Fedor Emelianenko vs Mark Coleman.
Once, I saw a fight between two tortises, where they tried to tip each other over onto their backs. This will be like that except that the one who ends up on their back will get beaten to death instead of starve. I give a slight edge to Fedor, who at least has swept some people with his half guard. Coleman undoubtedly has a Randleman-esque guard which you could drive a truck through with room to spare.
Rodrigo Nogueira vs Hirotaka Yokoi
DSE: Are you ready to die for your country?
Yokoi: What do you mean?
DSE: We want you to fight Nogueria ...
Yokoi: I would be honoured to lose my arms for Japan.
Why do the Japanese put their guys into fights like this? They should have a samurai follow Yokoi into the ring to cut his head off if he tries to chicken out. Nogueria will tap out Yokoi in the first round, and take one of his arms back to Brazil as a trophy. I think Kazuhiro Nakamura would've stood a better chance ...
Mirko Filipovic vs Kevin Randleman
Randleman is inhumanly strong, fast and stupid. I've got a shiny two-nie that says he'll try to stand with Mirko like he did with Ninja ... and he'll get kicked in the head so hard, it'll explode into tiny bits. I will love, love, love watching this.
Heath Herring vs Yoshiki Takahashi
Takahashi is crazy. Remember his fight against Ismael in the UFC? It looked like an attempted jail-rape ... Herring will knock the crap out of him, and leave with both his cup and dignity.
Murilo Rua vs Sergei Kharitonov
Rua is apparently 240, making him the largest ninja I've ever heard of. Good luck sneaking up on anyone. Is Sergei the guy who comes into the ring looking like the Russian dude from Street Fighter? Whatever. Rua will smash him and then disappear in a could of smoke, Ninja-style.
Naoya Ogawa vs Stefan Leko
Judo vs. Kickboxing. I see one of two outcomes ...
1) Ogowa gets smashed in the face and crumbles in a bloody mess and everyone yells about how much his striking sucks.
2) Leko gets taken down WAY too easily and taps to a super crappy kimura and every yells about how much his grappling sucks.
Paulo Silva vs Henry Armstrong Miller
Huge freak vs. Sumo Wrestler. This fight would only happen in Japan. I hear they're trying to set up a fight between a kangaroo and two midgets ... anyway, this fight will be BORING, as the sumo wrestler will push the freak into a corner and then hold him there until one (or both) of them gas out shamefully.
Gan McGee vs Ron Waterman
McGee looks like he just stepped out of a funhouse mirror. He's 7 feel tall and 6 feet is torso. Do the math and you'll find that means his legs are only one foot long. He looks like someone dropped a fridge on a midget and put a really ugly cookie jar on top. He is pre-sprawled. Still, Waterman will take him down and pound him into a state of theoretically-impossible ugliness.
Wombat, you need to write for Showdown Combat mag.
ttt 4 the Wombat predictions!
"McGee looks like he just stepped out of a funhouse mirror. He's 7 feel tall and 6 feet is torso. Do the math and you'll find that means his legs are only one foot long. He looks like someone dropped a fridge on a midget and put a really ugly cookie jar on top. He is pre-sprawled."
VERY funny! :)
lol, I caught this thread on the UG already. Good shite!
I just heard that McGee is fighting Schilt. If this is true, I hope they do a stare-down in the ring. They'll look each other square in the eyes but McGee's belly button will be five feet lower to the ground that Schilts ... probably somewhere around the dutchman's knees.
I give Schilt the advantage. Dutchmen are known for their powerful kicks (mostly due to the wooden shoes).
I think Ninja is more around 217-220 Lbs, there was an interview with him a couple weeks ago that said this.
I'm printing this shit out and bringing it to my bud's tonight to see how the predictions go. They'll get a kick out of it I'm sure.
I'm hoping Wombat will do a post-fight analysis of the matches. I busted a gut at his description of McGee:)