I'm 4-mos. into bjj and like to think that I'm getting rid of the ego, but honestly, I often find myself rolling "not to lose." especially with other white belts. I'm not a spaz and I don't thrash around, I just mean that I tend to not try newer/unfamiliar techniques for "fear" of getting swept or passed. I know its just sparring, and I keep telling myself that, but sometimes I'll get that "I'm not losing to this guy" mentality that takes over. Any tips on losing the ego and learning to open up more? If you've had similar problems, what helped you overcome them?
Winning in BJJ is not what you do right now with other white belts. Winning is crushing blackbelts 10 years from now.
It took you 4 whole months to lose your ego...??? Really?
I lost mine the day I started. Pretty quick, I suppose. Certainly a lot quicker than MOST people.
Yeah, I'm pretty good in that regard. Always had a profound talent for spiritual stuff, I guess.
Kind of feel "above" everyone in that I'm not attached to trying to win, like others are.
Other people look so stupid to me when they roll, like they haven't go a CLUE on how to develop a "higher minded" approach to this stuff. Sometimes I kind of laugh at them.
Morans.
I have seen it take a really long time for some people to lose their ego and others lose it the first day. I lost mine immediately mostly because I wasn't an athletic kid really... I was a little chubby dude most of my life and was never really terrible at sports but never that good either. I have seen some really good athletes come in with the ego and keep it for way too long.
Find one partner you trust. Talk about it with him. Do a lot of flow rolling with him. Once you've developed a smooth flow rolling game, talk to him about increasing the pace, but with the same slow rolling attitude. Increase the pace over a few weeks until you are rolling at a higher intensity, but with a free flowing attitude.
Rolling without an ego is much easier if your partner is doing the same.
The best way to lose your ego is to keep a score of your rolling matches in your head. That way you can make sure you're always beating everyone so you don't even need an ego.
lol'd
leglockfan - I have seen it take a really long time for some people to lose their ego and others lose it the first day. I lost mine immediately mostly because I wasn't an athletic kid really... I was a little chubby dude most of my life and was never really terrible at sports but never that good either. I have seen some really good athletes come in with the ego and keep it for way too long.
thats me for sure.i am athletic and my ego was larger than life. it took getting destroyed on a regular basis to suck it up shut my mouth and try new things. Just go to class without any expectations except to learn and implement at least one new technique.
allchokedup -It's funny how it works. I have been in classes over the years with some AMAZING athletes of all varieties but especially wrestlers and they just can't take getting beat and quit. It sucks cause you know if they just hold on a little longer they will get it and then be badasses lol Oh wellleglockfan - I have seen it take a really long time for some people to lose their ego and others lose it the first day. I lost mine immediately mostly because I wasn't an athletic kid really... I was a little chubby dude most of my life and was never really terrible at sports but never that good either. I have seen some really good athletes come in with the ego and keep it for way too long.
thats me for sure.i am athletic and my ego was larger than life. it took getting destroyed on a regular basis to suck it up shut my mouth and try new things. Just go to class without any expectations except to learn and implement at least one new technique.
Man, losing ego is probably the hardest thing in bjj. As long as you're consciously trying, you're going good.
Missing Glove Tape - Listen to Pedro Sauer and let it sink in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7eNOHqKQM4
Awesome!
Great video. Mine's gone completely. I spent six weeks working my open guard and getting tapped all over the place before I finally worked the sweep I wanted. Some guys were getting really excited about tapping me :-D When it was working I reverted back to my game and upset them again. Sad really.
I think you may have to do this for much longer periods when your game is entrenched. I haven't got there yet as mine is still developing.
Moving from a closed guard system utilising half guard a lot, through to a sitting open butterfly must be really hard work! 
it comes with time. either you get handled to the point its impossible to have an ego anymore, or you quit one or the other.
oh right or you become so badass that no one can contest you and your ego stays.
honestly, ego whether we like it or not is a great motivator. you check any top competitor i guarantee you they have egos bigger than titos head.
LurkingOtis - Find one partner you trust. Talk about it with him. Do a lot of flow rolling with him. Once you've developed a smooth flow rolling game, talk to him about increasing the pace, but with the same slow rolling attitude. Increase the pace over a few weeks until you are rolling at a higher intensity, but with a free flowing attitude.
Rolling without an ego is much easier if your partner is doing the same.
The only thing missing here is the link to mattbattle.
Good stuff, I appreciate the replies.
<blockquote>Baroquen Record - it comes with time. either you get handled to the point its impossible to have an ego anymore, or you quit one or the other.</blockquote><br />leaving the ego at the door to learn with a training partner is not the same as entering a contest. its good to have be weary of a competitor but in my mind i tell myself i can handle this guy. if not i have already beaten myself.
losing ego is one thing.
don't get caught up in losing your competetive drive though.
it's not bad to win. even small victories in the gym.
if it really motivates you, compete in tourneys.
Guys that started training after me but are able to train more consistantly and now ruin me when we roll keep any thought of ego waaaaaaay down deep