Pro wrestling can get weird. 77-year-old Mae Young once got pregnant by Mark Henry, and then gave birth to a bloody and gooey hand.
Japan too can get weird. Two words - Kanamara Matsuri. And yaeba (snaggle teeth) are hot; surgery is available. Plus the whole tentacle porn thing.
Thus, it is not surprising that the weirdest throw in pro wrestling history started in Japan.
In the red corner, we have Danshoku Dino, who plays a flamboyantly gay wrestler. His trademark technique is what you might term a cobra clutch, or maybe it’s a dongbar.
In the blue corner we have Joey Ryan, whose aim is to “bring sleazy back to pro wrestling.” In 2015, Ryan made his Japanese debut, for the Dramatic Dream Team (DDT) promotion. An unstoppable force met an immovable object, and the result was the weirdest throw in pro wrestling history.
To be clear, that is not throwing someone by grabbing onto their nether region, this is throwing someone with, ummmm, there.
The video went viral and Ryan has been featured in the New York Daily News, Rolling Stone, and Vice, and got a sponsorship deal with an adult video site. The check has cleared, and the throw’s official name is The YouPornPlex.
Ryan explained how the viral move was developed in an interview with Jen Yamato for The Daily Beast.
“Because the political correctness is a little different in Japan than it is in America, [Danshoku Dino] can be over the top," explained Ryan. "He can feel up his opponent and do the grabbin’ the dick stuff as his offensive maneuvers, and the crowd eats it up. The wrestlers sell it as shock.”
“He spoke broken English. ‘Maybe I grab’—meaning he grabs my penis—‘but maybe you no sell’—meaning I don’t react. He said, and I quote, ‘Because American cock is so big and so strong!’ It felt like an episode of South Park.”
Ryan has been refining his craft, and has developed the throw off the top rope, against a little person, and against five wrestlers at the same time, and then up to eleven.
Upsidedown from the top rope …
Dong Style wrestling vs. five opponents (no can defend) …
The penisplex is nondiscriminatory, and works on women, too.
However, as each new technique is developed in combat sports, it seems that there is always a counter developed soon after.
It’s still real to me, dammit.