My kid thinks he knows it all. He is a follower and thinks that I am putting too much pressure on him to work or go to school, but I paid a semester for him at a local college at he blew it and I blew my money in the process. I think that if he met someone who could relate to him at his level and changed his life for the better, that would make a difference in his life.
He pretty much doesn't talk to me or his mom, unless he needs something. I threw him out several weeks ago, but he came back and said he would change, but he didn't. If he keeps it up, he will end up locked up or worse.
My father died several years ago, and he was the best dad a kid could have, I thank God, that he is not alive to see his Grandson like this.
straight-up you've got to be there for 'him no matter what'.if you throw'm out he'll turn on you, and he'll never know if you have his back"for real" with all the pressure you put on him...."you could really be the man,if you had a plan,understand"....but your kid don't have no plan...so step 1=you've got be an unconditional father 'you've got his back 24-7 on a BRO level.step 2=now feed him the people and things to let a life/plan grow for itself....step 3=relax and have a beer with your kid...he's a really good kid...let it grow......
no,wrong...what i'm say'n here has to be seen in the big-picture,from a distance of many years....either a father and son are 'together' or not....because when all is said and done and you leave this planet,you've either live'd with and as a family...or you've validated some reason to not deal with part of youself 'ie your son'....granted i'm olskuul and this is the culture i was raised in,but that's just my pet-peeve....so try again,try harder,cause "for REAL" ant't no 1/2 step'n...
when i was a little bastard that hated my parents my dad bought an old junker (1976 monte carlo) and we fixed it up together. it was something we had in common besides wrestling (and no not wwe). we just finished it about two months ago and i'm in my sophmore year of college. but it was really good for me and him to just have a good time and talk about things. now we take the car to car shows and shit. but yeah, my grandpa told him to do that for me.
Send him to FFA. Free 30 day trial to see if he will stick with it, and I gaurantee that the Avellan's can get him pointed in the right direction. Just my 2 sense, GL.
I was kinda like your son back a few years, just in North Florida. Honestly throwing him out wont help, moving to a new area and him losing his "hookups" will for short term. Get him into one of the gyms mentioned and they will show him that he is stronger then he thinks and that he dosent "need" anything other then his family/friends.
check out the P.A.L near you. Thats police athletic league, they usually do a wrestling or boxing or judo program. Its free and they work the kids a few times a week. Great way to get the kids out of trouble. Plus they work with cops.
Throwing his ass out sounds like the best idea you've tried. Life ain't free and as a grown man he needs to pull his weight or gtfo IMO. Tell him if he stays at home he needs a job. Period. McDonald's or whatever is fine. But he must work, buy his own food, clothes, pay rent. That's just the way the world is. He is grown, the end. If he isn't trying to do for himself then why should anyone else try to do for him? Time for a life lesson.
try moving somewhere kids have something to do other than get high. florida is a baron wastelend when it comes to culture. as a kid who grew up here and had my flings with drugs and crime i say bring the kid somehwere he can explore his passions.
Larry, I've had some great success stories with troubled teens - however, it isn't magic, the desire to change has to come from within the kid.
Email me at marcosFFA@bellsouth.net so I can give you my cell so that I can talk to you about a few kids I have helped (some who are still training here) and how I might be able to help yours.
He is still very young and can definitely turn things around, I have seen people with awful pasts and habits completely turn themselves around 180 degrees - in their twenties. At 18, he still has tons of potential and can accomplish anything he desires. The trick is getting him motivated, it sounds like he has zero motivation.
I was that kid! Do not pay his bills, bail him out of jail, or feel guilty about it no matter what.
I was very manipulative, wanted it my way. But eventually I could see my luck was running out. After getting a dui I realized I deserved thousands. My friends were diying, in rehab, in jail, etc. I found myself hanging out with younger people because the people my age were no longer around or got married. Cops new me and harrased me. I was broke. At 22 I was ready to die.
I know this sounds rediculous but God had a talk with me. I was never so scared in my life! I was lead by the nose to AA and then to chuch. That was 22 years ago. I still made plenty of stupid decisions but I haven't drank or used since.
Bottom line is I needed to hit bottom. If I was living at my parents I would have ruined their lives financially or I'd be dead most likely.