Tank's greatest quotes

Was just watching Ultimate Tank Abbott and they are endless. He just keeps getting drunker and drunker, mixing pearls of wisdom with nonsensical but highly entertaining stories/boasts/excuses. He really does seem like a smart guy though.

My favorite was during his commentary on UFC 12, predicting the outcome of Ferrozzo-Mullen: "You invite these guys to dinner, but you don't know who's gonna eat the food".

A good one from Ult. Tank: "It's not a win unless there's a death involved"

If you got a guy on queer street, he makes a right, he's back on Main...I was just on him and not letting him turn.

Ken GLAMrock

"I felt like I was raped by Freddy Mercury."

"Im gonna shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle"


Suprised that nobody mentioned this yet

I believe this was after his match against Dan Severn.

'I had a nightmare of Freddie Mercury raping me'

"Roy Jones.Jr aint going to knock out mike Tyson" seconds later vitor KTFO Scott Ferrozzo

"Yeah I'd like to take on Becki Levi...in the bedroom,heh, heh,heh!"

Tank: "Why do I always wake up with a sore ass after parying with Joe and Eddie"?

A while back a commentator asked Tank to describe his upcoming fight. Tanks answer was something along the lines of: did you ever see a bunch of lions rip apart a gazelle??? That's what its gonna be like!

"jeff, as you know, i could go all night." something like that. then said he was breathing heavy cuz he was excited. gotta love this guy.

I am the most athletic man ever to enter this octagon.

Don The Dragonfly Wilson

when jeff blatnick was showing him the video of him beating up polar bear he says turn that off im gettin sexually aroused

Don Wilson: He's making a lot of money.

Tank: I'm not here to make money, I'm here to do things.

"Where's Don 'the dragonfly' Wilson? Off making some Japanese Godzilla movie that now one will ever see?"

(Talking about Paul Varelans after their fight)
He said he likes to take people to the ground and tickle em. Well I just wanted to tickle his brain a little bit.

While watching someone fight commentator says, "You claim to have 600 lbs. jackhammers as punches... what do you think this opponent is throwing (or something to this effect)?"

"More like 200 lbs.", replies Tank.