too right wmkelleo
be careful
losing can become a habit, just like winning
"I explained to him that he was not going to get the playing time on varsity that he would at jv, but the the coaching and practice experience would be better and he would benefit from that the following year."
generally speaking competition time is better than practise experience.
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His confidence isn't very high right now cause he never gets to train and win, it's just survival and a lot of rag dolling.
At the end of practice he often seems crushed mentally.
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i grew up playing tennis (worshipping Bjorn Borg :) and eventually reached pro level (2 consecutive injuries put me out) and played around 1500 competition
matches in total with about an 80% winning record. THE POINT BEING, when you have a lot of wins you start to think like a winner. when it got tough i hung in because
i thought the other guy would break, because i learnt most of them will and because many of them were defeated mentally before they even started.
when someone loses who is used to winning, they get over it quickly, and believe they can still beat the guy if they train harder, or try something different next time.
on the other hand this cant always be said about the guy who is used to losing particularly if it is embedded in their mind from an early age.
its important to learn about winning because an athlete is not a robot who can automatically turn from losing all of the time to winning all of the time just because the competition all of a sudden becomes weaker. dont get me wrong, losing is a crucial part of winning, but if you have the choice to develop a winning mind set vs getting pumped all of the time as your path to winning, i'd recommend the first choice.
also as a rule natural ability is more important than how hard someone works, providing the person wants to make it.
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Thanks a lot everyone. I got a lot of good advice.
To be honest yesterday I was about to just quit it all as the negative was outweighing the positive. I called the coaches and let them know as well per yalls advice. Honestly, that was something I should have done a while ago and maybe it would not have gone so far which is my fault. The thing is my boy trains wrestling and BJJ at different places but the same thing was going on at both. Adjustments will be made at both to give him more mat time with kids his size but he will just have to go light and practice technique.
Bluenoser,
My son loves wrestling and BJJ but was going through a bad time with it. The kid is driven like nothing I've ever seen and that's probably why he got pushed so hard.
I am tiny, a majority of the time I have to roll with the big boys, I find it helps technique immensly. Although there are times when weight does pla ya big advantage to the other guy.
Funny the way things work out.
I had to work this morning and after much deliberation let him go to a wrestling tournament (his 2nd ever). His wrestling coach really thought it would be good for him, I was honestly afraid if he didnt do well especially after what has happened it might be really bad for his psyche. The tournament was at Brandon FL, the same Brandon That had "The Streak" so there was going to be some real good kids there. My boy ended up winning his weight div and getting second in the next higher which was actually 10bs more than he weighed so ended the day 6-1 and all his wins were via pin.
I hope this might be able to help him see the big picture of how the big kids are really helping him. That said, Im going to make sure he rolls with kids his size too now.
Again, thanks everyone.
Congratulations to him then. The main thing is that he sees how it helps and also like has been stated here that he rolls with all sizes and levels of kids.
He's 10. Relax.
SO since some time has passed, how are things now with your son and training?
Congratulations to your kid! Just as long as you let him know the benefits of wrestling as well as other sports, support him in what he choses to do, and let him know there's no pressure coming from you then everything will work out just fine.
Stryfe - SO since some time has passed, how are things now with your son and training?
We just got back from practice, he was a new kid. I guess going to the tournament and competing against kids his own age and size just made him feel better about everything. Infact, today against the older kids he did a ton better and actually beat a couple of them.
Thanks for asking!
Can you post some vids of your boy. I would like to show them to my son, thanks!
Don't live your dreams through your child!
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Infact, today against the older kids he did a ton better and actually beat a couple of them.
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thats great
i think for success in sport
#1 Mental #2 Ability #3 Hard work
in the above order, but you need them all .
"Don't live your dreams through your child!"
yes its worth mentioning because being reminded of the basics never hurt anyone
but also remember that for a lot of sports stars, they wouldn't have done it without strong parent support.
so for a basic skills day, balance is the key :)
ianbulldog - Don't live your dreams through your child!
I would be perfectly happy if he wanted to do something else, trust me. It is a complete drag to sit through practices often and miss out on time with my wife and younger kids but he gets straight A's, does a lot of chores thus deserves more than a half assed effort on my part to help him do what he wants.
I also take him to guitar lessons which I completely hate, that aint my dream either.. Can I make him quit and use the excuse about it being my dream, please?:)
The only thing I do ask of him is to try at any practice cause every night I go that is time I don't get to spend with his 2 brothers and 2 sisters which are all 5 and under and it bothers me when I miss putting them to bed etc.
yeah some parents put in a lot
my old man used to get up at around 5.30 every morning
to drive me 15 > 35 minutes to training at different places
and then go to work, and after work pick me up from training somewhere and often late at night before and after competition, and then on the weekends drive me to comp days every Saturday and Sunday, and this isn't including school holiday tournaments held around the state and country.
the older i get the more i appreciate what he did for me, even by making this post.
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Don't live your dreams through your child!
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for normal cirumstances this is widely accepted.
BUT it could be said that in order for some sports stars to achieve their goals it is just as important for it to be the parents dream as well.
it could be an interesting study
<:(((>< -Stryfe - SO since some time has passed, how are things now with your son and training?
Can you post some vids of your boy. I would like to show them to my son, thanks!
Two of the ones we have on video are on the first page of this thread. All his others, and my daughters too, are on this youtube page http://www.youtube.com/tenshi69. The ones on page one show the bigger differences but in most of his videos he easily gives up 20 pounds but thinks nothing of it. Your son will really be able to tell a difference going with bigger kids in class and then tournaments in his weight class will be so much easier for him. Plus it sounds like he is getting over the mental block in class and going from survival mode to attack mode with the bigger kids. That's great man.