BJJ Saved My Life Tonight

Hey Joslin's bros and everybody else on the UG. Unfortunately, I will be out of commission for a couple more days from training...fortunately better than being a lifetime away from training.

Let me explain.

I attended the Funky Munky tonight. (for those non-Hamiltonians, Funky Munky is a trendy night club in Steelcity that is notorious for having a rough and rowdy crowd. I'm friends with all the bouncers down there, and decided to do one of my regular Friday night rituals: Go hang with the boys. So I'm there, there's a little fight that's broken up around 10:30, a few people kicked out for drunken disorderly...the usuual.

Then, came 12:45...

I was standing with (edited: One of the bouncers), when a fight breaks out not 10 feet away. Huge melee: something like 10-14 guys involved. The bouncer and I run over to try and break it up, and the bouncer, seeing how many combatants were involved, rushed to get all the other security. Yours truly decided to jump in and start seperating the belligerents.

So I get a nice belly to back grip on one combatant, pulling him off the guy he is hammering, all the while screaming "Break it up" and "Knock it Off". I toss this guy away and then go to grab another guy when BAM, sucker punched with a hook from behind at the right side of my face. Hit with the solid right, I stagger and twist, and then this guy is over me, hitting me twice on the top of my head. I drop down, stunned, and BAM, BAM, he is trying to take my head off.

So what do I do? Drop down prone and prepare myself to get boot-fucked? Fall back and leave my face open to mangling?


I shot in, took his left leg, tucked my right cheek as tightly as possible against his lower thigh, and squeezed. Needless to say, the defense worked, as the subsequent punches glanced harmlessly off my skull. About 10 seconds later (felt like an eternity), the 8 bouncers there leap into the fray and start seperating and beating the bad guys down.

I get up, touch my face, and see a lot of blood. I go to the back, clean up the cut a little, and see a nice thin deep gash 3/4 of a inch wide. So off to the hospital I go. I'm worried about potential contusions, concussions, maybe even blood clots....

Three stitches. That's it.

Now, why is it I walked away from a potential massacre relatively unscathed? Because having now trained at Joslin's for almost a year and a half, shooting for the guy's leg became instinct. Tucking my cheek against his leg became instinct. Squeezing and compacting my body into as tight a ball as possible became instinct. And it's all because of the awesome people at Joslin's.

To Duarte, Jay, Jack, Damien, Jeremy, Greg, Karen, Pam, Lyndsey, Ian, Mark, Dave, Farshat, Breaking Point, Jerry, Brad, PJ, Gavin, Rowan, Rick, Jeff Joslin, and whomever else I have happened to forget...

Thank you. It was the privilege I have of training with all of you that very well saved my life tonight. You'll never understand the import of that.

Thank You All!

But don't worry, folks. The Anorexic Assassin will be back to train come Thursday, gangly limbs and all.

Till then,



(Edited cause I'm paranoid that my critics are right. And cause softspot may have a point!)

glad to hear you are ok...i wouldn't name any bouncers, but its up to you!!! yeah bjj works:)

Scott Morris would be disappointed.

I however am not.

Congrats on being alive and in one piece.

You bin drinkin again BOY!!!

Glad your OK. Now it's time to go back this friday and pay or own visit to some Motherf^&*(ers. PayBack is the sweetest thing.


i wionder how many people are going to call me an asshole for saying you should have slammed the guy on the ground...i mean you were already in tight. just a little more effort and he'd think twice next time.

...but you did the right thing by not sinking to my level.

Glad your ok SMR and thank God it wasn't Pat Smith you were facing.

Damn, this is the true reason for training.

Okay, here goes...


Nah bro. I ain't going to try to find the guy. Ain't worth it. It's not like I go looking for fights, and besides, even if I wanted payback, I'd have to worry about being bottled or ganged on (two serious possibilities at Munky).


ROFLMAO! Ass! Youse a funny today, eh? What, Uncle Hugo told you to say that? Crazy Luta Livre BASTID!!!


YOUR AN ASSHOLE! LOL! I'm kidding. Actually, I was kicking myself today about that, "Why didn't I go for the takedown?" Then I realized bro....I haven't been in a fight in like, oh, 6 years. I forgot what it is like to get punched by someone who is really trying to hurt you. So, to be quite honest, that first sucker hook stunned the SHIT outta me. At that point, I was at instinct mode, which is why I just shot for that one leg and wrapped myself around it like a boa constrictor. I was just thinking purely defensive. And, well, I'm happy stitches is all that happened. Coulda been alot worse!

I'm not trying to be over critical here.......but why
would you jump in the middle of such a mess?
Especially if you are'nt getting paid to do
so......The important lesson here is never and I mean
NEVER, lay your hands on someone unless you are
prepared to go the distance it takes to fully fuck
them up....otherwise, as sure as shit is brown in the
eye of the beholder...they will fuck you up.

hey scottmorrisrules,
when you going to funky munky again.........
im available anytime for a little payback....
just give me a ring..............HONESTLY

I'm with WagTheDog, why would you jump in?????????

Next time let the bouncers do there job! What if one of there buddies had a knife! Unless it was one of your friends being attacked, let the bouncers do what they get paid to do!!!

Also, next time you complain about being matched up with someone big in class to spar with, just have a flash back to those guys punching you in the face!!!

Glad to hear you are okay!

Thanks for the sympathy, Rick! :)

Yeah, you're right. The thing is, I saw the guy getting hammered, and though I am only a passing acquaintance with him, he is a good friend with many of the bouncers. And they're all good friends with me. Ergo.

You're right though. My father gave me the same flak today for that. He was right. Coulda potentially got bottled or stabbed if they were packing weapons. Something for me to consider in the future.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention before. Divine justice did come into the play. Once the bouncers jumped in, Group B ( the guys who instigated) got their asses handed to them on a platter.

(EDITED: Cause, yet again, softspot may have a point about too many details. My bad if my loose lips came off as a lack of sense and/or class)

So yes, there is karma in the world. And I can sleep better tonight!


"From: ScottMorrisRULES: So yes, there is karma in the world."

Aren't they in woodbridge?

KashK would know...


scott...why post all the details and names here?


SMR, you should stay away from these types of situations. They could get you into a lot of trouble some day and the headache is not worth it. Hell, you were probably drunk and don't remember getting punched out, dropping like a bag of potatoes and hugging the guys leg until being rescued like an old man lost at sea on a floating device on its last legs.

Sometimes one can't walk away from these situations but it sounds like you could have and those three stitches on your melon says you probably should have.

Just busting balls chopper. Hamilton is a rough city, watch yourself when you're out.

Man I say we all go to the club and look around and find them and then kick the living dung out of them. This kind of stuff gets me boiling. As a matter of fact I am about to start filling bottles with gasoline and a strip of cloth after I am done here.

I got this old heap of a car in my driveway, I say we throw plates on it, park it outside there home and intimidate the heck out of them. When were done just leave the car parked on their lawn as a reminder of what could have happened to them.

I am messing around, next time SCOTTMORRISRULES dont drink so many Wildberry Coolers and use your brain. Next time let the hired help do their thing. If it's directed towards you directly kick their ass and have no mercy its a street fight and only one person prevails.