Which Wish Would You Rather Have?

Here are your choices

1. You can bang any celebrity you want but you need them to agree to meet you for coffee. Once they drink a cup of coffee (or any drink) with you, they will want you to have bad bad naughty sex with them.

Once charmed, they become infatuated with you and will not leave you alone. Borderline stalker behavior, showing up under your desk at work to blow you. It really fucks things up when they want to bang in public places. You may get arrested for lewd behavior.

This power lasts for 5 years. However, the power only works on the island of Hawaii. If you leave the island, the girl instantly is disgusted by you for life. She will literally bite your dick off once you cross into the pacific time zone. Also you can't marry them.

2. You inherit an uncle who owns a major airline and will allow you to fly for free all around the world, any time you wish.

The only catch is that when you travel you must dress up like a hot dog wherever you go. You will become famous world wide as a guy called "The Hot Dog Man." You also earn one dollar every time you tell a stranger, "Ketchup mustard in the can. Everyone loves the hot dog man."

If you wear regular clothes while on a trip, your uncle disowns you. This wish lasts five years.

3. The power to instantly teleport anywhere in the world. The only issue is that every time you teleport you become one degree uglier. Thus by the time you teleport 100 times you will look exactly like Ron Howard's scary ugly brother.

Example, you leap once, you have one of Clint Howard's funky teeth. You leap twice and you have his funky tooth and hairy belly button. Leap 5 times surprise you're a ginger red head with freckles. Phone Post 3.0

  1. Sage Northcutt Phone Post 3.0

1 easy. My life goal is to be back on the big Island, growing coffee (and other crops) and never leaving anyway. Phone Post 3.0

  1. Jinx doesn't make 20 threads a day. Phone Post 3.0

LMAO at "she will literally bite your dick off once you cross the pacific" and "you have to dress like a hot dog".

Im already ugly, so I will take 3.

Didn't read everything but the hot dog thing is actually hilarious. Phone Post 3.0

Lmao @ 2! 1 could be fun for a year ... Not 5. Phone Post 3.0

Wow. This is one of your best in a long time.

I'd take 2 and fly to some crazy busy place like times square and keep repeating the hot dog chant until I had a few million dollars saved up. Then hire a hitman to kill my uncle.

Yeah, I'm considering number 2 for the money making prospect, but that could likely drive you crazy trying to make any real money with it.

I'd use number 3 to make money in some way and lay on a pile of money every night as I cry my ugly self to sleep.

3; here is my plan

Find a place with a huge stash of large diamonds; teleport twice - once to get in, once to get out.

Sell some diamonds, use money to get corrective surgery for the 2 degrees of ugliness I gained

Use more money from diamonds to buy my own airplane, thus negating need for #2

with diamonds, money and my own plane, no need for Hawaii confined fellatio from stalking celebrity; I will just hire a couple stewardesses and get fellatio as I travel around in my plane.

Misedukatd - #3; here is my plan

Find a place with a huge stash of large diamonds; teleport twice - once to get in, once to get out.

Sell some diamonds, use money to get corrective surgery for the 2 degrees of ugliness I gained

Use more money from diamonds to buy my own airplane, thus negating need for #2

with diamonds, money and my own plane, no need for Hawaii confined fellatio from stalking celebrity; I will just hire a couple stewardesses and get fellatio as I travel around in my plane.

You forgot to use some of that money to buy your own sexy hotdog costume.

Take #1

pick Taylor Swift or whatever new celeb has the biggest name at the time. Get the biggest most innocent celeb you can get over personal favorite. One you'd never think was a filth pig. Lace the house up with hidden cameras... Buy a luchador mask....




The masked avenger is now making millions off Taylor Swift Sex tapes volume 1-50. Phone Post 3.0

CuddleBug - 
Misedukatd - #3; here is my plan

Find a place with a huge stash of large diamonds; teleport twice - once to get in, once to get out.

Sell some diamonds, use money to get corrective surgery for the 2 degrees of ugliness I gained

Use more money from diamonds to buy my own airplane, thus negating need for #2

with diamonds, money and my own plane, no need for Hawaii confined fellatio from stalking celebrity; I will just hire a couple stewardesses and get fellatio as I travel around in my plane.

You forgot to use some of that money to buy your own sexy hotdog costume.

like I don't already have one

JJitsu - Take #1

pick Taylor Swift or whatever new celeb has the biggest name at the time. Get the biggest most innocent celeb you can get over personal favorite. One you'd never think was a filth pig. Lace the house up with hidden cameras... Buy a luchador mask....




The masked avenger is now making millions off Taylor Swift Sex tapes volume 1-50. Phone Post 3.0

I like the cut of your jib

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.....in the can, baby!

You could clean up making a travel series on YouTube with #2. Id go with that one. Phone Post 3.0

1 is pretty tempting, but Im sure my wife and kids would be kinda pissed, sooooo I gotta go #2. As long as I have my return ticket, Id ditch that fucking suit and have a sweet free vacation.

Also, how the fuck do you inherit an uncle?

BathSaltFaceFeeder - #1 is pretty tempting, but Im sure my wife and kids would be kinda pissed, sooooo I gotta go #2. As long as I have my return ticket, Id ditch that fucking suit and have a sweet free vacation.

Also, how the fuck do you inherit an uncle?
Like maybe you didn't know you had a rich uncle until one day your mom is like surprise I had another brother all along. Phone Post 3.0

2

Can't risk a bitten off dick and I like hotdogs. Phone Post 3.0