gym etiquette/safety

Tonight there was 2 white belts rolling. one was a guy in his 20s and the lady was in her mid 30s. the guy has been a member for a few weeks and the female about a year. the woman gets mounted rolls locks up triangle and the guy slamed her rampage style. hard enough to knock the breath out of her. the coach tells the lady she needs to learn to defend the slam. doesnt tell the dude shit! just sympathizes with him and says i know how you feel. is this way out of line? Im really pissed about it

while it's true that she does need to learn the defense, that dude needs a good choke slamming.

some gyms do a good job of cultivating a culture where training partners take care of each other and some gyms develop a culture where you don't have training partners, but opponents.

Coach is a moron, new guy is a douche Phone Post

powerbomb him

Kill that guy.

Find another instructor.

vegard - Kill that guy.

Find another instructor.

LOL! Seriously laughing at the computer, but I share the sentiment. This white belt would be handled at my academy, probably before the head instructor got involved and then the head instructor would handle him.

I agree with all of you. It was suppose to read she got mount and then rolled him into triangle.
Anyway,yes im pretty pissed about it.The woman is my wife and that MF is going to pay today. I was not there but both of my sons told me what had happened. My eldest son spoke with the guy but that was it, thankfully. My wife came home crying and said her back hurt from it. My blood is boiling typing this. What concerns me even more is my coach not immediatly reprimanding him. This isnt the first time an event like this has taken place and nothing was said. If you want new students and a safe place for women to trane you are going to have to look out for their safty.NOt to mention it is the right thing to do.
F*cking gym drama,i dont want to start any but this just isnt right

That's crazy. Nobody should ever slam a training partner. I deal with this kind of shit at my gym. I teach jiu jitsu and try to foster a team based cooperative training environment. Our MMA coach sees things differently and treats every training session as a fight. Needless to say, neither of us have an ownership stake in the gym and I'm making my demands to the owner this weekend. One of us is out, and if it's me, so be it Phone Post

I would blame the coach more than a strong athletic 20 yr old who until "a few weeks ago" was used to handling physical situations in this manner. In other words we as men are used to meeting physicality with physicality and when you are new and getting triangled you do not know that you are being beaten by technique and so the response is "ramp it up". the last thought on his mind is to be gentle with this older female...after all she is in the process of beating his ass! So understand he did not "intentionally" hurt your wife. he truly did not know better in that moment and 20 years of cultural conditionong took over. I think your coach some point...have told your wife (and showed her) to defend the triangle. And he should have told the guy what is and is not acceptable behavior. If anything you should ask for a private conference between your coach, the guy and yourself and express your anger and frustrations and the "why's" to both of them. Phone Post

who slams a woman? same type of guy that would beat the shit out of one.

Sounds like your coach doesnt really have his students health in mind, find a new school, imo. Phone Post

Unless both people are training for ADCC or another event where slamming is allowed, no one should be slamming their partners, regardless of size, gender and experience.

That being said, she (and white belts in general), should definitely learn how to protect their backs/necks while going for submissions from the bottom.

If it was my wife... Your coach sounds like an idiot. I'd put him to sleep at the minimum, he might get injured for good.

ok slamming out of a triangle is never ok at practice at your gym. never.

Id find a new place to train. your instructor sounds like a cunt.

Not sure I would feel comfortable pairing up a white belt female with a brand-new white belt guy. You can assume, for the most part, that the guy doesn't know all the rules or etiquette. At the least, someone should be watching their training. As soon as he started to pick her up, whoever is watching should be yelling "no slam, no slam, no slam."

I tell everybody that I train with that they are responsible for their own safety and their partner's safety. There really is no place for bullying in a training environment. The point is to learn. Kano emphasized mutual welfare and benefit. I don't think that is stressed enough in jiu jitsu.

With that said, even if this guy didn't know the rules he should have enough sense not to power bomb a chick, even if he is getting choked out.

I would kill him.

And get a new instructor.

I got slammed a few months ago after slapping a triangle on a very large white belt (im a purple but was blue at the time). Happened so fast.

I told the guy after that next time we roll Im breaking his arm. He never came back to class. he still takes the thai boxing class at my gym but doesnt dare step foot into bjj.

I would handle it the same way if it happened again. You can really fuck someones neck/back up that way. With a woman its inexcusable.

thanks for the input guys. Just wanted to make sure i am not thinking with my "feelings". Dude is gonna get it and then i will let him know why. I am going to get my coachs take on it also and make a rational decision.

You and your coach might have different ideas about what is acceptable. I'm sure, though, if he thinks it's ok to slam a female then he will have no problem with you killing this guy.

Personally, I'd slam the fuck out of him from his guard and then pass to knee on face before maybe a throat-crush choke. But that's just me.

allchokedup - thanks for the input guys. Just wanted to make sure i am not thinking with my "feelings". Dude is gonna get it and then i will let him know why. I am going to get my coachs take on it also and make a rational decision.

It sounds like you really want to put all he blame on the noob, and not your coach. That's a full on noob thing to do, it's to be expected from a certain percentage of people.

Your coach should be on that immediately though, making it clear that it is unacceptable.

Sounds like more of a coach problem to me. But of course you can't physically take out your frustrations on your coach, so... Phone Post

my opinion is
the noob is at fault for slamming a woman. Who does that? thats a fact.
dont know exactly what coaches opinion is,but i am going to find out.