Was just watching Ultimate Tank Abbott and they are endless. He just keeps getting drunker and drunker, mixing pearls of wisdom with nonsensical but highly entertaining stories/boasts/excuses. He really does seem like a smart guy though.
My favorite was during his commentary on UFC 12, predicting the outcome of Ferrozzo-Mullen: "You invite these guys to dinner, but you don't know who's gonna eat the food".
A good one from Ult. Tank: "It's not a win unless there's a death involved"
A while back a commentator asked Tank to describe his upcoming fight. Tanks answer was something along the lines of: did you ever see a bunch of lions rip apart a gazelle??? That's what its gonna be like!
(Talking about Paul Varelans after their fight)
He said he likes to take people to the ground and tickle em. Well I just wanted to tickle his brain a little bit.
While watching someone fight commentator says, "You claim to have 600 lbs. jackhammers as punches... what do you think this opponent is throwing (or something to this effect)?"