"The legend of Kirik" by Chandler Chaos
There once was a man, name of Kirik
He asked me to write him a lyric.
The topic, he screamed, is FIGHT! MAGAZINE
as he looked at me rather satiric!
I thought he was joking! The next thing I know
he's walking me down yelling "Come at me bro!"
I don't trane UFC, so I backed up a bit :)
He grabbed me, choked me out, and it made me shit!
I know that sounds gross but what can I say?
The dude is real passionate about MMA!!
The moral of this Praise song is what NOT to do.
So read Fight! magazine or this could happen to you!
This is clearly an /thread calibur submission, however, I respectfully withdraw my entry from the contest so that others may win these great prizes.
A commercial:
a buxom chorus line enters, dressed in lingerie
they surround a conflicted video gamer, unsure if his Cheetos lifestyle reflects the masculinity he was going for when he purchased UFC Undisputed 2010
a tantalizing, coming-of-age musical begins
If you want a shitty mag, gritty bag, city nag
Waive an "I love Oprah" flag, lispy stag (dressed in drag)
But if you have the gamer tag SEXYFRAG ZEROLAG
Crack a Fight! and zig a zag, take a drag (not a fag)
TUF marathon resumes
twitter.com/awhansen
neat poems friends! happy 2011 ug!
Fight flight.
Fight fright.
Fight. It's your right.
Og-Wan Kenobi - Sung in a country western style. you can tap your toe if you like...1,2,1,2,1,2...Fight! Magazine it's The best around,You can always tell when ole Fight!'s in townAll the boys stand around with a smile on their face And the girls can't keep their eyes in one place. You got Dana White and he aint no jokeAnd Joe Rogan Is there to call an eye pokeWe all know that tha OG is gay But they're welcome to read the magazine anyway. If you wanna find out who's comein upOr you need to know where to buy a new cupFight!'s got what you're lookin for.It'll keep you comin back for more.Get diet tips and jiu jitsu tricks or just look at all the pretty pics.Fight! Magazine it can't be beat Any way you slice it's Fucking Sweet! <img src="/images/phone/post_tag.png" alt="Phone Post" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;"/>
What you mean is 'sung to the tune of Good Ole Hockey Game by Stompin'Tom Connors'
Last time I entered a caption contest
It was for FIGHT! magazine and I passed the first test
Now on to the voting up against the rest
It turned out everybody liked mine the best!
I got the top prize, UFC Undisputed 2009
I was so excited, it was finally mine
I sent the email with my address line
Chris replied "It'll be there in no time!"
"SWEET! I can't fucking wait!"
First it was a month, then it turned to eight!
And I'm still waiting til this very date!
I'm just speakin truth, I aint tryna hate
So where da fuck's my game?
Who the fuck's to blame?
You say you can't ship to a P.O. Box
MOTHERFUCKER!!! ARE YOU SMOKING ROCKS?!
So the short of it is I never received my prize
So I'd like to say: FUCK YOU GUYS!
SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! lol
Seriously though...I'm still waiting on a game that is now WAAAAAAAY out-dated and emailing Chris and Kirik doesn't seem to produce results.
Each entry I look at gives me better odds of finally snaking a free blue name of out of this place after years of trying.
I just got hired by thegarv.com to write for HIM, yeah, Big Nose Himself, winning a blue name here would just add to the madness and possible co-work from my Gonzo writing background.
I'm serious, I'll do that if I win. And my personal profile website will change to that of the highest bidder, which I would have to consider as mma.tv due to tight pants McJets Fan.
FIGHT!
Why are you covered by mags in the back of the rack?
Fight!
Why can't I see your pictures unless the lights are bright?
FIGHT!
Why is the UG in the back of your mag?
Right!
Someone said the owner is a dirty f*g!
FIght!
Don't you know that print media is dead?
Fight!
Wtf fellas, what's wrong with you heads?
FIGHT!
WHy are all the girls as ugly as hags?
Fight!
Why did I spend 5 bucks on this rag?
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Master Tang - Each entry I look at gives me better odds of finally snaking a free blue name of out of this place after years of trying.
I just got hired by thegarv.com to write for HIM, yeah, Big Nose Himself, winning a blue name here would just add to the madness and possible co-work from my Gonzo writing background.
I'm serious, I'll do that if I win. And my personal profile website will change to that of the highest bidder, which I would have to consider as mma.tv due to tight pants McJets Fan.
Homeboy plz. Mine might even be released on itunes...Haters gonna hate I guess....You cocky ass.
1 Love
peace and love
peace and love
When I die after torture
for witnessing crime
tragic passerby watching
at just the wrong time
Got my name in the paper
my ass in a trunk
the butt of a pistol
whipped down by a punk
And though I've got a family
a daughter and son
who will never say
"Dad did you see that home run?"
I'll take comfort in knowing
the cuts to my spleen
Were rent open by pages
from Fight! magazine
.
You're a grand ol' mag,
you're a great fighting mag
and forever in peace may you reign!
You're the emblem of
the sport we love,
where champs are not born but are made!
Every page reads true
and the ads also do,
though there's often a douche or a hag...
But should old subscriptions be forgot,
keep your eyes on the great FIGHT! mag!
Master Tang -Rumbler -Master Tang - Each entry I look at gives me better odds of finally snaking a free blue name of out of this place after years of trying.
I just got hired by thegarv.com to write for HIM, yeah, Big Nose Himself, winning a blue name here would just add to the madness and possible co-work from my Gonzo writing background.
I'm serious, I'll do that if I win. And my personal profile website will change to that of the highest bidder, which I would have to consider as mma.tv due to tight pants McJets Fan.
Homeboy plz. Mine might even be released on itunes...Haters gonna hate I guess....You cocky ass.
1 Love
peace and love
peace and love
Have studied Guitar for 25 years.. got friends in the proven industry.
DO NOT BITE OFF MORE THAN ONE CAN CHEW. I do not take this lightly, if you wanna get wrecked my boys will win this.
Come at me bro.
YOu studied guitar for 25 years? You must really suck or have no talent whatsoever. I could play the star spangled banner on a 12 string acoustic with my teeth after only 3 months of playing
when will I receive these fantastic prizes?
Reflections from a Sylvia Interview
So this guy, he says to me
(and I'm not editing his words
because his soul would then become my own
the pen a Highland sword)
And so Big Tim, he says to me
(and hear me closely as I write
because a cloud of spoken verse
it sometimes doesn't read quite right)
What were his words? See that's the problem
as I sip this vodka rue
and feel perception folding backwards
like trapezists often do
The fuzzy edges of his face
Become the barrel of a gun
And I am sorting lucid splendors
Like a TI-81
Merciful God what will they think
when someone posts this interview
I wish I'd kept my face from sight
A limpid vapor sniffed from glue
What were his words, what did he say
I wish they had been written down
say in a journal or a magazine
then I'd be less a clown
I should have done it well and done clean
And done it true and right
I should have just transcribed the whole damn thing
And mailed it off to Fight!
Hi kirik, my little poems didn't format correctly from my phone, if you can take this into consideration thankyou , ps half these guys are professional poem makers :-) give the new guys a bluemame :-) 
You bitches must have forgotten...
MY SHIT WAS FUCKING AUDIO!
Hold me down, bitches. move over Ted Williams, I GOT THE GOLDEN VOICE
So......
Kirik?
Deadline? Date of announced winner?