Why Are Lawyers Such Dumbasses

I have been dealing with these dumbasses for a couple of years. It is a probate matter where a family member stole some money on a technicality.

So I tell these fucks what I want done. I pay them big money, and all I get is bullshit.

They tell me that the judge does not want to hear these type of cases. bla bla. I tell them I don't give a fuck what the judge wants to hear. I tell them I may not be able to win the case, but I want to bring it to keep this fuckhead from stealing again. I also want to sue his fucking ass to deplete his money, so he cant sue me. its tactical. Its art of war shit.

I can talk to a lawyer 5 days apart and its like I never spoke with him. I paid this mother fucker for several hours of his time at several hundred dollars an hour to read the trust documents, and he does not know shit. I have to tell him what the docs say.

I tell him to send documents to opposing counsel certified registered because they claim they didn't get them , or they lost them previously. Its like talking to a retarded kid. They cant grasp simple shit.


I told this one lawyer several times that we are dealing with a piece of shit. a real jailbird with a significant criminal history for all kinds of shit. I told him that the guy steals whenever he can. he tells me" shame on you" . I tell him him do you not listen? The guy is a family member, but he is a piece of shit, and needs to be treated as such when dealing with legal matters.

So I ask this mother fucker for a referral for a litigator. I tell him him I want somebody that kicks ass. I don't want a mediator or a counselor. he gives me a name for this bitch lawyer who he states is ruthless. I do some checking and the "ruthless killer" lawyer is a part time lawyer who runs a goat farm. WTF! She hasn't won a trial in her life.

lol @ the goat farm.

Change lawyer. That level of service is not good enough IMO.

BTW I've been on both sides of this fence and I came across plenty of idiotic clients who think the law is just like on tv and that they know what is best when in reality they don't know shit.

Time to make a switch. Why are you still using this fuck head Phone Post


whats a good way to find a good lawyer? I fired one. I found these two guys through a high school friend who is a judge. It seems like I am not getting good referrals. its like Im getting some dudes friend, but who is really not worth a shit.

its not a huge estate. that's the first thing these people ask. How big of a trust/estate is it. how much money is it?

It seems that nobody has a sense of justice and wants to scrap. WTF , Im paying good money and on time everytime.

Martindale Hubbell a good source. im at a disadvantage because it is a small town and I live 400 miles away. the adversary is wrapped up in local politics.

I have extended every courtesy to these lawyers. I have ignored missed deadlines, and non returned phone calls. I told them to bill me for the phone calls, I don't mind paying . But it is like I have to repeatedly call them to have a chat or get a question answered.

Im thinking of going down and spending a couple of days in that probate court. maybe ask some courthouse people who is good.

the word of mouth shit has not worked worth a shit.

They probably think you've got a bullshit case and have told you this in various ways but you aren't taking the
hint.

In my experience lawyers (and former lawyers) generally don't give good referrals, though there are exceptions. They either to keep your business for themselves - even if they aren't ideally suited to the job - or they throw bones to their buddies who will in turn bones back.

I'm not sure how the system works in your area but I would try and find some sort of ceritifed expert/specialist in probate law and if possible negotiate a free first consult to see if you're on the same page.

banco - They probably think you've got a bullshit case and have told you this in various ways but you aren't taking the
hint.


This. 



The lawyer you are talking to doesn't want to take your case, and he doesn't want to refer your case to any of his lawyer friends because he thinks the case is a dog.  So the lawyer referred you to a goat farmer.



You've mentioned the estate doesn't have a ton of money in it, and that this is basically a case of some criminal loser stealing money from relatives.  It may be surprising to you, but that's not a real attractive case for most lawyers to get involved with.  Most have something better to do than bring a clusterfuck like that in front of a judge.



Unfortunately, the only lawyer that is going to be interested in taking this kind of a low-stakes, family squabble is a probably going to be a part-time goat farmer.

You want to get a local attorney, at the very least to by "of counsel" so as to avoid or minimize getting "home cooked" as we call it. Phone Post 3.0

What was this "technicality" which allowed the family member to steal from the corpus of the trust? Have you tried getting law enforcement involved? Malfeasance is criminal. Phone Post 3.0

hard to find a good one, its like 1 out of 5 are worth a fuck or at least partnered with someone who is worth a fuck. Law degrees are easy to obtain for people good at studying

100% chance that OP lawyer is NOT jewish

get your self a real mensch

Expects justice out of the legal system; calls lawyers dumb.

Calls lawyers dumbasses, yet stays with one who he thinks sucks. Good call.

Find some legal aid clinic to help you. Experienced lawyers generally don't take cases that aren't worth their time. You'll get an inexperienced, but semi-passionate person. Phone Post 3.0

I remember when I had court the judge was going off making a speech on how lawyers were mostly beggars. I lol'd on the inside.

Lurken - I have been dealing with these dumbasses for a couple of years. It is a probate matter where a family member stole some money on a technicality.

So I tell these fucks what I want done. I pay them big money, and all I get is bullshit.

They tell me that the judge does not want to hear these type of cases. bla bla. I tell them I don't give a fuck what the judge wants to hear. I tell them I may not be able to win the case, but I want to bring it to keep this fuckhead from stealing again. I also want to sue his fucking ass to deplete his money, so he cant sue me. its tactical. Its art of war shit.

I can talk to a lawyer 5 days apart and its like I never spoke with him. I paid this mother fucker for several hours of his time at several hundred dollars an hour to read the trust documents, and he does not know shit. I have to tell him what the docs say.

