Wombat's UFC 87 Predictions

Lately, the UFC has been choosing names for their events that sound like extra-strength laxatives. They've gone with "Breaking Point", "Rapid Fire", "Knockout" and "Pride of a Champion" just to name a few. If that doesn't sound like the sort of thing to loosen up your road-blocked bowels, then I don't know what's wrong with you. Now they've got one on the calendar called "Breakthrough". Either I'm crazy, or someone in the Zuffa marketing department needs to add more prunes to their diet.

Although "Seek and Destroy" also fits into that idea nicely, it also happens to be the name of a Metallica song, which has me wondering if that was an accident. Maybe Dana White saw Megadeth at the Affliction show and was so consumed by jealously, he immediately hired Metallica lead singer James Hetfield as a marketing consultant (because it would've been a bad idea to put him in charge of pyrotechnics). If there is a show down the road called "Kill 'em All" we'll know for sure. Of course, given that the UFC seems to be generating these ideas by spinning a wheel covered in machismo sounding movie names and rock albums, it's just as likely that upcoming events could be called "Razor's Edge", "Lethal Force" or "Hall of the Mountain King" which, by the way, is a kick-ass song by Savatage.

Georges St. Pierre vs. Jon Fitch

I haven't spoken with a single person who thinks Fitch can win this fight. Considering the killing spree that Fitch has been on lately, that is a huge compliment to St. Pierre, who has once-again reached such a God-like status, comic book nerds around the world are locked in serious debates about how he would fare against Spiderman, The Hulk and Wolverine. Of course, that is madness since GSP could go through Tobey McGuire, Edward Norton and Hugh Jackman in a single 5-minute round and still have enough time left over to whip Christian Bale's bat-ass as well. Running with that analogy, Fitch would look a lot like Wolverine if you put some gel in his sideburns and gave him two fist-fulls of cutlery. Does GSP look like Professor X? Maybe. Still, Fitch may need mutant healing powers after this fight. Everyone saw St. Pierre out-wrestle Josh Koscheck, and if Fitch can't do any better he could end up befalling the same fate as his team-mate, who found himself manhandled by a hairless French-Canadian with the strength and balance of a gorilla. A little bird told me that Koscheck's wrestling isn't nearly as good as Fitch's but I think that's just a sign of schizophrenia. Talking birds? That's just stupid. My guess: Georges St. Pierre by decision.

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