The first thought I have every day I wake up. The second is…“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!” Third thought is “it’s fine”


I have that feeling every day also when I wake up next to your mom

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My first thought “fuck yeah… Coffee time bitch”

Then the realities of the day set in shit halfway through that cup of coffee and I think " shit… Here were go again"

Then about 3:30 I think hell yeah I’m almost done for the day. And then I find myself sitting at the computer until 5:30 - 6 working on shit that’s not even my responsibility. It amazes me how a few people kept their jobs in my company when so many great workers were laid off.

First thought of the day at 430 am: Get up, you fucking pussy.

My first thought is go back to sleep. Followed by someone disappointing me at work.

Nowadays I say that if I’m lucky enough to wake up with a hard on.