"You can't teach heart" = WRONG!

Taken from my Facebook post:

This is a great post from Michael Brown and something I agree with very strongly. There is a slogan in BJJ that is very popular these days "You can't teach heart" that I disagree with 100%. Overcoming adversity is most definitely a skill that can be learned and improved (just like armbars). Perhaps some people tend to come by this skill a little easier than others, but from my own personal experience and through my experience as a coach, I have seen PLENTY of situations where people who have started out on the meek end of the spectrum have since become ferocious competitors. (I'll refrain from posting their names here so as not to embarrass them, but you know you are because we have spoken about this and your journey has been a great source of inspiration.)

Another problem with the slogan "You can't teach heart" is that is sends the message that you cannot improve your skill to overcome adversity. What happened to all of the inspirational and various "BJJ teaches you to overcome adversity" slogans? Should we just pack up and go home because, in reality, we're all stuck as our current selves with no chance of improvement?

I have also heard people use the "you can't teach heart" idea as an excuse to quit and succumb to defeat: I once heard someone say: "You're born with it or you're not." As Mike says below, it is a choice. Of course the choice may appear to be written in stone if you don't properly prepare and train yourself, but that is true of most things.

You most definitely can learn / teach heart. As Mike says below: "I know because I was there."

tl;dr - "Heart" is a skill like any other than can most definitely be taught / learned.

Michael Brown's post:

I was listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast this morning and heard something that motivated me to write this post.
Joe was talking with a former Green Beret and one of the topics was mental toughness.
Both came to the conclusion that it was something you either have or don't have.
I disagree. Mental toughness is a trainable quality. You can become mentally tough IF YOU MAKE THE CHOICE.
I disagree because I've experienced it. I have conciously improved my mental toughness using jiujitsu as a vehicle.
First a few anecdotes:
I have felt numerous times what it's like to mentally break. I've quit in competition because it was the easiest road. It happened to me playing football and wrestling in both high school and college. I was a good athlete; But I was not mentally tough.
Bill Parcells once told the story of a gifted boxer named Eugene Hart who punished former middleweight champion Vito Antuofermo for five rounds before losing.
In the locker room Hart overheard Antuofermo telling his trainer that if Hart had hit him one more time in the body, he would've died.
Hart sobbed uncontrollably, not because he'd lost, but because he realized he was what Parcells termed a "game-quitter."
I know how Hart felt. I was a game-quitter too.
Winston Churchill was once asked to give a speech to the Royal Naval Academy regarding the tactics that won WW2 against a vastly superior adversary.
Churchill's speech was succinct:
"Never, ever, ever, give up."
It took me until my late thirties to become mentally tough but I did because I made the CHOICE to do so.
Competition Jiujitsu is the vehicle that took me there.
One of the drills I frequently use is referred to as "Bottom Man Shark Tank".
Essentially it is 3-5 fresh bodies rotating against 1 person who never gets to be on top for 10-20 minutes.
It is a good drill for working your guard but it's REAL purpose is to give you the opportunity to become mentally tough.
It's one of many drills or exercises designed for this purpose but the majority never really tap into what it can do for you.
After 4-5 years of consistently making the choice to not give up in the shark tank, I had brought my mind to the point that if I was beaten, it was only because my opponent was better NOT because I mentally broke. I would tap into the memory of the shark tank and know that since I didn't give up then, I don't have to give up now.
In 2013 I was in the absolute finals of the Masters World's in my category.
I had been taken down for the first time in any jiujitsu tournament and was losing 4-0 with thirty seconds left. I tapped into the shark tank experience and scored 5 points and won.
This year in the American Nationals, I got caught in submissions in both the semi-finals and the finals including two in the finals.
Again, I tapped into the memory of the shark tank and knew I didn't have to give up and won.
20 years ago I would have quit in such a situation; Jiujitsu gave me the opportunity to change that.
This experience has helped me in the rest of my life as well. I made the SWAT team at my agency at an age when most are leaving the team, I have had to deal with adversity personally and professionally and won.
I have become resilient. I am no longer a game-quitter.
So, with all due respect to Joe and his guest, you CAN train mental toughness and turn a game-quitter into a winner.
I know because I was there.
All I had to do was make the choice ahead of time.
Like Churchill said, "Never, ever, ever give up."

Had to find all my account login info just to log in and say, "Excellent Post!".

And I agree. At 41 I feel my "heart" is better than it ever has been.

VU!

I stopped reading at "I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast..."

HotSteppa - I stopped reading at "I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast..."
I agree. I like joe but he says things off the cuff that have a large impact on people listening. Phone Post 3.0

HotSteppa - I stopped reading at "I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast..."


Please continue to read because what Mike posted was in direct opposition to what Joe Rogan said.

Can't teach something doesn't equal can't learn or improve it. In Michael Brown's post, he mentions that HE made the CHOICE to become mentally tough and he says that you can make the choice to become mentally tough. Now, I understand that he was responding to a slightly different thing than you were. He was responding to them saying you have it or you don't, while you brought up the saying 'you can't teach heart'.

I feel like jiu-jitsu can 'teach' heart in a way, but heart isn't something that someone can teach another person how to have it. Like Brown said, the person has to make the choice to become mentally tougher.

I would agree heart can be improved like any other skill set. But I don't believe it can be taught. There are people that crumble at adversity and always will unless they challenged themselves constantly and sought out a therapist likely. Even after this the amount of pressure they could handle would be minimal.
But you're right. If you have a good coach they'll understand each individual's ceiling. Through proper training they'll be able to improve in any aspect. Phone Post 3.0

MB is correct. You either want it...or you don't. I remember reading a book about the SEALs in HS and one of the guy they interviewed was asked why he made it through. His response was "I quit stuff all the time in HS; sports, work, and school work. But I decided I didn't want to be a quitter anymore". No one thought he would make it...but he did. Because he wanted it.

LCSULLA - MB is correct. You either want it...or you don't. I remember reading a book about the SEALs in HS and one of the guy they interviewed was asked why he made it through. His response was "I quit stuff all the time in HS; sports, work, and school work. But I decided I didn't want to be a quitter anymore". No one thought he would make it...but he did. Because he wanted it.
 

 

Well, I agree that supports the point we're making because the person LEARNED via his life experience and then made a choice that he didn't want to be a quitter anymore. I've seen plenty of people who learned that they did not have to quit in situations where they previously would have. What made them change? Why did they decide to push a little harder and last a little longer? Experience taught them - i.e., they learned.

 

I had a really long post about this, but I quit writing it.

tjmitch - I had a really long post about this, but I quit writing it.


Quitter

You can change your beliefs about yourself which would improve heart Phone Post 3.0

wrong ,a good coach can bring it out, teach someone to believe in themselves ,but if you aint got it,it wont show up

Well, like I said in the OP, I think everyone has it to some extent. Perhaps some start BJJ with a bit more than others, but someone who is so utterly devoid of any confidence and any type of grit would probably be hiding in a closet somewhere and never venture outside never mind a BJJ class. Such a lost cause is probably desperately in need of professional psychological counseling, but that's not who we're discussing now is it? Admittedly anecdotal, but after being in BJJ for almost 18 years and running an academy for almost 12 years, I've seen too many come out of their shells for me to believe that "if you ain't got it, it won't show up".

I agree that you can teach heart. Spleen, on the other hand, is tough as hell to transmit. Phone Post 3.0

You can teach it, it just takes dedication to build the habit. Good post. Phone Post 3.0

I agree with TPK