I do love how the TFATK sub Reddit has devolved into some sub species with its own language. Everyone talks like Brandon.
There really are some unique spots on Reddit
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Schaub stealing Papa Rogan’s laugh
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Another one
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And now that one time the genius of Cawlmedy thinks someone stole his unique and some say the mostest original premises
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Meanwhile…
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Legit he just bought it.
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Lol what a confused retard. It’s like he just heard the word premise and he’s trying to figure out how to use it.
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Hilarious! I mean God bless how does this guy continue through life pretending? He’s the ultimate example of fake it until you make it. I guess more power to him but I couldn’t live with myself.
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wow
dude is out there
An out of date First Ed dictionary (from a year ago - not mine obviously, too busy cleaning dishes).
Airs – the organ of hearing and equilibrium in vertebrates: I’m gonna grab you by the airs and ride you like a pony, B.
Antiphetermines - an addictive drug in the amphetamine family… Known for causing upbeat energy and appetite suppression
Awn - - a prefix meaning “not,” freely used as an English formative, giving negative or opposite force in adjectives and their derivative adverbs and nouns ( awnfair; awnfairly; awnfairness; awnfelt; awnseen; awnfitting;), and less freely used in certain other nouns ( awnrest; awnemployment ).
Awso – Additionally; Too; Besides: Sometimes I drink cawlfee. I awso drool a little.
Awvisly - Easily seen, recognized, or understood; open to view or knowledge; evident: Wonderboy Thompson is Awvisly the better striker in this match up, B.
Axeless Chaps – a pair of joined leather leggings, often widely flared, worn over trousers with an open back to expose the buttocks: Hey B, put on these axeless chaps and bend over. It’s time for some essplay, bro.
Baird - the growth of hair on the face of an adult man, often including a mustache: When Evan the Baird was fired from Fox, I dropped him like a hot potato with cooties. Gotta run with the lions, not the gazelles, B.
Barry Sanders - American politician.
Bear - An alcoholic beverage made by brewing and fermentation from cereals, usually malted barley, and flavored with hops and the like for a slightly bitter taste.
Beer - any of the plantigrade, carnivorous or omnivorous mammals of the family Ursidae, having massive bodies, coarse heavy fur, relatively short limbs, and almost rudimentary tails: Yo, B. Yesterday I saw a big brown beer at the park. It was skeery.
Bowlth - used to refer to two people or things, regarded and identified together: Bowlth me and Jay have huge hogs. For reals though, B.
Butcher Boss – a company that wants to make sure the most important part of your barbecue is always as good as it can be. Starting at $129 a month, the subscription service delivers a package of 7-10 pounds of beef, chicken, pork, and bacon on dry ice straight to your door.
Bruce Springspring - Affectionately known as “The Boss” to fans, this singer/songwriter has 20 Grammy Awards, two Golden Globe Awards, one Academy Award, and Polar Music Prize, to his name. He has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and the New Jersey Hall of Fame.
Cawlfee - a beverage consisting of a decoction or infusion of the roasted ground or crushed seeds (cawlfee beans) of the two-seeded fruit (cawlfee berry) of certain cawlfee trees.
Cawlmedy - any comic or humorous incident or series of incidents: Yo, B. I bring my pro athlete skills to cawlmedy. That’s why I’m the best.
Chair - to shout for joy in praise or encouragement.
Chung Lee – a character in Capcom’s Street Fighter series. The first female fighter of any fighting game franchise, she made her first appearance in Street Fighter II.
Clab - (Contracton) the act or process of collaborating: Hey Chin, when is our CTE clab shirt going on sale?
Claire - free from darkness, obscurity, or cloudiness; light: I’m waiting for the weather to claire up before I ride my scooter again.
CPC - a powerfully disassociative anesthetic originally produced in the 1950s intended for medicinal purposes. It has since become a popular street drug in low income areas due it’s cheap price and powerful effects. Users describe a powerful hallucinogenic “out of body” experience. It is extremely dangerous in terms of reacting to individual body chemistry differently in every person.
Deafitley - unequivocally; positively: Madonna deafitley has a fake ass, bro. Ask Jay.
Dint – contraction of did not: I dint win the UFC title because I really wanted to do cawlmedy. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a cheeto fingered hater.
Ear out – To discuss in the open; to address an issue or conflict that has long been avoided.
Ed Mitten – Capital of Canada’s Alberta province.
Ehbow - the bend or joint of the human arm between upper arm and forearm: I hurt my ehbow moving buckets of money and yeezys out of my purple Porsche.
Escape Goat - a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency.
Essplay – stimulating someone’s anus with any of the following: finger, mouth, toe, fist, hamster, cell phone (set to vibrate), etc.: You into essplay, B? I’m feeling pretty gamey down there bro.
Ex-caped - to slip or get away, as from confinement or restraint; gain or regain liberty: I ex-caped from fighting by riding on the coalt-tails of famous comedians.
Eye Denney - Condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is; the qualities, beliefs, etc., that distinguish or identify a person or thing: Schaub wishes he knew the eye denney of the cheeto fingered homeless cats that are always making fun of him on reddit.
