Wyoming man found with 40 eyeballs up his butt!

CASPER, Wyo. –

Police saw an El Camino speeding and swerving down 144 S Ctr Street Thursday night and immediately pulled the car over. During a routine field sobriety test, the officer saw several eyeballs slide from the suspect's pant leg

onto the asphalt.
Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Roy Tilbott, 51, of Casper. Tilbott was quick to assure police that the eyeballs were not human, but instead harvested from cows. Tilbott said he had taken 30 cow eyeballs from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where he is employed as a meat cutter and smuggled them off the premises in his rectum.
"Company won't let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill," Tilbott said in the police report. "They're a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don't even have recycling at the plant."
Tilbott explained his actions: "I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired."

Tilbott admitted to police that he has been smuggling out eyeballs nearly every day for several months. "I put them in soups," Tilbott said. "They're beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste."

Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC nearly two times higher than the legal limit. Tilbott also had several large carving knives concealed under his seat, which police potentially believe to be stolen from Johnson Meats after Tilbott said he'd never seen them before.

Police are waiting to talk to Tilbott's employer before they potentially charging him with theft of the eyeballs and knives. Johnson Meats has not released a statement regarding the incident.

rather ominous

de braco -

rather ominous

You'd probably look ominous if you were drunk and had the eyeballs of fifteen dead cows shoved up your ass too.

I feel this has been posted before .... could there be two men smuggling cow eyeballs in their butt

I feel like if i really wanted to i could maybe smuggle one "baby carrot stick" amount of something valuable like diamonds or something.

How would someone get 30 eyeballs into their ass without help.

Well... he has a promising career in private eye work.

Ah, the old "cow eye up the brown eye" technique. You'd think he would've gone home and removed them before going out drinking

Tilbott wasn't feeling well and went to the proctologist, Dr. looks up his ass and says "I can't see anything.", Tilbott says, "Funny, I see you perfectly."

Sooo....... Either he was already shitfaced when he left work OR he stopped off at the bar for 8-10 cold ones on the way home WITH AN ASSHOLE FULL OF COW EYES.

Either way, I gotta respect his game here.

Not that it will stop the OG socialites from tooting their horns about how classy they are, but I just want to point out that if you've never eaten bovine eyeballs in shit sauce you're really not in a position to pass judgement.

yasssssss

FingerorMoon -

I feel this has been posted before .... could there be two men smuggling cow eyeballs in their butt

I have seen this on here, 100% sure.

Welp, he's gonna get a nickname when he goes back to work.

ABCTT_SENNIN - 
de braco -

rather ominous

You'd probably look ominous if you were drunk and had the eyeballs of fifteen dead cows shoved up your ass too.

Ok. This may be the funniest sentence ever spoken on the OG.

What's weird about this? 

stink eye

ummm viagra bro?

I bet that guy was a good father and his kids never got away with anything, after all, the guy's got eyes in the back of his ass!