Someone told my Dad that I was bleeding from my eyes and ears after my last fight, which isn't true, but even after I reassured him, he is freaking out and telling me not to fight. (and thinks I'm hiding stuff from him now.)He hated it anyway, but never told me not to. I really need advice on what to say to him. I don't expect him to approve or like it, but I want him to feel like he's NOT a failure as a father because I'm not going to stop competing. If anyone has any advice on what to say on this matter, please give me a post.
(excerpts from his email to me)
He said that it's hard for me to understand, and he thinks I'm having fun. "It's exhilarating! A rush! Don't think I don't understand that...." There's a difference between fighting in a dojo controlled environment and putting your body at risk in a ring. He said he did his best to protect me growing up and educating me, that he's only been partially successful.
"But Roxanne, you are risking your health ! that's no small matter. It may seem so at 23 yrs old. But believe someone 30 years older, certain injuries never go away. Never. "
He also said that as my father, he's not just entitled, I'm obligated to put his opinion in front of me, even though he can't make me do anything. He wrote he wants me to stop fighting in a ring like this last fight.
(clay spicer- you're right.gah. I edited it from original post where I posted the email)
"But Roxanne, you are risking your health ! that's no small matter. It may seem so at 23 yrs old. But believe someone 30 years older, certain injuries never go away. Never."
--Shit, believe someone 10 years older. I've got injuries that hurt all day, every day, and will never go away. And I'm only 33. But I had a hell of a lot of fun getting those injuries, so it was worth it! (all non-fighting injuries, btw)
Nothing wrong with having her dad's letter on here. It shows the seriousness of the message.
Your dad doesn't understand you which is very common with men. Men refuse to step outside their own mental boundaries, especially with their offsprings. Look at your mother, she might not understand you but she realizes that the need for you to fight is huge and so she will not stand in your way. Good for her.
There is nothing you can do but to keep fighting. He's not going to like it but waddyagonnado?!
"It may seem so at 23 yrs old. But believe someone 30 years older, certain injuries never go away. Never."
You can't really argue with that. 99.9 % of us will all have a laundry list of MMA, combat sport related injuries that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.
You need to ask yourself if it's truely worth it for you in the long run. Only YOU can make that determination, not him or anyone else.
I can honestly say if my daughter was getting beat up (she's 6) I'd have no problem jumping in and beating the other girl up. My son (he's 3) if he were getting beat down by another 3 year old, I'd just take him back to the training table.
Something inside a man wants to protect females, especially their own child.
"Someone told my Dad that I was bleeding from my eyes and ears after my last fight, which isn't true,"
Rox, then ask him who he's going to believe, a "somebody" or "you", his daughter. Does he know of the many uncontrollable injuries that happen during training too, not just in the ring? He said you were a smart girl, then ask him to allow you to prove that you'll know when "enough is enough". If you had to be afraid of the "what ifs" every minute.... life would slowly pass you by... leaving many regrets later on. Good luck.
I think you need to communicate with him that he is misinformed on some issues.
You were NOT bleeding from the eyes and ears in your last, or any other, fight.
There is not that big of a difference between fighting in a "controlled dojo environment" (I'm picturing challenge matches, not just sparring) than in a controlled MMA environment.
You don't fight for exhiliration or a rush (or do you?). It means more than that.
You are damn good at what you do. It's not some "toughman" competition you're engaging in. You are an elite level MMAer with fans around the world.
You are a pioneer twice over, in that, not only do you compete in one of the newest, fastest growing sports in the world, but it is a "man's" sport, and you are a woman competing in it.
With your brains and abilities you have the opportunity to go beyond what is possible in the foreseeable future. You have the opportunity to create something where there was nothing, which is something very few humans have the capability of doing.
With fighting, you assume the risks of injury or even death. Training, preparation, and experience lessen the chances of injury or death but the risk is always there.
You can just as easily be injured or killed while driving your car, riding a bicycle, working on an assembly line, skiing, or walking down the street.
Well Rox, there's nothing you can say to your Dad to make him feel better about what you're doing. It's a natural thing for fathers to worry about their daughters. The only thing you can do is to stress to him that there are rules in place to help prevent you from being seriously injured and that nobody has ever gotten killed in MMA (if I'm wrong, let me know). I doubt it will make him feel much better about the whole thing, but it may help ease his mind a little. It also might help if he understood exactly how the fights were conducted (knowing the rules and such tend to change people's views on it).
"He also said that as my father, he's not just entitled, I'm obligated to put his opinion in front of me, even though he can't make me do anything."
With absolutely no disrespect intended towards your father; He is as fucking wrong with that statement as a person can be. He is neither entitled nor are you obligated to do shit when it comes to his needs as far as what you are doing with your life. He didn't have you as a favor to you, he had you so he could experience what it would be like being a father. Well, welcome to the jungle baby, because kids sometimes get involved in activities that are dangerous. Shit, nowadays he's lucky you aren't contemplating a 100 guy anal gangbang movie. You like fighting, you suffer training for it, go follow your dream. Fuck everything and everybody else.