What's something stupid you've said/thought you knew but was completely wrong?

When my son was born I looked at the nurse and with a straight face I asked her

“About how long will it be until his eyes open?”

As if he was a damn pup

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“I didn’t know she was 16!”

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SN definitely checks out

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I was driving the posted speed limit, sir.

Everything.

-signed OG libs.

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I didn’t realize that the little tab on rear view mirrors is to switch them into night mode so you don’t get glare from the cars headlights behind you until I was close to 30.

Trust me

I don’t know if I ever said anything wrong purposefully knowing it but I have said stuff and found out I was wrong later …which sucks.

“Hey now, you’re a porn star, get your game on, get laid”

“Fuck-a-me like that…” (real lyrics: if I could be like that.

“I’ll only put the tip in”

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Its ok I dont have hpv.

Was dealing with a customer who credit wise never paid anyone back in here life, fresh out of bankruptcy but you know wanted some crazy expensive suv so I said good luck with your 560 credit score hahahaha! She wasn’t happy!

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I’m sorry

it wasn’t until I was 16-17 that I realized Rhode Island was an actual State

i went through life thinking Rhode Island was part of Massachusetts, like how Long Island is part of New York

i didnt realize until my 20s that women have a separate pee hole from their main naughty fuck hole

God.

Wasting away in Margaritaville looking for my log shaker saw.

When I was in the 6th grade, my mom overheard me saying something about the tooth fairy and she said “the tooth fairy is actually real” I said “yeah right” and she said “no, she is, we just call her up when your tooth is lost”. I was like, well I guess it’s like some kind of misunderstood medical service, they must need the teeth for research or something, but I do understand it’s not a “fairy” in the literal sense. My mom didn’t bullshit me ever, so I had no reason to doubt her.

Cut to a year later in junior high, someone is fucking around and mentions the tooth fairy. I’m like “actually, did you know the tooth fairy is actually real?” and before I could explain the professional nature of the tooth collecting business, I was mercilessly mocked by an entire crew of 7th grade boys.

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