Your Arsonist -- is your confidence so low that you assume taking a girl to a place where other guys are around means she'll hook up with someone else?
No...I'm saying you have no confidence in your personality or else you would take her somewhere and hang out with her one on one instead of taking her to bjj and trying to look cool and different. Sit down face to face and talk to her like an adult and reveal your personality. Girls are generally much more impressed when they fall for a nice, sweet guy with a good personality and some charm and THEN find out he's got something really positive and self improving in his life that he's passionate about. Unless of course you know your a boring fuck with nothing different to offer a girl except for talking about BJJ Which she will grow tired of by date 2 and bounce on your ass.
and no I don't have a lack of confidence about a girl I'm with hooking up with other dudes because it would'nt hurt my feelings, I would just kick her to the curb. and for the record I have, in my opinion, a smoking hot girlfriend who I take out and around people all of the time with no worries of stray.
think of all the women you have gone out with. think about all the breakups and shit you have been through. then think about jiu jitsu, if you've been doing it long enough to have some real time in. it's more than training. it's a sanctuary where you can go to get away from everything.
i have places i don't like to go because I used to go to them with an ex. what if that becomes jiu jitsu for you or anyone else who is thinking about bringing dates to class. don't do it. plus, no one wants to see you acting like a dork in an effort to get some poon.
i changed my mind:
tap that ass on the mats
twinstealth - LOL... yeah bro if you are planning on being able to "explore naked guard techniques" on the SECOND date-- she's a trollop. I would think that the last place you would want to take her on your FIRST date would be to a room with twenty other able bodied males in it.
Hasn't anyone ever talked to you about "ratios"?
^^^^^^^This is the smartest post i read on this thread.
RATIOS, remember that for the rest of your life when trying to impress a girl.
Another tip for you is when you go out to bar's or club's make sure you bring the nerdiest ugliest friends you can find that way if anybody out the crew is getting lucky it is YOU. You will thank me later=)
"I'm saying you have no confidence in your personality"
Dude, I've traveled around the world, I study foreign languages, have a shitload of interests and goals, and am in good shape. I know she's interested in what I have to say as well as what I'm good at. We already sat down for coffee and learned a lot about each other, so I'm not trying to escape that - just mix things up a bit. The class is a one-hour long activity where we can roll around and have a little fun, THEN continue the conversation part elsewhere.
"I have, in my opinion, a smoking hot girlfriend"
Well good for you.
"
as much as she seems into it...she thought it was cool that you were into it and probably
was so caught off guard that you asked her to go so she said yes.
"
awesome, hes now on first base.
chicks are prepared for dinner and drink invitations (often its an auto pilot no), where as the bjj approach as mentioned above throws them off guard and might get a yes more easily than dinner or drinks.
be different, use the bjj approach.
DamnJoe is an innovator :))
"
Sit down face to face and talk to her like an adult and reveal your personality.
"
i commend your goodness and would like you date my sister or daughter, BUT if this advice was taken literally the user would hardly ever score.
dating is about creating fantasy, not "Sit down face to face and talk to her like an adult and reveal your personality"
its completely inappropriate to bring a "date" to jiu jitsu.... ru serious? jesus, whats next; Will you be wearing your affliction shirt to the gym too?
the bjj approach may not work for the average guy because of the reasons mentioned..
BUT asking a chick to dinner or for a drink can be difficult for anyone, plus its a hit or miss approach.
we all know getting to first base is the hardest thing to do, so it makes perfect sense to have a soft approach
up your sleave for difficult cases :). AND when you get to first base (a bjj class), it doesn't
matter how many guys are waiting to bat, the fact is that your the one on first base.
Note: i think you have to talk about it being a bjj class, BUT create an environment where she only rolls
with you. ALSO dont encourage her to join, just talk about the class as an opportunity to show her a few self defense moves that every girl should know.
"
its completely inappropriate to bring a "date" to jiu jitsu.... ru serious? jesus, whats next; Will you be wearing your affliction shirt to the gym too?
"
its just a training session with ulterior motives :))
If you can pull off you just training with her this can work great. When I trained in Hawaii I had access to the gym pretty much anytime I wanted. So me and my buddy would take chicks there and teach them Self Defense type moves, if you think about it, Guard work is perfect for a chick to learn Rape self defense. We came across as these kind, sweet guys, who could kick the shit out of everyone. Worked like a charm.
It will be all good if you can control the situations that she gets put in during the class....if not, your instructor will be giving her a month free of classes for some extra curricular work in his office.
i took my new chick that i have been macking on to the gym tonite and it went great. we took the "self defense" class together, and then she watched most of the bjj class. she wants me to teach her some bjj and she wants to do some of the self defense, and yoga classes. i have pretty open access to my gym so i'm going to train with her during off times. she also has a heavy bag at her house so we are going to work some stand up. cool chick in my opinion...i understand that some guys would rather their chicks not be into it, but i think it's cool :)
deuce, i hear some gyms have a special room for such coed training!
haha...you know we have a private training area upstairs?!?!?! i'm serious!
I don't care if you're Roger Gracie, and you're rolling with Rickson, two dudes starting on their knees in jammys looks gay to a girl who hasn't been around bjj.
ttt
Oh Yeah,
PICS OR BAN.
^^^^ haha...very well thought out post.
you guys give too much of a shit though. i'm like who cares? man i'm a good looking guy that does ok for myself and just happen to live in miami beach. there are a million fish in the sea here! if i'm dating a cool chick great...if not then i don't care either as i'll be dating a couple of not so cool ones. it takes a lot to tie me down and give me jealously issues. plus, the chick i took had no interest in the bjj class. only in some private lessons ;)
akebh - bro if you like this girl you just made a huge mistake.She's either gonna start banging your instructor or and upper ranking belt.Dont shit where you eat
wuuuuurrrd.
the idea is to get to first base..
using a soft approach which nobody else has tried on her before.
after the self defense / bjj class (one on one), make the next date somewhere else,
because the bjj approach has served its purpose.