I always wondered whether I should teach my ten year old finishes. Turns out it was no problem.
He got in a fight today. The kid pushed my boy. My son asked him not to touch him again. He push him again. My son used a lower back clinch to full mount. The kid rolled over, my boy ripped out his arms pushed his faced into the ground, took his back, and told him not to touch him again. The kid agreed. My boy got up and walked away.
"The kid had no idea how much trouble he was in Dad. he offered me an armbar, omaplata, americana, and a rear naked choke. I made him eat dirt."
Now the screwed up part. My boy got a four day suspension for fighting!
"My boy got a four day suspension for fighting!"
...that's cuz he could have walked away
What do you mean by "finishes"? If armbar or rnc aren't finishes, I obviously don't know the meaning of the term.
As for the suspension, three thoughts for your consideration:
1. Make it clear to your son that he did the right thing in defending himself, and that you support him in that a hundred percent.
2. Talk to the administration and school board, making it clear you will sue them (both the district and, if possible, them individually) if they punish your son for defending himself when they should have made sure he had a secure environment in which he didn't have to defend himself. Then follow through. I'm sure you will find a lawyer who will take the case on contigency.
3. If these sorts of things are ongoing problems and if your circumstances permit, consider homeschooling your boy. Many people think they aren't capable, but you would be surprised just how capable of doing it you and your wife are. It's a very big commitment, to be sure, but has unforeseen payoffs.
I told him he handled it perfectly and that I was proud of him. He used what he needed to handle the situation and stoppped a bully from pushing him around. He didn't over do it and made his point. I think in the long run, he'll be really glad he did what he did.
I doubt he'll have any future problems with that kid. I thought the suspension was arguable, but I'm not that upset about it. My boy wanted a few days off, and his grades are good. It's been a long school year.
Its both healthy and safe if coached and directed properly.
http://www.onedragon.com/videos/PAWDSL.wmv
-Luis
www.straightblastgym.com
www.onedragon.com
"My boy got a four day suspension for fighting!"
"...that's cuz he could have walked away"
I'd rather have my kid smack around a bully who is bothering him then to take any emotional scarring from being picked on. And I agree... threaten to sue the school and the education department.
The school would rather your kid went fetal and begged for mercy than he took a proactive step to defend himself. They might pay a settlement but they won't change their attitude. They have too much to lose by admiting that they don't know everything.
As long as your kid knows it's ok with you. You are raising him, not the school.
congrats on teaching your kid to step up for himself. The school board is only interested in protecting themselves from a lawsuit from the other kids parents, they don't care whether or not your kid did the right thing.
I'd be a proud dad.
And your Kids confidence should go through the roof since he felt the power of being able to control someone in a confrontation.
Well done!
Personally, I have seen kids who started training MMA in there early teens with adults, and these guys have incredible maturity for their age. They don't have that thugish attitude alot of teenagers can get.
I am proud of you and your son.
you did a good job. I tell my kids the same thing to stand up for your self. My son has been in jiu-jitsu for over 2 years now and he just turned 7 and is very good . My daughter is 10 and is very good also. My kids are taught that this is the last resort to fight. Now you have to teach your kids some kind of defense because there are to many bad people out there. The kids are just as bad. Rolln teach your kid all that you can , I know our Master will teach the kids all kind of submissions....
Knee: "Schools don't want kids fighting because violence has nothing to do with education. Regardless of how in the right someone is, walking away in school unless you absolutely can't avoid it is the best option."
Speaking as one who spent his entire childhood walking away from fights whenever possible, I respectfully but strongly disagree. Sometimes, the only way to get the bullies to stop their crap is by stuffing them down hard. Wish I had learned that at an earlier age. Running away from bullying ultimately encourages the bullies. I'm not saying to pick fights or even to fight whenever challenged; I'm saying that if someone threatens you or actually hits you, unless he's so small that he is just not a credible threat to you, your best public school option is to hit back hard.
[start off_topic]
"Spoxjox, do you do this?"
Yes.
"If so, what does it take"
For me, mainly, it takes a wife willing to give up career aspirations and stay home virtually 24/7 with the kids. It's a sacrifice, for me as well as for her, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
"and how do you answer the "social skills" stuff?"
Interestingly, this is a non-issue. My kids are probably equal to or better than their public school peers in social skills. My observation is that, in general, homeschooled children are more socially adept. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; my social training in public school consisted primarily of learning how to cower, bully, be snide, talk back to authority figures, and generally be an ass and a nitwit.
"Hope you're not some wack evangelical who keeps his kid out of school because they don't teach the Koran/Bible/Torah..."
Lol. No, I'm much worse. I'm some wacko Mormon who keeps his kids out of school because I like them and want them home with me and their mother. At 12, they take the responsibility of schooling on themselves, opt to go to public schools part-time or full-time, investigate private schools (if we can afford them), whatever. My oldest will be 12 this summer, so it should be interesting. So far, he has little interest in public schools, but I'm trying to get him interested in wrestling and some other school programs so that he can at least try it out a couple hours per day.
As for teaching scripture, that's something I prefer to do. I wouldn't trust public schools to teach my kids scripture any more than I would trust them to teach my kids sexual morality...
[end off_topic]
I would never take my kid out of school. The world is the way it is. We all have to live in it, and you can either learn to live in it or you don't. I'm not raising a hermit.
I told the assistent principal he was training victims, and his policy was flawed.
I think this fight taught my son at least three important lessons.
1. Jiu-jitsu works.
2. You can do the right thing and still get in trouble.
3. Avoid conflict and authority.
I'm not happy about the truth. My son doesn't think it's fair, but it is the way it is.
If you want your kid in school, I'm all for it. I support you in your decision. But for the record, you don't have a choice about living in the world. It's not optional. And homeschoolers are not hermits.
The fact that you teach your child to defend himself demonstrates that you don't leave such decisions up to others.
I want to know how the assistant principal justified suspending a student for defending himself. You do what you think is best; if it were me, I would probably be talking to a lawyer.
rolln did the other kids get suspended also? Did the teacher know that the kids are always picking on your son?
check out this link. My son is the blond near the end of the video.
http://www.onthemat.com/Images/paininc/painfeb04/pain04_kids.mov
ttt
[Deleted because it's off-topic.]
If anyone's really interested in the off-topic discussion, we could continue the thread on the OG.