worst trip to vegas... FML

Hey guys,

Thought I'd share my trip to Vegas as it was a huge mess and I'm sure a lot of you will enjoy laughing at me. Here goes:

It started out when I was at work and my buddy shows up to me and said "seb, I need my best wing man to come to Vegas with me for operation bang that round piece of ass from PU10 ( a department at work)". My initial reaction was "lol what?! Dude, she's not gonna fall for that, besides, she's fucking this big arm dude that'll wreck your shit up if he ever knows you brought her to fucking Vegas? L O L wtf are you thinking?" Well then he filled me in on some garbage about how this chick is wild and they've been taking about getting away from their lives and shit. I didn't give a fuck about that, I wanted to know how much are the tickets and is this worth it? "Tickets are on me" he said, "I owe you big for the deck you built me and this is my way of showing you how much I love ya". LOL what a fucking idiot I thought, I only did half the work and was drunk most of the time. "Alright, I'm in brother".

Things were pretty awkward from the start, she didn't even introduce herself to me and in my brain she was still "round ass from PU10". It didn't take long for me to realize that my services as a wing man weren't going to be needed and that I've practically was just there so that people at work saw this as a group of friends going out to Vegas.

Yea right. These 2 mother fuckers were all over each other and not giving a single fuck about what was going on around them. I'm talking about grabbing asses all day long in public or while waiting in line at the restaurant. Making out everywhere including on the fucking auto roll up stairs. Hooking up next to / on top of the coin machines. I mean FUCK why spend that money on tickets and not just rent a fucking room at the local motel. But round ass from PU10 just kept babbling on about how life was so free and joyful around her dreamy companion and how she's never felt so alive blah blah blah shut up slut, I want in your ass too.

When we first unpacked at the hotel, I noticed immediately that my dead light bulb of a friend only booked us 1 room for this trip. Well, I was glad to find out that there was 2 beds. I told myself I'd hang out and about later than usual while they'll be taking care of business and in the meantime if I get to score some pussy then great, if not, I have a bed to go back to. Well I'm sorry to disappoint OG but I didn't fucking score any pussy. I'm no smooth talker and I found it particularly hard to approach all these packs of wolves.

Heading back to the hotel, I made sure to make extra noise with the swipe card before opening the door and was temporary delighted to see both of them asleep in the same bed with 1 bed free, but with messed up blankets, left for me. They probably fucked in it, who cares I'm drunk, I want a bed.


THAT MOTHER FUCKING BED WAS FILLED WITH PEE!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!! I was actually concerned at that point that round ass from PU10 would be needing paramedics because she would surely soon suffer death from mother fucking dehydration!! After making a scene, my friend turns around and says "oh, yea.. dude you're probably gonna want to sleep on the floor.. take these good blankets, they're pretty fat".

Unfortunately for me, that wasn't the end of it. I woke up to my friend's balls walking over my face after his dumbass tripped on me while I was sleeping on the floor. And then I had to experience the weird feeling of getting aroused by round ass from PU10 getting off and moaning in the shower while hearing my friend's ballsack ram up against her thighs FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP.. FUCKKKKKKK

After the morning fuck fest, I had to approach them and tell them "hey come on guys, at least take care of business when I'm not fucking 5 feets away you know and PLEASE leave me a good bed you know". The message was well received and from that point on, they took care of their business while I wasn't around and I had a good bed for the rest of the time. wow.. just, wow.

Finally, I gotta give it up to my buddy, he certainly got every piece of round ass from PU10 he wanted. That mother fucker even had his fingers all up in her snatch for the whole trip back on the plane. I wouldn't want to be the person taking her seat for the next flight.


Tell her boyfriend. Think about us, fren! Phone Post 3.0

Did he at least let you get a taste of his fingers? Phone Post 3.0

Funny? No fuckin picks of pu-10? Phone Post 3.0

Pics dude, goddamn. Phone Post 3.0

I await your memoirs!

The Third Wheel: Vegas for free!

Best case scenario, what did you think was going to happen?

Hocky Balboa - Did he at least let you get a taste of his fingers? Phone Post 3.0
Or a sniff?

My buddy did that once to me on a drive home. I'm driving along and he throws two fingers under my noise and I almost jerked the wheel into a ditch on the I5. Scared the fuck out of me. Smelled like he finger jacked a big mac. Wtf? Phone Post 3.0

Pics of roundass from PU10? Phone Post 3.0

StringerBell - Pics of roundass from PU10? Phone Post 3.0
. Phone Post 3.0

.... Phone Post 3.0

8/10 for good story! Phone Post 3.0

Lol @ "I want in that ass too".

Also, you should have just stopped on by my place. I always have a spare bed for another OGer. Amyl Nitrate and non-consensual buttseckz are included in the offer. And by "included" I mean "mandatory".

Ahem, please post pics, thanks. Phone Post 3.0

Great story.


Was this your first time in Vegas?

Where did you stay and why not just get a room at circus circus for 20 bucks?

Are you referring to the escalator when you say auto roll up stairs? That had me laughing. Phone Post 3.0

I just booked a room at the SLS for 69 dollars a night, Vegas isn't expensive to find a decent place. Why did you feel compelled to stay there? Why didn't you just find yourself a room and go solo and meet up with them at the airport.

In for pics Phone Post 3.0

Did you ever find out the story behind the pee? Phone Post 3.0

why did you not join in??????

24 hours later and still no pics of said "round ass".


You might be a beta for letting them run the room and not springing for your own room. Phone Post 3.0