Free fight: 'Reem kicks Lesnar in the cancer

WWE superstar Brock Lesnar had the weirdest career in UFC history.

His first fight, at Dynamite!! USA, was advertised right up to the day of the event as being against Hong-Man Choi. But Choi couldn’t get licensed due to medical issues, so he was replaced with Min Soo Kim, a 1996 Olympics silver medalist in Judo and K-1 World Grand Prix 2006 finalist. The promoters knew about Choi’s licensing issues ten or eleven days beforehand but did not tell the public.

Afterward, Dynamite!! USA was announced as the largest attendance for an MMA in North America. CSAC confirmed that 42,757 tickets were distributed for the event. That was true, but it was also true that the promoters of the event paid $2,342,500 to buy 39,083 tickets. The verified paid attendance was 3,674.

Lesnar’s next fight was in the UFC, and he lost, to Frank Mir. After a decision win over Heath Herring, Lesnar got a title shot vs. Randy Couture, and won. All that took place in the year 2008.

Brock then successfully defended his title in a rematch vs. Frank Mir; that was his sole fight in 2009. And then Brock successfully defended his title vs. Shane Carwin, pushing his successful defenses to two, equalling the UFC record at the time.

In between those fights, Lesnar was diagnosed with diverticulitis, brought on by many years of only eating what he had shot.

Lesnar lost his title to Cain Velasquez on October 23, 2010, in the very first round, and had surgery on November 16 to close a perforation in his intestine that had been leaking fecal matter into his abdomen, causing pain, abscesses, and overtaxing his immune system to the point that he contracted mononucleosis.

Just over a year later, Lesnar came back vs. Alistair Overeem, on UFC 141 December 30, 2011. As a UGer unkindly but memorably put it, ‘Reem “kicked him in the cancer.” Lesnar lost at 2:26 of Round 1.

After the fight Lesnar said, "It felt like I got kicked by a horse."

Horse, horse meat, heh.

Lesnar then left the UFC, to return to the WWE for a reported $5,000,000 one year contract. 

Brock had one last fight, vs. Mark Hunt at UFC 200 on July 9, 2016. Prior to the fight, Hunto said he was certain Lesnar had been using PEDs.

Lesnar roundly denied the accusation.

“I've been dealing with that my entire life,” said Lesnar, as transcribed by the Daily Mail. “I'm a white boy and I'm jacked. Deal with it.

USADA has administered the UFC Anti-Doping Program since July 1, 2015; among other efforts, it subjects every fighter to random, comprehensive, out of competition testing for PEDs. If a fighter leaves the UFC and thus is no longer subject to testing, then upon return, there is a four-month period of PED testing required before the first fight. New fighters have no such restriction.

When Brock Lesnar decided to return, because he had not fought since 2011, years before the new PED policy was put in place, he was treated like a new fighter, and was not subject to the four-month test and waiting period.

When Lesnar did return, he was tested extensively. However, some of those test results came back after the fight had already happened. And Lesnar failed an anti-doping test for Clomiphene. He was suspended for one year by USADA, and his decision win over Hunt was changed to a No Contest. 

In an exclusive statement to the AP Lesnar vowed, "We will get to the bottom of this."

He hasn't, yet.

Methodgetsdramatic chipmunk or is it gif

1 Like

That's a dumb fucking thread title. 

Fuck off Kirik.

8 Likes

It was diverticulitis. Its no joke and nearly put me in a coma. Its not fucking cancer.

5 Likes

lol at the fags above crying about the paraphrasing in title

Go fix your makeup and cook me a steak you fucking pussy cunts

1 Like

I had the same surgery and it has nothing to do with cancer but whatever. 

datesaredeceiving -

I had the same surgery and it has nothing to do with cancer but whatever. 

Doesn’t it?

You mean the UG’r that is quoted wasn’t a doctor?

Holy fuck thanks for the heads up

Rabid Bunyip -

lol at the fags above crying about the paraphrasing in title

Go fix your makeup and cook me a steak you fucking pussy cunts

Kiss my stoma scar arsehole.

BubblesNS -
Rabid Bunyip -

lol at the fags above crying about the paraphrasing in title

Go fix your makeup and cook me a steak you fucking pussy cunts

Kiss my stoma scar arsehole.

Not my fault you had ass leprosy 

Cancer is nothing to joke about kirik.

2 Likes

Wasn't the phrase 'kicked him in the colon?'

Cancer not related to thread.

what a fight... unreal moment seeing those bohemeths clash

Rabid Bunyip -
BubblesNS -
Rabid Bunyip -

lol at the fags above crying about the paraphrasing in title

Go fix your makeup and cook me a steak you fucking pussy cunts

Kiss my stoma scar arsehole.

Not my fault you had ass leprosy 

Not my fault your an asshole.

Good synopsis + gif OP

Apologies to anyone offended. I am aware of the seriousness of cancer. Have less immediate experience with diverticulitis. Some UG coined the term "Kicked him in the cancer" and it stuck with me.

Crazy how he could have avoided all these issues simply by eating some veggies and fiber carbs. And not even a lot.

Kirik -

Apologies to anyone offended. I am aware of the seriousness of cancer. Have less immediate experience with diverticulitis. Some UG coined the term "Kicked him in the cancer" and it stuck with me.

Its ok. I shouldn't be so easily offended.

Sprawl'n'Stall - Crazy how he could have avoided all these issues simply by eating some veggies and fiber carbs. And not even a lot.

There is a strong genetic load to diverticulitis. It killed my grandmother and almost killed me even though we ate a normal diet.

Pun intended, buts its a shitty illness. I lost half a foot of colon. Been healthy since though.

i believe right after that fight aired live someone here made a thread:

right in the diverticulitis!