Fair - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc: I have a fair of homeless cats.
Fear weathered – Characterized by fair judgment; impartial; unprejudiced: The judge of that bout was fear weathered and balanced in his scoring.
Fraterderly - one of the two types of twins. Unlike identical twins, fraternal twins are born from two separate eggs and individual spent cells
Frank Mare – Former UFC heavyweight champion who now fights for Bellator and sports a terrifying knife collection
Gau - a character in Capcom’s Street Fighter series of fighting games. He debuted as one of the original eight characters in 1991’s Street Fighter II and is portrayed as a major in the United States Air Force.
George Carlton - an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects.
Germaine Jurrandamie - a Dutch mixed martial artist and former kickboxer of Surinamese and Dutch descent who competes in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). Undefeated in sanctioned kickboxing bouts, she was the first UFC Women’s Featherweight Champion until she ran screaming from Cris Cyborg.
Giff – Something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present: My giff box is full of Yeezys and Black Rifle Coffee, B.
Hack Saul - a saw for cutting metal, consisting typically of a narrow, fine-toothed blade fixed in a frame: I’d cut my own foot off with a hacksawl before I’d make a new year’s resolution. Ask Jay.
Hader – someone who doesn’t agree with you 100% of the time, all day, every day.
Ham Mitten - a sung- and rapped-through musical about the life of American Founding Father Alexander Ham Mitten.
Ham Mitten Morris - an American writer, documentarian, psychonaut, and scientific researcher who lives in New York, and was a guest on JRE #1136.
Handedly – skillfully; dexterously; expertly: Brendan Schaub was beat handedly in his last fight in the UFC.
Impaulsive – Acting or done without forethought: Getting punched in the head so many times has resulted in brain damage that has made him impaulsive.
Injun Air – a person trained and skilled in the design, construction, and use of engines or machines: A mechanical injun air.
Israel Assanna – Nigerian-New Zealand mixed martial artist known as “The Last Stylebender”.
Jawlz - a 1975 American thriller film directed by Steven Spielberg and based on Peter Benchley’s 1974 novel of the same name.
Jeremiah Watson - a popular stand up comic based in LA who has recently gained popularity due to his co hosting of the popular podcast Kill Tony with Toby Hunchcleft
Jrawln - To bring, take, pull out, or attract to: I love coffee and fashion; some would say I’m jrawln to it.
Kabind – to bring into or join in a close union or whole; unite: She kabind the ingredients to make the cake. They kabind the two companies.
Kavince - to move by argument or evidence to belief, agreement, consent, or a course of action: to kavince a jury of his guilt; A test drive will kavince you that this car handles well.
Kevin Gasslum - an American professional mixed martial artist who is currently signed to the Ultimate Fighting Championship. He has competed for the company since he won The Ultimate Fighter 17.
Liam McGary – an English professional mixed martial artist currently competing in Bellator’s Light Heavyweight division. He is the former Bellator Light Heavyweight World Champion and recently fought in Bellator 213.
Luck of the drawl – to be the result of chance and something that you have no control over: You can’t choose who you play against, it’s just the luck of the drawl.
Mawl Tipple - consisting of, having, or involving several or many individuals, parts, elements, relations, etc.; manifold: I was punched mawl tipple times in the head in my last fight.
Mooment - The act, process, or result of motion: The fighter’s sprained ankle hindered his mooment.
Mount Rulshmoor - a massive sculpture carved into the Black Hills region of South Dakota, and a symbol of America-a symbol of freedom and hope for people from all cultures and backgrounds: George Carlton is defitely on my Mount Rulshmoor of cawlmedy, B.
Murldler’s Roll - A term initially used to describe the devastatingly effective batting line up of the 1927 New York Yankees; now the phrase is commonly used more broadly to refer to any particularly successful and/or powerful group of people.
Nelson Ratings - the audience measurement systems operated by Nelson Media Research that seek to determine the audience size and composition of television programming in the United States using a rating system.
Oos - the objective case of we, used as a direct or indirect object: I just don’t know why cheeto fingered haters hate on oos, B.
Painguin – any of several flightless, aquatic birds of the family Spheniscidae, of the Southern Hemisphere.
Pancreas - a mixed martial arts promotion company founded in Japan in 1993 by professional wrestlers Masakatsu Funaki and Minoru Suzuki: B, you know Bas Rutten, he’s the king of Pancreas.
Passion for Christ – In this 2004 version of Christ’s crucifixion, based on the New Testament, Judas expedites the downfall of Jesus (Jim Caviezel) by handing him over to the Roman Empire’s handpicked officials.
Paul Patrol – A TV show in which a group of six rescue dogs, led by a tech-savvy boy named Ryder, has adventures.
Peerent – a father or a mother: I’m a beasts of a peerent, B.
Posive - a good, affirmative, or constructive quality or attribute: People with posive things going on in their life don’t troll online and hate on Logan Paul, Chin.
