have the actual background? Pay a fee to join a martial arts hall of fame or buy a black belt ranking which you can hang on your wall to impress little Johnny and his soccer mom." In March a friend told Chad about The Dojo, and Dojo Press, a site [http//dojopress.com/catalogms2.htm offering to rank to all those who passed certain qualifications], operating out of P.O. Box 209, Lake Alfred, Florida.


Certification, suitable for framing, in your chosen system of fighting arts can be awarded upon presentation of previous credentials at Yudansha/Black Belt Level or above. Prior certification or documentation eliminates the video testing requirement. Qualified Military Hand-to-Hand Combat or Self-Defense Experts are eligible for this Certificate. No additional training required. Get credit for what you already know.

But wait! One also receives:


DOJO ID Card and 8 1/2 x 11 Certificate of Rank and Membership in The DOJO-Academy of Martial Arts, a subsidiary of BLACK BELT INTERNATIONAL the parent company and Representative Commission for dozens of and martial arts clubs worldwide. Video Testing is available as part of the Fee, and will be evaluated by recognized instructors and sanctioned in whatever school or free method is designated by the applicant.

A investigation by members of Bullshido.net, a website devoted to discussing and investigating questionable behavior in the martial arts has uncovered the following. By a minimum of clear and convincing evidence we have discovered that the man running this site, is named Radford W. Davis, and he has been using the pseudonyms of both Ashida Kim and Chris Hunter since at least 1980. Starting in 1980 Davis has published approximately a dozen Ninja related books1 achieved greater circulation then the publications of legitimate Ninjutsu masters like Masaaki Hatsumi and Stephen Hayes who traveled to Japan to study with Hatsumi. Davis, whose "ninja" alias incorrectly mixes a Japanese first name with a Korean last name, has been operating his enterprise out of its current Lake Alfred Florida post office box for well over a decade.2

Background of the Investigation

Though Ninjutsu was first widely seen in America in the 1967 James Bond move 'You Only Live Twice' it really emerged in the American public consciousness starting in 1980 when ninjas and Ninjutsu were shown to the American public in the Miniseries 'Shogun', and the Chuck Norris vehicle 'The Octagon'. By the time the 1981 Cannon Group's movie 'Enter the Ninja', was in release, the martial arts community had descended into the Ninja craze.3


This trend fueled the rise a number of uncredentialed teachers of which Davis has been perhaps the most successful. Davis is also known in martial arts circles for using without permission the name of the Black Dragon Society which was originally founded by the late John Keegan of Chicago, Illinois. Needless to say, when Davis republished Keegan's book which was written under the name of Count Dante, he did so without permission.


"These certificates are dangerous because their graphics appear professionally done and so they look official," says Neal Fletcher who runs Bullshido.net, a martial arts website which devotes itself to discussing martial arts fraud and misbehavior. "If I stuck one of these up on the wall of a martial arts school, ("Dojo" in Japanese) I could easily convince most people I was certified to train them and take their money for doing so because I possessed legitimate rank in the art specified on the certificate. In actuality I would be a complete fraud, putting them at risk if they ever did need to use their self defense skills in a dangerous situation. It's easy for an average person to get taken in when they see a man in a martial arts uniform with a decorated black belt. It's the 'karate kid' effect: people want to assume martial arts teachers are inherently reputable and trustworthy because that's how they're generally represented in popular culture. But in reality there aren't any genuine standards or regulation of the industry, leaving it open to all sorts of fraud."


So the question became, would Davis/Hunter/Kim sell a black belt certificate to anyone, or did he actually screen applicants and require a video tape or proof of rank as he claimed to do. Sloman, a member of Bullshido decided to find out.

Getting Your Black Belt In One Easy Step

On March 21, 2005 Chad Sloman sent Ashida Kim (aka Hunter aka Davis) the following e-mail at http://dojopress.com/catalogms2.html:


Please send me a black belt certificate in "Vale Tudo". My experience: 7th kyu Yoshukai Karate (World Yoshukai Karate Kobudo Organization); 1.5 years (untested) Atarashii Naginata (Scouthern California Naginata Federation); 5th kyu Aikido (Aikido Schools of Ueshiba); 7th kyu Judo (United States Judo Association)

Now for anyone who knows the first thing about Japanese Martial Arts, which a supposed Ninja master would, 7th and 5th kyu are extremely low, pre-black belt ranks. In many systems there are 10th kyu before one reaches Black Belt, with 10 kyu signifying the white belt and 1st kyu indicating the person is a Brown belt and close to testing for their Black Belt. So no matter how one sliced it, Chad was no more the half the way to a legitimate black belt and had less then half the time needed to be awarded a black belt in most legitimate martial arts. (typically 4 years on a part time training schedule.)


