What’s the gayest way a gay guy gayly hit on you?

This isn’t a thread… it’s an intervention now

Free tacos ?

I’m in

I used to go to a lot of raves in the San Bernardino area. One place was called Ranch Rodriguez. No idea if it’s still there. But it was like a quincinera hall. Real small raves but a lot of fun.

Eventually after going to raves all over the area you start to meet the same people. And kind of make friends with them. This one dude was super gay nut was always cool. So he’d chill with our little group and hang out. Eventually he got my cell number from another friend and it would be innocent enough. Asking about what party we were going to next and shit like that.

Got creepy about 3 months later. He called me one night and told me he was in love with me and wanted to take me out. I said no. He says but look at me. And started to send me tons of nudes of him. I changed my number and he started to do it to my girl and another friend telling them to pass the pics on to me.

My other friend, who was also gay, called the cops. Filed a report and all kinds of shit. Never saw him at a party again.

Dude sending pics was clearly not an OGer, so the pics had to stop.

Oof. Fuckin you had to suck his dick after that.

Daughter and I at Home Depot. Dude working there asked me about my shirt, said he liked it (Ben Davis). Daughter laughed at me, saying that dude was into me. I said no way.

Got his phone number when she wasn’t looking. Yeah faggots, I still got it!

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Got a couple, this is one of the funnier ones. I have no gaydar at all, it sucks.

The day before I got married ~20 years ago, my fiancee was getting her hair and nails done before the big day. Since I was driving, and I had zero interest in sitting there watching all this, I walked over to the Barnes and Noble bookstore next door. Wound up sitting in there for a couple hours checking out books, drinking coffee, etc.

At one point I finished scanning the book I had, then decided to go check the sports section to see if there were any MMA or BJJ books - it was 2001, so it was slim pickings, but there were a few out there at the time. I actually found one, I think it was Renzo’s book. I start thumbing through it while standing there.

Well-dressed young dude rolls up on me and asks “Are you finding what you’re looking for?” Based on how he said it, I assumed he was a worker at the store, so I turned and smiled politely and said “I’m good.”

He smiles back, and then doesn’t leave. He eyeballs what I’m looking at. “Wow, what is THAT?” he queries. “Brazilian jiujitsu,” I tell him. “Been interested in it a while, but there aren’t many books on it.” He replies “Hmmm. Looks like wrestling, kind of?”

I start thinking to myself This bookstore employee is awfully chatty, but fuck it, I’ll be polite, I remember being told to talk up customers when I worked retail briefly as a teenager. I tell him a little bit about UFC and BJJ, and he steps closer as I talk. Again, my gaydar is 100% defective, and I assume again he’s just being polite and trying to make a sale or something.

He stays there even after I finish my 30 second summary of UFC and so on, and he asks me if I do this stuff. I think Damn, dude is pushy and getting personal here, but maybe he’ll take the hint and leave and so I nod and say “Off and on for the last couple years, depending on how busy grad school is,” and I very pointedly turn away from him to refocus on the book.

He chirps, “Well, maybe one day you can show me some!”

I stop reading and freeze. The gaydar starts to beep, ever so faintly.

He continues “Would you like to go to coffee section and talk about this some more? It sounds really fascinating, and I’d like to get to know you better.”

The gaydar FINALLY starts screaming like a siren in my ear :stuck_out_tongue:

I unfreeze and say "Ummm…dude, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m here because my fiancee is next door getting her hair done and later her nails. I am literally getting married tomorrow.’

Dude did not skip a beat. “Well, that’s tomorrow. You sure you don’t want to keep your options open until then?”

holy fucking shit

“Um, no, I’m flattered, and I like my options the way they are.”

“You sure? It’s your last chance to get wild before you get hitched!”

As someone noted above, gay dudes are still DUDES, and they are horny as fuck and will not be easily denied when they have someone in their crosshairs, LOL. Dude would not back down even after multiple times telling him “no.”

20 years later my wife STILL thinks this is one of the funniest things she’s ever heard. She fucks with me on occasion and will drop the line “Do you want to keep your options open?” at restaurants and things like that…

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Oddly enough, two years earlier, when I had first met my fiancee, she and I went out in a group that was the two of us, two other girls that worked with her, and a buddy of mine. One of the girls with her was HOT as fuck but was a single mom and divorced at age 19, which cannot be a good sign in any universe. Massive perfect boobs, one of the best racks I have ever seen, though.

We go to a bar, and while we are there, we run into a couple of my students. I was in grad school, so I taught a couple classes to pay my tuition. One girl student got offended I was there, she was like “Why are YOU here? You’re a TEACHER!” like it was some moral outrage. I said “Look, you’re 18 or 19, I’m 26, it’s not like I’m 40 or something!” Pissed me off, LOL.

