Yet another "Caption This Pic" thread

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Your Honor, 

I am a professional Contortionist. I only was giving a private contortionist demonstration! The police arrested an innocent woman!!

Your honor, please allow me a moment to review my legal briefs.

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"The Ostrich Defense"

-Johnny Cochrane

“Not guilty”

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If the cock does not fit, you must aquit!

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"As you can see sir, the tattoo clearly reads exit only"

 

or

"As you can see sir, the tattoo clearly states "Open for business" so I should clearly fall under the guidelines of essential worker"

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I'd like to ass you a few questions...

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I would love to know the context of the photo.  I have a feeling that it could be more humorous than anything the OG could come up with.

lol already some good ones here...

The defense offers their reBUTTal...

You think federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison scares me? Bring it, bitch.

judge swanson is not impressed

“Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt...prrt.

You're royal heinass.

The defendant claimed "He liked big butts, and could not lie"

"Oof, that is a severe case of appendicitis".

 

"You can't hang out here mom, I will get in trouble with the boss again"

"Is that a babies hand?"

"Bush from tail bone to belly button, you Arab?"

 

 

Check out my habeus corpuss

I’ll fuck your till you love me, faggot