I tell him to send documents to opposing counsel certified registered because they claim they didn't get them , or they lost them previously. Its like talking to a retarded kid. They cant grasp simple shit.


gawd you sound like the worst kind of client.  There's nothing I hate more than hearing, "but its the principle of the thing."  That statement is always uttered by idiots who want you to abuse the legal system to help them get revenge.  Here's how lawsuits work for good attorneys.  You have a case that involves protection of your rights or pecuniary interests.  You pay me to protect those rights, or I take a cut of your judgment/settlement.  Everyone's happy, everyone has a clear economic motive, the case settles or goes to trial based on sensible economic principles of profit and loss.  Your case on the other hand drags out forever, while you constantly bitch about money, call me all the time about irrelevant shit, refuse to pay for those calls, act entitled to free legal services, and never want to settle even for very reasonable offers.  Somehow that is always the principle of the thing.  well fuck you and fuck the principles of your things.



I have ethical duties that I take very seriously.  I simply won't bring a frivolous case regardless of what the client wants to do.  I won't sue someone just to cost them legal fees because I took an oath not to do that.  You can't offer a good lawyer enough money to get sanctioned and lose his reputation for your idiotic need for conflict.  sorry, but I wish you nothing but the worst of luck in finding a scumbag attorney to help you abuse the legal system.  

Sounds like same problem here my dads lawyer is way out of his league the old fart is afraid of court and probably should just stick to signing mortgage type papers. Phone Post 3.0

I have not been overly impressed with the attorney's I have dealth with over the years. The thing is they likely have a lot of clients and it's hard to keep all everything straight from each of them. Chances are you are not their most important client. So I get your frustration nad you're not the first person to feel that way.

That said I'm not sure I agree with your art of war stuff. Why bring a case if you can't win? You may be depleting his money but you'll be depleting your own as well. The best way to stop this person from stealing again is to make sure everythig is in order so they can't steal on another technicality. It almost sounds to me like this person did something within the law that you don't agree with so you have decided to sue them just for spite?

ceiling_cat - 
Lurken - I have been dealing with these dumbasses for a couple of years. It is a probate matter where a family member stole some money on a technicality.

So I tell these fucks what I want done. I pay them big money, and all I get is bullshit.

They tell me that the judge does not want to hear these type of cases. bla bla. I tell them I don't give a fuck what the judge wants to hear. I tell them I may not be able to win the case, but I want to bring it to keep this fuckhead from stealing again. I also want to sue his fucking ass to deplete his money, so he cant sue me. its tactical. Its art of war shit.

I can talk to a lawyer 5 days apart and its like I never spoke with him. I paid this mother fucker for several hours of his time at several hundred dollars an hour to read the trust documents, and he does not know shit. I have to tell him what the docs say.

I tell him to send documents to opposing counsel certified registered because they claim they didn't get them , or they lost them previously. Its like talking to a retarded kid. They cant grasp simple shit.


gawd you sound like the worst kind of client.  There's nothing I hate more than hearing, "but its the principle of the thing."  That statement is always uttered by idiots who want you to abuse the legal system to help them get revenge.  Here's how lawsuits work for good attorneys.  You have a case that involves protection of your rights or pecuniary interests.  You pay me to protect those rights, or I take a cut of your judgment/settlement.  Everyone's happy, everyone has a clear economic motive, the case settles or goes to trial based on sensible economic principles of profit and loss.  Your case on the other hand drags out forever, while you constantly bitch about money, call me all the time about irrelevant shit, refuse to pay for those calls, act entitled to free legal services, and never want to settle even for very reasonable offers.  Somehow that is always the principle of the thing.  well fuck you and fuck the principles of your things.



I have ethical duties that I take very seriously.  I simply won't bring a frivolous case regardless of what the client wants to do.  I won't sue someone just to cost them legal fees because I took an oath not to do that.  You can't offer a good lawyer enough money to get sanctioned and lose his reputation for your idiotic need for conflict.  sorry, but I wish you nothing but the worst of luck in finding a scumbag attorney to help you abuse the legal system.  




I never said its the principle of the thing. ya low rent bumpkin ticket prosecutor. you are truly the bottom of the totem pole of lawyers.

this cocksucker scoops in to the old mans life a few months before he dies and tells him he needs to make amends for some things he did to jr when he was a kid.

the old man signs over a nice bank account to him pod. Slides it right out of the estate and will just like that. Shazam. old man tells everyone that jr is taking care of his funeral expenses and everything else after his death. 3 days after the old man dies, jr says daddy wanted me to have this money , fuck you all.

these so called lawyers tell me I dont have an undue influence case, without a smoking gun. such as give me the money or i wont give you your medicine old man.

Any lawyer can win a slam dunk case. i told them the case is shit. Any reasonable person would know this should be addressed in the court system, so that A BLOWTORCH AND BALL PEEN HAMMER DONT GET INVOLVED!

its what we have a court system for. so that people dont get killed over shit like this.

My money is as good as anyone elses. if I pay these mother fuckers they need to do their job. all i get is blah blah and shine on and lawyer bills.

And if you dont like dealing with family matters, dont become a probate lawyer. nothing worse than a mother fucker that does not want to do his job. if you dont want to try cases, dont be a fucking lawyer. if you dont want to fight fires, then dont be a fireman. if you dont want to arrest people and deal with scum, dont be a cop. if you dont want to cut boards, dont be a fucking a carpenter, Gawd dayumit.