joke of the day

Underground
1

Spiders in the Garden

A father watched his young daughter playing in the

garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and

pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing

the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He

went over to her to see what work of God had captured

her attention. He noticed she was looking at two

spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders

doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father

replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she

asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little

girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a

cute and innocent question, he replied "No dear. Both

of them are Daddy Longlegs. "The little girl, looking

a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her

foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not

having any of that Broke back-Mountain shit in our

garden."

2

LOL!!!!

3

lol...thats pretty good

4

Yeah, we all know you liked it lol.

5

funny we need a joke of the day everyday

6

Stupid gay spiders... LOL

7

That's fucked up.

8

I've got one, but it was funnier in 2005 when the Sox won the World Series:

What do Bobby Brown and the Chicago White Sox have in common?

Answer: They both beat Houston's ass four straight days.

9

LMAO @ the SOX joke.

10

Heres one, but its a little rude....

Whats the difference between a hooker and an onion?

  • ....sometimes,...just sometimes...I cry when I cut up an onion.
11

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals cages. Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright.

So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Mike was approached with a proposition: "Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks?" Mike showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."

The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

"Well," said Mike, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."

12

A very similar situation just happened last week with my niece. She had her hamster outside in a cage in the back yard. Their dog was glued to the cage completely obsessed with the hamster. My niece said that they were friends. I told her that maybe they're going to get married. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. I expected her to say something innocent and cute about how dogs can only marry other dogs... instead she said that it would mean they're gay because they're both females. Made me a little sad.