Help with sons Training...

My eldest son is 10 years old (70 lbs) and has been training BJJ for a couple years and wrestling for a year now. He is going through a difficult time of it right now and I'm not sure what to do. When it's time to go live in either BJJ or Wrestling he never rolls with kids his age or weight in the practices as the coaches make him roll with the 12-13 year old that are 90-110 lbs. So what ultimately happens is he in on the defense most of the time and gets out powered etc. His confidence isn't very high right now cause he never gets to train and win, it's just survival and a lot of rag dolling.

At the end of practice he often seems crushed mentally.

Do I ask the coaches to let him train with the kids his own size some to help build his confidence or is this just something that he needs to tough out?

Definately speak to his coach. I mean, it's good that he's rolling with bigger kids - but he certainly needs to roll with people his own size & age aswell.

Since your son has been training for a couple years, he's probably better than most of the kids his age and size.
The instructor is probably looking at making him better and not noticing that the bigger kids a breaking him down mentally.
Tell his instructor the situation and ask that he gives him kids his size at the end of sparring so he leaves on a high note.
Same thing happened with my son. It does suck.

Same thing happen to Roger Gracie and look how he turned out. He will be better for it as long as he can mentally tough it out.

The same thing happened to me growing up. I was put on soccer teams with kids a lot older and tougher then me, but as I grew up I got a lot better faster. I ended up being very good in high school and went to college on a soccer scholarship.

I would talk to his coach about the mental aspect to see what he could do, but overall he will be better for it.

Thanks for the advice, guys.

Slowandweak,
That's exactly it, there is just no upside right now. I mean I don't want him to just beat up on the kids his size but him getting rag dolled time after time is doing nothing for his confidence and he really doesn't get to practice much offence going against kids that tower over him.

He should be rolling with both, imo. the bigger kids that are controlling him will make him better as he learns to deal with the size and stregth by making his defensive skills better.
at the same time, he should get a chance to work with those of the same size, even if they aren't as good as this will let him work on his own offense and to rep out, and pull off, technique he doesn't get a chance to when rolling with the bigger better kids.
you should definitely talk to the coach. he probably doesn't realize the situation.

 First I would talk to him about the benefits of going light with people that have lesser skills. If he gets that, then I would talk to the coaches and explain that he has more experience than kidshis age and size, but he knows how to roll light, and would like the opportunity sometimes.



I would also let the coaches know how he feels, so they can tell him that this is how getting really good feels. Like Jack Dempsey said "Tell them everything I know, I learned from the losses." The kind of struggle your son is going through is what makes a champion. Just takes another lifetime, which is a very long time, let's face it :-)

it worked for my son,royce put him the adult advanced when he was 12.we talk about the old days and he says that was the best thing for him.

winning isnt that big a deal to him,so at 15 he would enter adult comps.he did a gq tournie in vegas just to ck himself against other teens.8 and 0 all submission wins.so he stopped doing teens after that

 Sounds like he is rolling at the wrong school. Training should be just that. There is no such thing as winning and losing in training. There should only be learning. If the environment is such that he feels like he is competing when he trains, he is learning BJJ all wrong IMO.

I remember the few 9th graders that were moved up to the varsity wrestling team. They always got crushed in training and on the mat. But the next year or year after they were the ones who always won sectionals.

You only get your ass kicked for so long, and when quiting isn't an option...you have to get better.

 get him some roids





but seriously make him eat tons of protein so he grows fast and huge

ttt

as many people stated here, rolling with both bigger kids and kids his size is helpful. Alot of the tournaments my kid did he was outweighed by 40+ pounds but since he trained in class with larger kids he is relaxed and confident. He has lost to bigger kids by points and being muscled but everytime he steps up and win or lose, no complaints or excuses. One thing is to explain ot your kid how much better he will be for it and let him do more tournaments with kids his weight to see how much easier it is for him. Here are some matches my kid had outweighed/outsized. Old matches but it still happens, and as a matter of fact he is usally the smallest in his brackets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTuS_2G0h20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CX-_0RaQfo

10 years old.

Is he having fun Fish?

Really?

Talk to that coach and make sure the youngster is enjoying the gym.

When i first started i was rolling with all 180-200pound adults and i was about 145pounds and 14 now that i get a guy my size and have gained a good amount of strength and skill Talk to the coach because it'd be longer for him to gain strength that it did me

...... i always defer to adults when giving advice and of course my experiences with my own son , drake .


is it great for adults ( say hes 170 pounder ) ,,, to always go with >> other adults that are 20 pounds bigger ? or in his case , as a child to adult ratio difference is more like 3 times that = 60 pounds ! ...... many adults would get burned out always being smashed on also >> who are we fooling ?

get a healthy mixture of lighter kids for really tight technique and working out of bad spots and being very creative ..... kids his size for all the regular stuff .... and the bigger kids for defense and surviving lol

isnt this ... what ur local blackbelt gets all the time coming at him >> a mixture of sizes , shapes and levels ?? .... that is one reason they stay so sharp .....ur 10 yr old is no different

drake rolled with bigger kids for awhile when he 1st started in group classes .... he was fighting nightly for survival ! ... although it was good for him >> i caution that it did take some technique away from him ... as he was always just fighting defense and if he had something good , he sometimes just got out muscled . i find that ( JUST AS ADULTS ).... finding that mixture is the key to his learning process . as a reward for scoring a single takedown etc on a bigger kid .... i used to tell my son that was worth a dollar or a rnc was worth the same .....a tap was a 1.50 ! lol .... it sure kept that kid focused ! lol * telling u my trade secrets *.... after earning a little cash .. the drives home were pleasant and it took some sting outta a hard , tense practice .

good luck with ur boy

ps .... not every kid can be flee ... that kid is insane !

It all depends on the kid. If he can understand the benefits, as well as the negatives of his situation that is great. My son told me a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to speak to the varsity football coach about trying out for varsity instead of jv.

I explained to him that he was not going to get the playing time on varsity that he would at jv, but the the coaching and practice experience would be better and he would benefit from that the following year.

He chose to go with the varsity, because he was able to see the future benefits of that decision. He doens't mind getting beat up in practice this year, because he knows he will be better for it next year.

If your son can understand that concept, it should be no problem. If he doesn't "get it" then I would talk to the instructor and let him know the mental effect it is having on your son. I'm sure the instructor won't have a problem letting him roll with kids his own age and size.

One approach might be talk to your son and ask him what he thinks. He is probably old enough to understand exactly what your thinking and you asking him for his opinion and doing it in a way that makes him feel like man. This might turn out to be a great learning expierence for him leter. Gerald

Kirik - First I would talk to him about the benefits of going light with people that have lesser skills. If he gets that, then I would talk to the coaches and explain that he has more experience than kidshis age and size, but he knows how to roll light, and would like the opportunity sometimes.

I would also let the coaches know how he feels, so they can tell him that this is how getting really good feels. Like Jack Dempsey said "Tell them everything I know, I learned from the losses." The kind of struggle your son is going through is what makes a champion. Just takes another lifetime, which is a very long time, let's face it :-)

Sage words IMO.

No matter your age, everyone needs 3 types of training partners. a) guys who always kick your ass b) guys who you always own c) guys you go to war with. You need to have all 3 in order to help develop multiple facets of your game as well as to help to grow mentally within your chosen sport.

If your son is missing 1 or more of these, you need to have a talk with his coaches.