A male student came on by later. Let me tell you, this dude was a good looking dude. I joke with friends that for us straight guys, we can’t usually tell if a dude is good looking. Show us 100 guys, we’ll all likely agree one poor bastard looks like Quasimodo, one guy looks like prime Brad Pitt, and the rest are all jumbled in the middle. Well, this dude was like prime Pitt. He was in my stats class, and I swear when he walked in, every chick in the 50-student room turned and stared at him and drooled. Male model face, obviously lifted (and lifted heavy, dude was big and likely juicing), snappy dresser the works. Perfect 100% average in the class, too, dude was sharp.

Future fiancee’s titty-friend sees him and IMMEDIATELY starts hitting on him, doing everything but smashing her boobs in his face. Touching him, smiling and trying to get him to dance. No dice. Instead, he stays and hangs with me. He was cool, he said it was neat to see a teacher out being a normal person, etc., etc., which made me feel better after that first little bitch chastised me for being in a bar.

He asked me if I wanted a drink. I told him nah, it was cool, and besides, I might conceivably get in trouble if my department found out I was having students buy me drinks. He asked again a couple times over the next hour, I turned him down, we talked about sports and football and shit, and eventually we landed on UFC. He was a fan, but didn’t know anything about BJJ, so OF COURSE I ran my mouth about that for a while, and he was the perfect audience.

Meanwhile titty girl is getting highly pissed off that homeboy is ignoring her and she gets wasted, and I mean flat out wasted. She winds up throwing up on herself. My fiancee tells her “Honey, we have to get you out of that shirt,” meaning let’s go home and change. Oh no. She took it as a challenge. She takes her fucking top off in the middle of the bar. All 200+ dudes in that college bar ROAR and surge toward us. I genuinely thought I would be trampled. All three of us (me, my student, and my future fiancee) grabbed her and ran the fuck out. We get to my car and are about to get the hell out of dodge when the dude says “Hey, she can drive that drunk girl home if you want to hang some more.” as he says that while we’re both standing by the rear driver’s side door, his hand drops down and squeezes my ass.

holy fucking shit again. It was like the blinders were off my eyes. I stood straight up like I got shocked.

I told him “Sorry, man - A, I gotta take care of her, since I’m her ride and this is MY car, and B, I can’t mess with my students, and C, I’m kinda interested in that other girl.”

He smiled and backed off.

In the car I told my future fiancee what happened. She laughed her ass off. The drink girl screamed from the back seat, "I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

ROFL

But seriously, that was my first night out with the girl I would marry. Could have gone worse. :slight_smile:

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had a gay guy pinch my butt… but I was a gay bar.

Looks like some Dana White presents “New York Pizza in the sand”

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“One time this bald guy from Vegas wanted to fly me in from New Zealand on his dime because I talked shit about his boxing on the UG. He was some sort of fight promoter. He was Built Like a Faggot!”

-Squatdog

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One time when I was about yo have sex with a girl I felt something bulging from pelvic region. I ask her, “what is that?”

“I was born with a penis,” she said.

So we carried on to have hetero sex. I just kind of ignored the penor and it wasn’t horrible fuckstuffs.

Club owner approaches me at bar (in club) and takes his shirt off. Then, while dancing very gayly, asks if he can buy me a drink.

I say. "Dude, I’m not gay.

He says: “Good. I prefer straight guys.”

I’ve got more such stories. Used to freak me out that fags would hit on me. But the really depressing day was when I realized they’d stopped hitting on me.

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Bunch of inconsiderate assholes in here. Faggots need love too!

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YOU LOVED IT YA BIG OLE FAGGOLA. LOL LOL

OH SHIT WHERE DO I START.

I had a college professor hit on me big time. It was kool, he gave me a higher grade than I deserved. he hit on me by asking if I wanted to be in the Economics club, constantly hitting me up to talk about my grades lol. he also tried to get me to go to Europe with the Economics club lol.

I had two bosses both gay, one woman and one man hit on me. The dyke hit me up late friday afternoon. She showed me her flat tummy, she had been working out. She just started talking out loud about how she wanted some dick, some real dick, some special dick , not ordinary dick for the weekend. LOL. I just was like, welll err good luck. I stared at the wall until her burning eyes went away. She never mentioned it again.

I had a gay man boss, that started to flirt, then he asked me out, I told him no, he got pushy. I told him one more bullshit and I would be putting something in writing to his boss. It stopped and we stayed kool.

Dozens of others.

Over the years, any time I was in a work section with a gay, it was most often tumultuous. Got to where I could not fucking stand them. always bullshit.

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Was working and in a company vehicle. Some guy walked over, commented that I was hot and offered a beej. I politely declined.

Some were huge disappointments. I got to know this guy that worked at the Cigar Lounge I went to. We got along like brothers. we agreed on most every thing. He played Football at PITT.

he comes up one day and asked me if I would train him, and that he was going to play at the annual Alumni vs Underclassman game in the spring. It turns out he wanted more kinds of training than he needed to play spring ball.

So I stopped going in. what a shame, he was a kool mother fucker. But also a big ass gay bear mother fucker tooo, lol.

The shit used to bother me. Like the guy above stated, it stopped when I got older. lol. no more ego boost.

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