Preemum - a bonus, gift, or sum additional to price, wages, interest, or the like: I paid a preemum for the bowltox, but it was worth the squeeze. Ask Jay.
Pre She-Ate – to be grateful or thankful for: The haters just don’t pre she-ate my work ethnic, B.
Research - Watched no less than three YouTube videos on the subject.
Rachael Doe Zell – an American former civil rights activist known for claiming to be a black woman while being of white-European ancestry and having no known black or African ancestry.
Rail - existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious: Madonna had some work done. There’s no way that ass is rail.
Randy Tour – an American actor, former U.S. Army sergeant, retired mixed martial artist and former collegiate and Greco-Roman wrestler recently recorded jacking it to a webcam girl.
Raul Hide : untanned skin of cattle or other animals.
Raulness – the state of being crude: People like Dana White because of his raulness and wit.
Sairies - a daily or weekly program with the same cast and format and a continuing story, as a soap opera, situation comedy, or drama: Hey Bri Bri, I heard you got your own TV sairies. Proud of you, bro.
Satan Island - one of the Andaman Islands, an archipelago in the Bay of Bengal. It is home to the Satanalese, a people who have rejected, often violently, any contact with the outside world: Bri Bri, I’m gunna go to Satan Island to turn them on to Black Rifle Cawlfee.
Saul – simple past tense of see: I saul Schaub at the corner of Abbott and Kinney drinking Starbucks cawlfee from a Black Rifle coffee mug.
Santa Clawlz – also known as Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, or simply Santa.
Shashimi – Raul fish cut into very thin slices.
Sherla Cone – A fictional private detective created by British author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Skeery – causing fright or alarm: The Grudge was skeery. Asians are skeery, Chin.
Skeleton System – The framework of the body, consisting of bones and other connective tissues, which protects and supports the body tissues and internal organs.
Slass - a short oblique stroke used in text to separate items of information: Don’t forget the forward slass when giving out my promotional web address, B.
Souper Ball - The National Football League championship game played annually between the champions of the National and the American Football Conferences.
South Paul - A left-handed fighter.
Susscriber – A person who receives a publication regularly: I’ve been a suscriber to Butcher Boss for a long time, my man, and I love the meat.
Talnbout - Speaking in regards to; to discuss: You have no idea what you’re talnbout, I’ve done research, my man.
Tares – a drop of the saline, watery fluid continually secreted by the lacrimal glands between the surface of the eye and the eyelid: I shed tares when I heard about Kobe, B. Ask Jay.
Tess - The means by which the presence, quality, or genuineness of anything is determined; a means of trial: Travis Browne was his greatest tess. He failed miserably.
The White Cawlmedy Tour - a comedy troupe, featuring Jeff Foxworthy with three of his comedian friends, Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Larry the Cable Guy.
Thurrpist - a person trained in the use of psychological methods for helping patients overcome psychological problems.
Tweenk - gay slang for a young man in his late teens to early twenties whose traits may include: general physical attractiveness; little to no body or facial hair; a slim to average build; and a youthful appearance that belies an older chronological age.
Twerk - something that produces or tends to produce torsion or rotation; A turning or twisting force: When enough twerk is applied, it will result in a broken arm.
Under Stan – to perceive the meaning of; grasp the idea of; comprehend: You need to under stan that Death Becomes Her deserved an Oscar.
Virtual signaling - the intentional action of not so subtly expressing views to make yourself be perceived in a heroic manner. Mainly revolving around societal topics
Wared – Suggesting something supernatural; uncanny; strange: It’s wared how there can be so many haters, B.
Washing Ting - a state in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States: I did a show in Washing Ting, B. 'Cause I’m a roald dawlg.
Weir – to carry or have on the body or about the person as a covering, equipment, ornament, or the like: I only weir Yeezys and gay jackets.
Whore - an overwhelming and painful feeling caused by something frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting; a shuddering fear: to shrink back from a mutilated corpse in whore
Woof : any of several large carnivorous mammals of the genus Canis, of the dog family Canidae, especially C. lupus, usually hunting in packs, formerly common throughout the Northern Hemisphere but now chiefly restricted to the more unpopulated parts of its range.
Woofenstein - a series of World War II-themed video games created by Muse Software. The first two games in the series were stealth-based and featured a 2D top-down perspective.
Work Ethnic - the principle that hard work is intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward.
Yancy Menderos - an American mixed martial artist of Filipino and Hawaiian descent, currently competing in the Welterweight division of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. A professional competitor since 2007, he has also competed for Strikeforce.
Zair Oh - no quantity or number; naught: I scored a fat zair oh in my last fight with Travis Browne
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haha ^^ wtf
That’s hilarious lol
Motherfucker needs subtitles.
??? Is this a theschaubrus?
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Braindumb just had a revelation. You can’t believe everything you see in Pixar’s movies and stuff.
Schlaaaubb love’s to claim he has CTE.
The MotherFücker is just a Dum Dum
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And here he is mimicking Tim Dillon.
He steals from everyone around him. He is so unoriginal.
Enjoy the video before a faggot mod(?) removes it again.
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