WTF Am I Doing?!?

From Reddit:

1. I took the metro home then realized I drove to work...that was a long night.

  1. Cup of coffee in left hand, phone in the right hand. Go to my room, take a sip of my phone and throw coffee on the bed.

  1. I dropped my pants when going through Transportation Security Administration....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...

    I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not that many people fly at like 430am.

  1. After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:

    Cashier: Hi, how are you?

    Me: Good, how are you?

    Cashier: I'm good, thanks.

    Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?

    That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.

  1. I pick up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but also had the urge to piss, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet.

  1. I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner. The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm an idiot.

Khun Kao - From Reddit:

1. I took the metro home then realized I drove to work...that was a long night.

Haha, that sucks.

I'll sometimes do that while driving, head towards a certain place when I'm supposed to go somewhere else.

  1. I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change.

Carefully placed keys in jacket pocket
Intentionally left jacket in truck because I don't want to forget it.
Locked truck because I had important shit in there. Phone Post 3.0

I'm using Joy Thief as many times as possible today. Joy thievery will not be accepted around these parts at all. Phone Post 3.0

  1. I just threw a knife in the garbage and washed some breadcrumbs.

  1. I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.

  1. Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "shit I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.

  1. Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved...was just zoning out.

  1. There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the fuck.

  1. Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.

    The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "Fuck, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.

  1. Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.

  1. I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good.

  1. When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep.

    So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.

  1. Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified.