Rape him in front of the family. 
Zero patience for these kind of people.
does anyone in the entire family like him at all? doesn't sound like they should, so why don't all you guys get together and agree to cut him out of all family functions? i think every family has one, but we don't tolerate the one in ours.
TFK_Bro Lo El Cuñado - You love dick. We all know it. ;-)The og delivers.
First reply nails it
When you find him alone, walk up calmly and slap the shit out of him brutally. Then tell him never to fuck with you or your family again. Walk in as if nothing happened.
Clifton_Santiago - does anyone in the entire family like him at all? doesn't sound like they should, so why don't all you guys get together and agree to cut him out of all family functions? i think every family has one, but we don't tolerate the one in ours.Yeah he is tolerated because the family is all kind of assholes that put each other down constantly. But while I can tolerate the others, he is like the super asshole of the bunch.
The rest of the family are an acceptable amount of douche bag. I would give them a 4 out of 10. He is the only "in ya face" douchebag. 10 out of 10, Andy Dick kind of douchebag.
Right now he just posted a pic of an NFL draft pick on my feed and the guy has long hair. The caption reads "my favorite hair of the draft"
He's just jealous because he's a bald fat fuck. I feel like respondong but will just cause more issues.
Ridgeback -Dude when I finally snap it will be over for him and I'll never be invited anywhere ever again by anyone.
What law says you can't take your bro-in-law to the woodshed?
OP is clearly terrified of Dick.
That's my fear.
I'm trying to be diplomatic and patient but 10 years gone and I have ran out of patience.
You need a catchphrase. My suggestion: fuck you, Dick. Go blow a monkey.
Everytime he puts someone down say that.
Either he will stop, or you will not have to be around hin anymore.
Win, win.
he obviously knows he gets under your skin and probably loves it. You just need to find the thing that gets under his skin and beat it to death until he gets pissed.
Dont get mad get even
When he say's stop you say "no Dick, stop being a jerkoff first and I'll stop jerking off also, otherwise I'm going to blow and it will be messy for both of us.
or scalp him.
GuttyProfessor - When you find him alone, walk up calmly and slap the shit out of him brutally. Then tell him never to fuck with you or your family again. Walk in as if nothing happened.100% this, it may not be feasible in your situation but sounds like a good idea
Sounds like the only way this Dick will learn his lesson is by force. In all seriousness though I would fuck him up. Sounds like he has a huge ego that needs to be put in check. Nothing hurts an egomaniac like a good ass whooping.
Can we get some Dick pics?
Tell him, how about a small boxing fight before the big fight. Then lay have out
He made fun of your daughter for crying and wouldn't let up? Not just a small tease?
If so, I would have made him cry in front of her.
panic686 - He made fun of your daughter for crying and wouldn't let up? Not just a small tease?I missed that part.
If so, I would have made him cry in front of her.
I would fuck him in front of everyone
Do it like us mescans do.... take it our outside so the neighborhood can watch a live fight.... after the pac mayweather fight of course.
some cool name - Maybe try to get him so upset that he has a stroke.
Cmon. Give that dick a stroke!
This should not go unappreciated
The only option is to go balls deep in him. Be a man, dammit!
I picture this taking place in baston