The thread title says it all..If you could describe what it would be like fighting you in one sentence, how would you?
Like a warm hug followed by what can only be described as a flurry of fists from a million tiny gnomes... then deep weeping followed by more hugging.
Living Death.
Like dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Heineken Man - Like taking a bath with Whoppie Goldberg and Richard Simmons at the same time.
lol
what in the fuck...
If you want to mess with me than you probably can cuz i'm not confident and pretty weak for a man, i'll just roll up in a ball whall you punch me in the back, honestly i probably won't fight back.
HULKSMASH 
to the death, and im not joking about this.
Like wearing a Turtle-neck and a backpack…
I'll do it in a word: impossible.
GORY!!!!
Easy.
sexual
"Mercilessly beating a grown man who is helplessly tucked into a fetal position on the floor"
One of us is being stretchered out, and I don't care if it's me.
Hope you have a strength coach.
Head-butts, knees to the balls, and eye gouging coupled with the overpowering stench of Wild Turkey and vomit.
Rolling in a pile of dry autumn leaves, and crushing them beneath you.
Slowshot - "Mercilessly beating a grown man who is helplessly tucked into a fetal position on the floor"
This is probably actually more accurate than my original response.
I will break your hands with my face, beat you into a stretcher then check your girlfriends diameter in front of your mother :)