Merridew's back, who wants some of this? (battle rap)

This is the shittiest rap battle I have ever witnessed

This is like saying @ThatsHowIRoll is better poster than JackMerridew because Jack didn’t post here as long.

Fuck outta here with this shit
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I maimed a few victims and figured we were done for the day.

Why don’t you spit a few bars and get us started back up again poindexter? Nice anime avatar by the way, fucking phaggot.

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I used to think there was more to Jack than being a Dage stan
But you nutride bareback harder than your average OG MAGA fan
Pretend you got the game on lock like a Dagestani handcuff
But I see through your bluff, it’s clear you ain’t got the right stuff
Hoes gonna be hoein, yulaw gonna keep flowin
Bust my nut on your towel and give it back for you to throw in

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Well since we can’t compare anything past a title win and 3 defenses lets do that:

Khabib -
Wins the title against Al Iaquinta. Never even been a #1 ranked contender or had ever fought for the title. Iaquinta doesn’t make championship weight. Khabib wins a unanimous decision.

Jon -
Wins the title against one of the greatest LHW’s of all time, former Pride Grand Prix Champion and linear UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. Jon absolutely dismantles him in 3 rounds. I mean SUH-mashes Shogun.

Khabib defends successfully against:

  • Conor who never defended his belt at 145 or 155 and is 1-1 against Nate Diaz at that point
  • Dustin who never held a belt and won the “interim” LW belt against a FW that had moved up
  • Justin Gaethje only held an interim-title prior and had never even fought for the title

Jon Jones defends successfully against:

  • Rampage who is a former UFC LHW Champion
  • Lyoto Machida who is a former Champion
  • Rashad Evans who is a former Champion

So in those four fights that we can compare Jon fought WAY higher competition and his only decision isn’t against an Al Iaquinta level opponent, it is against a former LHW Champion.

This is allowing you to then discount the 11 other UFC Title Fights that Jon won in his career and the other 4 wins over at-one-time UFC Champions including a Champ Champ.

1 Like

Wait if I’m Stan what the fuck you doing in my thread?
A million and one excuses why I live in your head

I’ll bless you with this whooping cuz clearly I’m the best
but I’m not just going tax you, I’ll make you pay in-trest

You owe me you little bitch, for giving you a minute in this rhyme,
because you’re a pebble in the road, and you ain’t worth the time.

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Jones is a cheat. The only american close to Khabib’s dominance but he cheated more than Lance Armstrong. Imagine thinking some rat who got on all fours and crawled under a cage is GOAT.

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How come Khabib never got beat up like this by a gatekeeper?

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Jack, Jack, he’s their man,
He’s sucked every cock in Dagestan!

Khabib was great but walked around at about 190 & almost killed himself to make 155. If he had’ve at least fought a few times at WW against someone his own size and won, then maybe he’d be in the running for GOAT.

For now though, he’s just a retired weight bully that never really tested himself. You can’t reward that type of behaviour. The only GOAT Khabib can claim are the ones he makes romance with at the edge of forest in Dagestan.

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No, no Jack. We can only compare Jon up to his title win and 3 defenses. Post a picture of him getting beaten up from those fights.

I guess Khabib vs Colby would be comparable to Jones vs Gus. Both around the same height/weight and Colby is pretty much a gatekeeper at WW now.

Do you honestly think Khabib wouldn’t take damage if he fought Colby or even someone like Gilbert Burns?

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The goat

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Khabib isn’t even the number 1 LW

Khabib is the p4p most dominant fighter that ever lived in his prime.

Nobody is even close.

29 fights and not even scratched, all the other guys got busted up.

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I thought there was more to Jack
But your rhymes are sorta wack
You’re like a broken vending machine, I want my quarter back
You’re stuck playing second fiddle, Mr Malcom in the Middle
Trapped on Epstein island looking for a kid to diddle
Come out of Tyler Perry’s closet you wannabe Madea
We all know I’m the shit and you’re verbal diarrhea

Fuck Khabib

Jones through his first 3 defenses has FAR higher quality of opponent:

Khabib through his first 3 defenses:

  • 66% finishes
  • 0 Champions beaten
  • 0 Fighters beaten that had previous title shots

Jones through his first 3 defenses:

  • 88% finishes
  • 4 Champions beaten
  • 2 Fighters beaten that had previous title shots

Damn, the more I look at KN career that worse it looks.

Absolutely ABYSMAL quality of opponent
Missed weight multiple times
Never moved up
Never gave rematches
Only 3 title defenses

To discuss him as the GOAT is a fraudulent discussion.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some rap rhymes
This one doesn’t

2 Likes

I probably have Jones edging Fedor but I think Teddy will always be the people’s GOAT. He should be in everyone’s top 2 at least imo

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and I thought there was more to ‘insert name’
between your crossed eyes I point and aim

I’ve never heard of you and no one else has
your flow is janky and you sound like an autistic spaz

Why am I left having to battle with this chopped liver?
You can say a lot of things about me,

but you sure as fuck can’t say I don’t deliver.

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