I read this today, it is written by Jakusho Kwongroshi could apply to BJJ or anything really
CHOOSING TO LOOSE
To get to the heart of Zen, we must train and actively participate in loosing. Loss is a very important thing in Zen practice, beacause we normally try to avoid loosing at all cost. But with the training and practice that we have-long hours of sitting, working with people you don't like, living with people you may not like, eating things you don't like-we are working with loss. It's good to do it, to choose to do it. Every human being will go through loss, with or without training. But the training helps.
Active participation in loss is like being with the sceneries you se while riding the train. Being with them wholeheartedly, we don't fear them. We don't invite them, but we acknowledge them from the train as it runs down the tracks. It stays on track, and you stay onboard.
This loss is the eye of Zen- the active participation in loss. Real gain comes when you know how to lose, and have done so. If you are always thinking about gaining, you are sure to loose. If you are always thinking about losing, you'll probably loose too! [laughter] Better not to think in terms of either gain or loss.
Applicable to sports, school, life in general. Just not often thought about in the game of life. I have always said "you learn more from a loss than you do from a win" and it to me also shows how competition can be healthy. SOme just twist it the wrong way and rely upon the winning and glorification instead of the whole reason-the source of why they started the endeavor in the first place.