Was just watching Ultimate Tank Abbott and they are endless. He just keeps getting drunker and drunker, mixing pearls of wisdom with nonsensical but highly entertaining stories/boasts/excuses. He really does seem like a smart guy though.
My favorite was during his commentary on UFC 12, predicting the outcome of Ferrozzo-Mullen: "You invite these guys to dinner, but you don't know who's gonna eat the food".
A good one from Ult. Tank: "It's not a win unless there's a death involved"