The other kicker was what Chad was asking for. Vale Tudo, "anything goes" in Portuguese, is a no-holds barred (mostly) grappling competition commonly found in Brazil. Black Belts are not awarded to people competing in this full contact competition any more then they are awarded in American boxing or wrestling. Anyone with a serious background in martial arts, or even a history of reading martial arts magazines would spot this problem. Ashida is not a soccer dad, or martial arts newbie, even as a faux Ninja master he would be aware of this information.4


Ashida's reaction? He didn't ask Chad for more details, even though Chad never presented Black Belt Level credentials from another art as required by Kim's sale page on his website. Davis/Kim/Hunter also didn't inquire about the obvious problems in Chad's story. Instead, several weeks after payment of $55 was made via PayPal, Chad received the following certificates by federal express, one of which memorialized that he was a Black Belt in "Vale Tudo". A copy of this certificate is attached to this press release. Notice the sharp graphics; one would have to know something about the martial arts to know it's actually not worth the paper it's printed on.


On May 26, 2005 days after Chad purchased this black belt certificate, another Bullshido member wrote Ashida :


Hi Ashida,

Further to our previous chats. It is now public knowledge that we arranged for a less than qualified MAist to purchase a blackbelt grade off you to test your claim that you check applications.

The bullshido thread is: http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=24467
Do you have anything you want to say to this?

Ashida's reply in full:


From :
Sent : 26 May 2005 21:28:33
To : armchair_strategist@ hotmail.com
Subject : Re: You selling blackbelt grades without checks

You lot have been THREATENING me with an "expose" for years. Talk is cheap and that's all you want, attention in the form of a reply. Problem is, your facts are all wrong. No matter how many times I prove you to be liars and fools, you just come back for more. I don't care what you children waste your time on at Bullshido. Not one of you is worthy to kiss my foot.
I remain,
Ashida Kim

Since Davis/Hunter/Kim was made aware of this sting, he has made multiple arguments or excuses that can be found on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Ashida_Kim/archive1.


These include:


Chad has no right to complain of fraud because he received his certificates as paid for.

Chad Sloman falsely claimed that he had prior BJJ/MMA/Vale Tudo experience.

The certificate only described Chad as an expert in Vale Tudo, not a black belt.

These were only honorary certificates.

Sloman was required to fill out a form in the material that was sent to him providing proof of his prior experience or a tape showing him perform his martial arts skills, after the sale, which he did not do.

Since a no hold barred fighter has published a book through Dojo Press, Ashida has the ability to rank people in Vale Tudo.

Dealing with these arguments in order:


Chad and Bullshido were under no illusions about Mr. Davis before we ordered his certificates. The deceived would not be the party ordering the certificates but the students of this buyer whom would be recruited with a false claim "documented" by this certificate. Therefore, Ashida's response here is irrelevant.

Chad did not deceive "Ashida Kim" into believing he was more skilled then he actually was. On one of the two certificates labeled "Black Belt Certificate" Chad's prior non-black belt experience is explicitly mentioned and he is still granted the rank of "Expert". So Davis has no claim that Sloman did not tell him what his martial arts experience was before both certificates were issued.

There were two certificates issued. One was entitled "Black Belt Certificate" and awards Chad the rank of "Expert" The other is a "Certificate of Rank and Membership" inducting Mr. Sloman into the Dojo Martial Arts Academy at the rank of "Black Belt 1st Degree in the Martial Art, or System of the Vale Tudo". The second officially calls Chad a first degree black belt and the first an expert in Vale Tudo. While the second certificate would be more useful for fooling soccer moms, the term "expert" in the first certificate is synonymous with the term Black Belt.

The term "honorary" did not appear on either certificate so these were not sold as honorary certificates and could be used to dupe the unwary.

