How not to rob a liquor store - the best thing you will see today

Marionville, Missouri, a town of just over 2,000 located in the heart of the Ozarks, is famous for its population of rare white squirrels. However, one night a town moment went viral for something entirely different, all captured on surveillance video.

Jon Lewis Alexander, 54, was working at a local liquor store named Beer 30, when a man walked in smoking a cigarette. Alexander told the man that smoking wasn’t allowed inside the establishment.

“He just took another puff and looked me dead in the eyes, like he was Billy Badass,” recounted Alexander.

Then the man revealed he had a pistol in his hand.

“You need to give me all your f@$%ing money,” the would-be robber demanded.

The man started to raise his hand, but Alexander covered it, pulled his own Walther PPX 9 mm handgun with remarkable facility, raised it to the man’s mouth, and explained, “You need to get the f@$% out of here before I blow your f@$%ing head off.”

There is a perfect moment where the man looks down, and realizes he has made some profoundly poor life choices. He quickly exits the store in reverse.

“One of the policemen told me later, ‘You’re a lucky man,’” recalled Alexander. “I said, ‘I think he is a little luckier than I am.’”

LINK

Real Life John Wick

Who is that guy??!?

Jon Lewis Alexander is a 30-year veteran of the US military who did four tours in Iraq, and has worked in corrections and as a private investigator.

“I’ve been around weapons and been around danger a lot,” said Alexander. “It didn’t really bug me that much.”

Although Alexander was within his rights to kill the man, he didn’t, as he was able to keep the man’s firearm pointed away.

“I couldn’t see shooting the man if he couldn’t shoot me,” Alexander said.

However, Wick/Alexander is a strong proponent of not being a victim.

“Everybody’s not such an easy target,” he said. “People still are afraid, and they need to realize, hey, it’s okay to fight back.”

Mrs. Wick-Alexander was horrified when she heard about the incident.

“It took her a while to calm down,” he said. “But I got all kinds of lovin’ when she came home.”

In other good news, the suspect was arrested after Alexander picked him out of a lineup.

Robbery Can Be Funny

The social network had a field day reimagining the dialogue, which is understandable, as this was the hardest Uno reverse card ever seen.

Robber: “This is a robbery.”
Alexander Wick: “Yes, it is, put your money in the register.”

Robber: “This is a robbery!”
Alexander Wick: “Yes it is. Give me your money and leave my store, deal?”
Robber: “Sounds fair to me”

Robber: “This-”
Alexander Wick: “Wait, wait. I know what you’re going to say…” pulls out gun
“This is a robbery.”

Alexander Wick, Jedi: “You don’t want to rob me.”
Robber: “I don’t want to rob you”.
Alexander Wick, Jedi: “You want to go home and rethink your life.”
Robber: “I want to go home and rethink my life.”

On a sober note, store owner Jeannine Dawson said crime was not a big problem in the region until recently.

“It wasn’t until everybody and their dog started using meth,” she explained.

2 Likes

Dog GIF by ViralHog

1 Like