You pretty much described my approach.
As posted in OP, my intent was law school, my under grad was a social work program though, and am currently getting my MFT (masters in marriage and family therapy), so I know the textbook approach, I just wonder if there’s been experience with being a little more upfront.
Update to this, my daughters mom called her and the daughter put it on speaker phone and told her what she felt and wanted. Then gold came, ex wife said “you…”. Let me re-emphasize, “YOU turned our world upside down” twice, essentially blaming her for her trauma. When my daughter called her on it, she said “I did not say that! I said what happened to you…”
Unfortunately, there were two adults who also heard it and again, it was recorded so verified. But the kid got to see just how irrational her mother is with the nonsense she’s bringing up, like “he didn’t put a seatbelt on you as a kid in the car.” Which, the kid knows to be false because we literally just talked about “When you start driving, what is the first thing you do?” (Answer- buckle seat belt). More concise, I’m a seatbelt Nazi, and always have been.