The only form shipped to Sloman after the fact to be filled out was an Black Dragon Fighting Society Dojo Application. Since Chad was not attempting to start his own BDFS affiliate he did not have to provide any post sale information as Kim/Davis alleges. More importantly the language of the page under which Mr. Sloman bought the certificate indicates such proof was supposed to be provided before the rank was issued. See http://dojopress.com/catalogms2.html

Finally, regardless of Mr. Davis's assertion that he was competent to hand out rank in Vale Tudo because of a fighter who had written a book for him, this NHB figher never signed Chad's certificates or reviewed any video tape of him because none was ever provided. Mr. Sloman would be willing to sign a sworn affidavit attesting to the facts outlined here and in his post on the wikipedia thread under the heading "The Facts Regarding the Vale Tudo Black Belt". When Samuel Browning challenged "Ashida Kim" to sign his own affidavit under his real name, supporting his own version of the facts, Kim/Davis did not even address Mr. Browning's challenge.

Contrary to Ashida Kim's assertions, our facts are reliable and we have a Black Belt certificate that was bought from him simply for money and displays his signature. It is unknown how many of these certificates Kim/Hunter has sold, how many have been used to open schools, and how many have been used to acquire slightly less 'shady' rank.5 But this is a defective product widely available through the internet and it may be decades before we fully know how many of these certificates are out there being used to con people. Neal Fletcher observes: "Ultimately this is only one belt factory, there are other places we've heard of second hand where one can also get a black belt, in this industry it's really buyer beware."

The Previous Punking of Ashida Kim

Before Bullshido.net had ever brought a Black Belt from Ashida Kim, two of our members, Anthony and Osiris, had previously punked him. One of Ashida Kim's more astonishing public actions was to put up a $10,000 challenge on his website to anyone who wanted to fight him. That's not an offer to pay $10,000 to anyone who can beat him, as one might initially believe upon reading of the challenge. The terms are much less generous than that, and are designed to confer every benefit upon Ashida Kim and none to the would-be challengers:


First, since most of the challenges are frivolous, being generated by those who have some grudge with their own masters but who are afraid to face them and so select a surrogate upon whom to vent their anger and frustration; and, in light of my own professional status, Challengers must post an Appearance Bond of $25,000 to guarantee that they will actually show up for the fight, limiting the number of unnecessary trips to meet these loudmouths who then don't show up despite all their braggadocio. Only serious contestants need apply. If the Challenger fails to appear in the Ring within five minutes of being called for his Match, the Bond is forfeit to the Challenged, the Challenger is disqualified, and the Match awarded to the Challenged.

Second, as a professional fighter, my fee is $10,000. Which will be paid by the Challenger 30 days before the match. Also, Challenger will pay travel expenses for myself and a party of three to the site of the match and provide food and lodging for the Party for the duration of the event.

Third, Challenger will provide documentation and certification from local sports authorities governing such events attesting to their physical fitness and credentials sufficient to demonstrate their ring worthiness, and sign an irrevocable release absolving Ashida Kim, his agents and assignees from any financial, criminal, or moral liability in the event the Challenger is killed, crippled, or maimed.

Fourth, the Match will be held in a public venue to which admission is paid, of which, the Challenged will receive one-half of all gate and concession receipts. A member of the Party will supervise ticket and concession sales and all amounts due will be paid before the match. No dough, no show. The reason for this stipulation is that I have fought many times in alleys to defend my honor, only to have the tale told by the loser of how he kicked my ass. Therefore, credible and numerous witnesses are required to prevent any disinformation.

Fifth, Ashida Kim will be declared the winner in the event of a 5-second pinfall, submission by the opponent using matte or pat-out, if the opponent is unable to answer the bell, if the opponent is knocked out or rendered unconscious by a choke or stranglehold for a standard referee's 10-count, if the Ringside Physician determines he is unable to continue, if he fails to appear for the match, or is disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct. No judges, no holds barred, last man standing is the Champ.

Note the lack of provisions for any award to a victor, and even worse, the lack of specified conditions under which Ashida Kim could lose - only the conditions under which his opponent loses are unspecified. Also, it is difficult to see how "unsportsmanlike conduct" could be characterized in the absence of judges.


Nevertheless, Bullshido member Pandinha decided to take Ashida up on his offer. The resulting article details Kim's failure to live up to the conditions of the challenge. Even when his challengers presented plausible evidence of being able to meet his financial conditions, Kim refused to fight.