You’ve been forewarned:
So in January of this year, my daughter experienced a trauma while at one of her mother’s friends house (staying the night with her daughter), which led to a suicide attempt and hospitalization. She took some pills before leaving my house to go back to her moms. That kept me from leaving the state for law school. And that’s fine.
Fast forward to recent times and her step father and her are butting heads, she’s expressed a desire to come stay here because her mother and her also aren’t getting along. To which I finally caved and said that I would need to talk to her counselor first before making any further advances in this endeavor. Talked to counselor who not only agreed it would be best, offered to write a documented letter to the courts shall it end up there, but recommended I try to do so without dragging our daughter through that. So I did.
All of a sudden my ex lets our 14 year old have Snapchat, a long agreed upon “no-no”, signs her up for sports camps, takes her out for ice cream, cries about me “taking her daughter away.”
Luckily, my kid says she sees through it, and knows she will go back to how she was (makes her watch her other two kids, allows her current husband to treat our child like shit, mean, heartless). So she video records (with my wife, while I was busy getting slapped by pre-teens on video games like a man bitch) a phone call where the ex spends 27 minutes lying/talking shit about me to my child.
Now she’s a teen, she in confused and doesn’t know how to handle all this. I won’t bad mouth her mom, even though I know it could sway her in the direction of standing up to her mom who has bullied and manipulated her into staying there (brought her sister and mom over to tell my daughter how horrible switching schools is because they all tried to).
Do I tell my kid what a piece of shit her mom is? Every fiber of my being is saying not to. I addressed each and every lie that her mom spewed to her on that phone call. But never once did I reciprocate the bad mouthing.
Do I let her mom get her way? This seems hard to swallow as I know what she’s done to manipulate my child into getting it. It would likely be the least stress in the short term on my kid, but in the long run, she’s going to eventually end up right back here wanting to live here.
I’m stressed dudes. Super stressed. I don’t want to get an attorney because if the day it comes time to say where she wants to live, her mom pulls some manipulative shit on her and she says with her mom, then there goes all my savings down the drain. Don’t get me wrong, if it all went well it would be money well spent but this woman is so conniving, such a subhuman piece of shit (I can say that here right? Because I can’t say it around my kid). This has been all about her, about me “trying to take away my daughter”, never once about what would be best for her. I offered to let her keep child support and try a change in environment for a year without it being anything legal and she says “so now you’re threatening me?”