You Awake to Find...

... a room in shambles. The table has been overturned, the items that may have been once neatly placed on it in order now lay all about on the dirty wooden floor. Your head is pounded. By the sounds of the birds chirping outside and the few beams of light starting to pour in the room's only window, you can guess that it's early in the morning.

"What happened to me?" you ask yourself as you pick yourself off the floor.

Of the previous night's events, you can remember nothing.

You try to focus. There is a bed that did not fair much better than the rest of the room. It's straw coming out and spilling into a pool of water that must have been from the washing bowl being overturned.

"This isn't my room"

Your sword is gone, and you can feel tiny cuts all over your arms and chest.

Across the room is a closed door.

What do you do?

there are no chicks there

"what do you do?"....

i ask the jailer what i did to get put in prison?

might as well crank one out..

You lean with one hand on the overturned bed. Hunched over, you furiously start to flog your self. Sweat is flying. A bug lands on your face but you don't care. It takes longer than normal for you to finish.

You finish but don't bother to clean up. Why bother? You start to slowly walk to the door, the floor boards creaking loudly.

You slowly open the door. It, too, creaks like the dickens. The room the comes into view immmediately is a kitchen. There is a Gnome man that looks like he's making a cake. You take one more step but he hears you this time.

He turns around, "Hey, Sillybuns! You were great last night!"

Then it hits you: You went to market to sell your wares, traded some turnips for ale with this Gnome, both got drunk, then went back to his place.

You spent last evening getting ass raped by a Gnome.

...

I search for a secret doors...

All you find is Astroglide.

go north.....

you attempt to 'go north' to the apparent house's exit. The Gnome stops you and wants to cuddle.

cast "power word kill" on gnome and proceed north....

You cast your spell of Death on the gay Gnome. He falls limply with a thud.

Exiting into the awakening city you find that you're in the gay gnome district. The is the San Francisco of the Gnome world. You walk gingerly, a noticable limp.

"Gerbils," you think.

To your left is a road that leads to the marketplace.

i step over the gnome sized buildings.

You can't step over the houses;

you're just a human.

but i rolled my step over gnome house skill and was succesful