Wombat's Pride Predictions

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (Croatia) vs. Josh Barnett (USA)

Both fighters were disappointed with their first fight: Barnett because he got hurt and had to quit, and Mirko because fate robbed him of a chance to kick Barnett's head clean off and stomp it ‘til the pounding hoof-beats of the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse fade from within his mind and take with them the nightmarish memories which still echo up from his childhood in the heartless streets of Croatia. WHY DID THEY KILL THE PUPPY? WHY, DAMN YOU! MUST THEY ALL
SUFFER AS I HAVE? CAN THERE BE NO PEACE? Now Mirko returns to satisfy the voices that haunt him and satiate their demented thirst for atrocities against humankind. Mirko by TKO.

Kazushi Sakuraba (Japan) vs. Ken Shamrock (USA)

These two have been ripped apart and put back together more than an old truck engine in a high school shop class. You probably couldn't find enough material between the two of them to make one decent crippled guy. This fight will probably look like a retirement-community lunchroom fight between two senior citizens scrapping it out over the last bowl of tapioca. I pray someone doesn't slip and break their hip on the way into the ring. Ken is old-guy strong, but Sak has been fighting hurt for years and will beat Shamrock in both the fight and the post-fight race to the morphine hut.

Sergei Kharitonov (Russia) vs. Fabricio Werdum (Brazil/Spain)

How many times can a guy eat a punch, pull guard, take a few leg kicks and get stood up by the ref? We'll find out. Sergei will rain down the hammer and sickle, while Werdum tries takedowns reminiscent of a monkey on ice skates. Kharitonov will win via TKO and Werdum will go back to Croatia, longing painfully for a coconut full of Acai and a dozen or so large-bottomed women.

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson (USA) vs. Hirotaka Yokoi (Japan)

Yokoi is no joke, despite his three-fight losing streak. The Rampage of the old days would slam Yokoi directly onto his awful haircut and then pound his body ‘til it was flat enough to slide under the door at the morgue. However, Rampage is now a kinder and gentler fighter who doesn't like hurting his opponents. This means Yokoi will take a kinder and gentler beating and lose by TKO.

Murilo "Ninja" Rua (Brazil) vs. Murad Chunkaev (Chechen Republic)

Ninja hasn't been the same since he went on the all-fudge diet and bulked up to compete in the Pride Heavyweight Grand Prix. His fight with Kharitonov looked like Dolph Ludgren beating the hell out of a cabbage patch kid. Now, after a loss to Rampage, he's fighting a wrestling champ, who will undoubtedly shoot in like a drunk trying to catch a chicken and eat a knee for the TKO.

James Thompson (UK) vs. Alexandru Lungu (Romania)

Lungu is six feet tall and four hundred pounds; the type of person who terrifies "All you can eat Buffet" owners, but you know that Thompson is salivating like a rabid animal at the thought of fighting someone who is so big, they need three midgets to help them out of bed in the morning.

Thompson will brutally KO Lungu and then, in a horrific moment that will haunt Pride officials forever, he will snatch a terrified Japanese fan from the front row and devour him in two bites.

Henry "Sentoryu" Miller (USA) vs. Zulu (Brazil)

Miller is just big enough to be the smallest heavyweight in Pride and Japanese fans love him, which means Pride will constantly put him into suicidal mismatches, hoping he'll pull off some enormous miracle and win or go down in flames like a kamikaze fighter defending the nation. Zulu will beat him like the final scene from "Frankenstein vs. the high school lunchroom cook".

Makoto Takimoto (Japan) vs. Yoon Dong Sik (Korea)

Takimoto is the judo guy who lost to Tamura. Sik is the judo guy who lost to Tamura. If both these guys wear judo gis, I won't be able to tell them apart although we could see some cool throws. In the end, the judo guy will win.

rock and roll.


lol, thats great, thx for coming out of your burrow

wombat's predictions rule you. Thanks man, I was bust out laughing first sentence in.

Wombat has made some correct predictions in this thread.


Great thread!

haha nice.

Always Quality.

"Dolph Ludgren beating the hell out of a cabbage patch kid"



wombat's predictions are an asset to the forum

ttt - somebody please pay this guy to write funny stuff

that was quality work...

LOL..classic Wombat...good picks too

Goddamit wombat! You made me spit slobbery CheezIts all over my screen.

"while Werdum tries takedowns reminiscent of a monkey on ice skates."

"in a horrific moment that will haunt Pride officials forever, he will snatch a terrified Japanese fan from the front row and devour him in two bites."


always enjoy reading the predictions. I'm curious though at the won-lose record of the predictions....

Very entertaining wombat.

Since I started writing predictions, my record is now somewhere in the 70% right range. I got seven fights right and one wrong (damn you Hallman!) in UFC 55.

I actually think Barnett has a shot at beating Cro Cop, and I'd like to see how he handles Fedor. His blend of Greco and Muay Thai might give Emelienko some problems. At the very least, it'd be fun to see.

Aw. Don't sully your comedy with straight prediction posts like that wombat. It saddens me to know you are capable of the same dry statements most people use in their prediction posts.

Somebody should ttt or post all of wombats prediction threads. I'd like to read any I missed. (And, ya' know, , I'm hanving a slow day. Need some comedy while I'm working.)